mutant lobster zombie in florescent cubicle hell

I can run and blog and find a cure for cancer

2011-01-11T09:45:00.001+08:00

Is there nothing technology can't do?

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Getting Old..

2011-01-04T16:16:00.003+08:00

Since I was updating my blog (3 posts so far, hiphiphurray), I thought it would be nice to update my Twitter as well.

Logging in to Twitter, I could not, for the life of me, remember my account password.

Myself: Maybe it's *****
DENIED
Myself: How about ********
DENIED, FOOL
Myself: Alright Twitter-bot, try this ********
HAHA

I know I could just reset the password and get the whole ordeal over and done with but I'm nothing if not persistent (stupid and stubborn). So, I went through my little black book, cause I write everything down, thinking that maybe my Twitter password is in there somewhere.

I did write it down, it says: "TWITTER PASSWORD SAME AS YOUR CIMB BANK PASSWORD"
Crap.

Guess the movie..

2011-01-03T21:28:00.002+08:00

Home, January 2nd 2011, 1.30 am

Me : die..die..die, you sonabitch, dieeee...

Home, January 2nd 2011, 8.00 am

Sister : what were you watching late last night? I heard you screaming at the tv at past 1 in the morning..
Me : was watching that stupid twilight movie.
Sister : i seriously thought you were watching some war movie, man, you were really yelling curses for someone to die..
Me : they should have really shot that girl and the stupid sparkling pussy dead before ever thinking of filming that crap...*began a 10 minute tirade of how hateful the movie is*..

Seriously. Hate. It. Gah.

If anyone asks, am Team Jacob. Ahem.

Hap..hap..happy New Year

2011-01-03T21:23:00.002+08:00

Last post was in July 2010, for real? Talk about lazy blogging.

So maybe, albeit I resent new year resolutions, for this 2011, maybe, just maybe, I could be resolute in posting more updates.
Hear hear.

People Watching

2010-07-03T23:12:00.004+08:00

There are no strip clubs in Kuala Lumpur (that I know of). Let's just assume there are no strip clubs here, hence Kuala Lumpur has no strippers. So, presuming you're not a stripper, why on earth do you insist on dressing like one*?

Clothes, you can buy. Style, you can copy. Class, you either have it or you don't.

*lucite heels, animal print ripped spandex top, short acid wash jeans shorts, fake lashes, 4pounds of makeup, dangly earrings, tramp stamp tattoo AND fuchsia lipstick. I mean, come on.

Irritant

2010-07-02T20:47:00.006+08:00

A gaggle of girls sitting on the next table at this Mamak place, eager to join the masses watching the football game. Loudly commenting on every single action on the field to no one in particular.

Trying to convince the world that they are, indeed, the very rare and special species of girls that are seriously into football. They know all the players' names. Well done. They the loudest to cheer/moan/groan every time something happens. Sometimes belatedly. They think all attempts at the goal are beautiful and singularly worth talking over loudly for another 10 minutes or so. They wear the tiny team jerseys, proud to show their colors (and body) and where their allegiances lie. They reminiscence about the last game before this, that game was better, cooler, they watched that one, too. They are hardcore football maniacs.

Shut. The. Fuck. Up. And. Go. Home.

Everyone knows as a football fan, you're basically Justin Bieber (i.e. a fetus), but in the spirit of the Cup, we'll allow it.

Everyone also knows that you're only at this Mamak place for the guys, but in spirit of having some airhead eye-candy for the guys here too, we'll allow it.

Everyone knows that, the only reason why there are no guys sitting in the same table with you is because anyone who knows a smidgen bit more about football than you would laugh their heads off listening to the inane and irrelevant comments you insist on (loudly) making all night long, ironically to prove to the crowd how well you know their football, when, in fact, you don't.

But we'll allow that too.

It's the World Cup, and every 4 years, we can afford to be magnanimous to the needy and pathetic.

Just know that nobody is impressed.

And please, just shut up. If I want an inaccurate play-by-play, I'd ask TV1 to resume localised commenting. I want to enjoy the game in peace with my buds. I may not care about the result as much as you (seem) to do but your screeching every time someone dives grates on my nerves.

And learn about the offside rule(s).

And a deflection does not make it an awesome goal.

See you next World Cup.

Sigh.

Thank you.

If you are..

2010-03-19T09:27:00.006+08:00

If you are what you eat,
..then I am 81% Mom's food, 17% nasi kawah, 2% McD and Domino (cause only they deliver), 1% feeling guilty and 100% good eats.

If you are what you read,
..then I am Pratchett - sarcastic and with jokes people wont get the first time around. Or maybe even the second time. Or ever.
(sometimes also Gaiman, Fforde and myriads of Romance authors, but mostly and firstly, Pratchett).

