May 25, 2005

grain of truth

there are times wen i am so incredibly selfish, i scare miself.

May 12, 2005

wen life gives u lemons..

i live to read
for those who is ignorant of my life and i (wise choice tho, i shud say), i consume books and magazine and columns and every single printed matter ever existed.
fact: i also read very fast.
and heres a closet skeleton: i read paperback romances.
frankly, i am a bit bashful admittng out loud dat i read those kinda fiction
but fact remains, i do
and the funny thing is, im the least most romantic person i kno
honestly, i think reading romances requires the tiniest amount of neuron activity and dat i like. i say, i read to primarily to relax and unwind, therefore im validated.so leave me alone. unlike sum people, i am NOT a literature snob. i respect nietzsche and wagner as much as i do howard or quinn or dahl or gibson or milton. its all around, indiscriminating, unconditional, convention-defying, passionate love that i feel towards books and/or reading. no regards. its humbling, realli
*cough*
off d tangent here
point being: my life is a lot made of me reading outta sumthg
so, its logical precendent that i wud kno good authors/writers as opposed to urm, the opposed. just sumtime you'd find a writer that .. connects. forgive the cliche, but the kind of writing that u cud actually feel you totally, utterly, painfully comprehend every nuances of emotional engangement being conveyed in the writing. i cant say i totally agree with good writers are those able to make readers self-relate to their reading (its only so often that u cud become a misunderstood nun living in the alps with national conspiracy looming in ur horizon and ull end up having to save the galaxy in 2 weeks), just the kind of writing that, for lack of better words, educate. in the truest meaning of the word.
i foolishly discover that anyone could think of a clever story plot with unassuming twists and nifty endings. BUT not everyone could write them in ways that works, at least not for me. and anyone who reads wud kno dat its pretti hard finding authors wif writings dat works for u. this is amazingly true. well, its like dat wif me, anyway.
this wud explain why upon every discovery of 'working' authors i wud stick to them until i suck them dry i.e. pratchett, fford, dahl, tolkien, sheldon, masterton, doyle, roy, blah blah
seems to be working (ask me again after i get the last 8 practhett books to read.)
comfort pointers:pratchett is still writing and fford is too, so i still haf time to find nu good writers. good authors (albeit, my good authors) shud be granted immortality. ythink?
the quest for more literature morsel continues, for the time being im temporarily content exploring a new niche supplied by 2 of my collegues. yay.
and the www factor, oh boy the internet. boundless, seemingly unending ocean of literature published all available at your convinience, to read to your hearts delight.
but being diehard paperback fan, i cud never betray myself reading wif any ebooks garnered online. just the blogs, articles, postings, ykno, lightweight readings.
all this digression.
my point: i stumbled upon my high skool's senior website and heres me understatementing her capabilities: she can realli realli realli write
i had goosebumps
she is doing her last semester in the states. her blog entries, her articles, her feedbacks and everything she has taken to write was absolute wonder to read
i was in awe
i tink i found an idol
i read all the entries back to march 2003 and came to one painful conclusion: i wish i cud write like her.

to which this trail of depressing revellations was unearthed, a)i have no published works. nada. not one. b)i have yet to finish one (read it, one) complete literature work on anything c)i really dont think dat im a good writer after all
the last one wasnt realli a suprise
as my reflexive mental self preservation kicked into gear, i found complacent (if not a tad hypocritical) facts that may/maynot aid me in my striving literature endavour.
simply: all in all, im doin pretti ok for a girl who was initialli introduced to english as a secondary language and has never lived abroad. and considering my peers, im writng pretti darn good stuff too. if u like chaos. maybe im an acquired taste. austen, ill never be but i never liked chuzzlewit anyway.

feel a lot better now

it is still my heartfelt wish to be able to be a good writer. nothing earth-shattering, just decent. i guess, i need to start being a writer first and foremost.

i like reading what i write, i guess thats a start
blehh

May 11, 2005

i still heart joey gilbert

ha!
obsessed squared

i haf temp access to the internet at d office now
yay
i dun kno for how long
no YM tho
i pretti much tink ive surfed everything there is to surf
blehh

ive done dis once before, i kno
but im bored
and its my blogpage
blehh

phreak questionaire palooza
Your Fears: height, mortality,
Your Perfect Pizza: cheese, paperoni, cheese, capsicum, cheese, shredded chickin, cheese, tabasco, olive, cheese, onions, cheese, thin crust, thick, pastry tomato sauce
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: notice the color of the sky more often
Your Most Overused Phrase: "blehh.."
Thoughts First Waking Up: i need more sleep
Your Best Physical Feature: i sorta hate evrythg about miself right now, ask again tomorro
Your Most Missed Memory: all my travels
Pepsi or Coke: coke, definitely
MacDonalds or Burger King: mcD. im kinda hooked wif their foldovers right now
Do you Swear: fuck yeah
Do you Sing: yes
Do you Shower Daily: twice a day, at least
Have you Been in Love: pass
Do you want to get Married: eventualli, yes
Do you want to have Kids: maybe
Do you belive in yourself: to do what?
Do you get Motion Sickness: long distance-puny kelisa: YES.
Do you think you are Attractive: i seriously dont
Are you a Health Freak: nope. wannabe
Do you get along with your Parents: sumtimes
Do you like Thunderstorms: lightnings too
Do you play an Instrument: nope, i like to think if i cud play any, itll be the drums
Do you Dance: love it! just not in public

In the past month have you...
Read a Book: finished 45 of it actualli
Smoked: no sir
Been on Drugs: no sir
Gone on a Date: not really. dunno whether that one time counts. blehh
Gone to the Mall: yes, too broke to buy anything tho *snort*
Eaten a box of Oreos: okay this is getting weird
Eaten Sushi: no, still recovering from the "KK sushi episode"
Been on Stage: nope, been nowhere near a stage lately

Have you ever...
Been Drunk: no
Been Beaten up: physicalli, no.
Shoplifted: oh yes. fundamental of childhood upbringing
Been Kissed: yes
Been Publicly Embarassed: maybe. i dunno. i tend to block out unsavory memories
Had a Tottaly Outrageous Crush: yes. the guy was 45 years old and ridiculously handsome, distingushed, funny, cute and married. cruel world

Later in Life
How do you want to Die: happy and prepared
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: what i want and what will happen are completely different
What country would you most like to Visit: italy

What Do You Want in A Guy
two words: joey gilbert

Other Crap...
Number of CDs I own: 150 something
Number of DVDs I own: 350 something co ownership wif whole famille
Number of Piercings: 6
Number of Tattoos: zero
Number of Most Clothing Item: shoes, stop counting at 31 pairs
Number of things in my Past I Regret: regrets are dumb, i have none

snort

May 09, 2005

i heart joey gilbert

obsessed.

met shiren yesterday
after more than a month of not seeing each other
funny wen u think that we used to live together
went to ikea, shiren is to find a new bed
she claims to be currently sleeping inna coffin box right now
i feel in love wif everything in ikea
thank god i was so broke
we din buy any bed but we found one kewl bed that shiren might buy if her mom approve the feng-shui ness of it
oh well
it was mothers day yesterday too
so i refrained from arguing (ahem) with mine the whole day
hohoho
which is more than i cud say for shiren
hahahaha
we had fun
monkee introduced me to the absolute delightful sun moulin cream puff
absolute decadent *moan*

on a mission to find frito lay
sour cream and vinegar
tak jumpe pun
tomorro shall go isetan to find
must.haf.frito.lay

found my KK backpacking trip journal
dismally absymal
i dun journal that well so it seems
we'll see wat i can do with the 15 pages notes on my trip
the trip's pix are in KL (priorly in Penang)
now if only Shiren wud letme haf em
hurry up la oi ka'che

its monday and i have already finished reading 2 books
last 3 weeks' record was 21 books a week
speed reading squared
its a curse, take my word for it

hungry
me going to pantry to gobble my MCD chickin foldover

May 03, 2005

backpacking sabah, the story

is long overdued, i kno
still waitng for the pics from penang
ill be posting my wondrous and highly exciting backpacking trip traipising around sabah
soon

i shall end my unnecessary entry with a equally unnecessary picture of the freshly eliminated, greatly missed joey gilbert of the contender (the kewlest reality sho on earth, bar none)

im in love. how could i not be? hes cute and u shud see him fight
boxing has never been so exciting. joey, i wanna haf ur kids.
mrs joey gilbert. mrs nella gilbert. mrs nella s gilbert. *swoon*
kindly disregard former entries wif mentions of me having a bf

May 02, 2005

fun wif ol fwens

after not seeing my bf for almost 5 months (could be more than dat actualli) we went out yesterday.
explaination:haniff is taking a kwik semester so he cud only come back during long weekends. seems like we could never get outta the the long-distance-relationship bandwagon. one person wud be home and so happens d otha cud not *sigh* oh well. we do try
anyway. haniff was home and we went out sunday. no plans. just 'lets go out and figure stuff to do later'
got up with sod and his gf and his gf's lil sister at klcc. they were spposed to go catch peterpans concert at planet hollywood but wasnt lucky enuff to get tickets. *LOL*
since the johore kids was in town everyone decided to meet up. after unwisely spending like, 50 bucks on books, biscuits and birthday card at klcc, sot and posse hitched a ride with us and we went ampang cause apparently the guys arranged a jamming session before dinner. met buyong at another nondescript jamming studio (im no expert but after a while all these studios look and smell the same. and not inna good way)
then kailan came wif his very quiet and strangely reserved cousin.(seriously, its hard to understand why anyone wouldnt feel right at home with the crew, they, we are as friendly and cool and accepting as a pack of walruses with erm, another walrus) anyway, after indeterminate hours (felt like forever..) subjecting my eardrums to long forgotten torture (lemme make myself clear here, it wasnt that the guys werent any good. i mean, ive seen worse bands and ive always admired zams on both drums and guitar, he so rox and sods singing is, well, tolerable and kailan and buyong and haniff can realli play, of course but well, lets just blame it primarily on the obscenely loud volume, which is all but xpected inna jamming studio thus makes my loquacious whinning so far void)
spem and shikin came in as the guys were going for the last song (thank u god!)
ignoring the ringing in both ears we headed to a foodcourt nearby. buyongs family just opened a stall there and he was treating us dinner. free food always equals to big fun
another of our matrix buddy came in later. but i honestly cant remember who he is.
was the first to leave, it was already 11 pm, im so already fatally late and haniff has a futsal date wif his high skool frens at 12.
my dad almost killed me but i got off with a warning-dad wass too sleepi to deal wif my tardiness before bed. yay (i kno, 22 wif a curfew, magnimously pathetic. r u thankful ure not me yet?)

it was great fun
its been almost 2 years since we last got a chance to hang out like dat
always great fun to catch up wif everyone
brings back memories
some of the crew were missing: berb, hasan
but its all good
we laughed a lot always would
cant really say that 3 years of uni has changed any of us, not a lot and not that would anyone could care anyway
a little wiser perhaps
not that hanging out wif each other holds any prominent opportunities to exercise anything remotely 'wise'. little or other'wise' ahem. pun intended
everyone got a go being the butt of a joke. plural for sod (sorry bud, but the hair, the peterpan escapade etc was literally asking for it)
but since zam and i was sitting across the table there was no real harm done
lotsa depressing discussion on repeating and extending our study terms
really hate to leave but just not comfortable staying out late ( hate to give dad a reason to decapitate me, anyway)
lets do this again sometime.
recurring ruptured eardrums and everything