If you are who you hang out with,
..then I am the 'weird nerd who knows the best places to eat and talks about stuff no other people could relate to'. Never really popular, pseudo cool, but have the awesomest fun nevertheless.

If you are where you've been,
..then I am India cause I am colorful, ethic and strange and need some getting used to. And I'm gritty and you either love me or hate me, no in-betweens but most probably, you'll remember me.

If you are what you shop,
..then I am shoes and earrings. Bought during sales. Not always the best purchase but always something you could never have too many of. And never ordinary.

If you are what you wear,
..the I am a plain black T, fuss free (I try) and stain proof. Ahem. Probably a little boring too.

If you are what you write,
..then I am tacky with strong undertones of pretentious-ness.

If you are who you listen to,
..then I am moody and undefined. Most of the time labeled 'Unknown Artist'. Wishing am not so main-stream but can't take the time to find better things to listen to.

If you are what you're good at,
..then I am Merryl Streep; actress, extraordinaire.

If you are what you do for a living,
..then I am crap. Enough said.

If you are what you watch,
..then I am executive transvestite (Izzard) in Middle Earth dancing to old tunes (Tarantino) yakking to Bobby Chin about quite interesting things (Stewart, Colbert, QI, NMtB).

If you are who you try to define yourself to be,
..then I am stupid. And trying too hard. And should know better than to sum anything up in words.

Update! Yay!

17 Reasons Why it is Cool to Have 17 Plain Black T-Shirts

2010-03-03T12:21:00.005+08:00

So Nadia has been giving me grief about my 17 pairs of plain black Ts that I own. Why, I have no idea. There's nothing strange with my dress sense. I have 17 perfectly good reason why it is perfectly okay to own 17 black tshirts.

Black tshirts are cool, says James Dean
Black tshirts are cool, says me (yes, I am going to shamelessly cheat on this list. Deal)
It matches with practically anything..
..hence, you save time when picking stuff to wear
You can go crazy when you accessorize..
..cause when you wear patterns or colors you should really rein in the add-ons
Same t-shirt, 7million different looks
You can buy them in bulks (yes, I am cheap. Don't judge)
Makes me look thinner
Makes anyone look thinner
Slogan tshirts are for idiots (I only own 2 of those kinds)
I'm incredibly messy and stain doesn't show on black. Yay black!
It's rocker punk, it's goth, it's adult sombre, it's hip, it's fun, it's anything you want it to be
Black is timeless
I look good in black
My personality makes up for my lack of color
I only have 16 pairs cause my mom threw one away so I don't really need a 17th reason now, do I?

So there. Satisfied? Do you now see why it is perfectly okay to own some-number amount of black Ts? I am not weird Nadia. You are. Ahem.

Not Dead

2010-02-17T09:43:00.002+08:00

Nothing like getting spammed to spur you into pushing an update. I will try to find the time to, I promise. Okay, I will try harder.

On that note, this blog's layout is ugly.
What the hell was I thinking wei?

Allow me to digress..

2009-12-14T00:50:00.005+08:00

and to procrastinate (I have a 40-page report due tomorrow at 1pm and I haven't done heck).

I found this while I was digging through the mounds of notes my 7months in INTAN has allowed me to accumulate ( I was supposed to be looking for my Research Methodology notes. I get distracted very easily, as you can very well see). It was the sketches of an article draft I was supposed to do for our magazine editorial. We just won the debate competition (more on this later, maybe) and Mr. Editor who was also on the debate team asked me to pen something about it. This was what I wrote:

The day we won the debate competition was indeed a day full of surprises. For one, the very fact that we even won it was an unsuspected ____ (encountered a writer's block despite the brilliant start. Asked the rest of the team to help out but they were rubbish so I restarted.)

We had one motto going into the competition, with due respect to the opponents, we held fast to our totem; "it's okay to lose as long as you do it with style". The win was an unexpected. Heck, even the preliminary win was a huge surprise. We were so unready for the finals that until we sat down on (sic) our seats on the stage (for the finals), only then that Un and I realized we had the motion wrong. But true to the spirit of the Sidang (which was strong within us) we decided to do what we have been doing the whole time; we decided to wing it. I doubt Shemi even realized anything was amiss, as usual he was too caught up with himself. What I remembered most from the competition was how vastly entertaining the audience was. One time, I only had just finished the salutations but the applause was befitting me curing cancer. I love the actions that was going on in the seats. I was sure I could see the VIPs themselves suppressing a smile or two as well. Even the hecklers was lovable. This whole essay as you can tell is about me, me, me, me, me, me and me!

I lost interest at this point and reevaluated sending any article at all for the Editorial. But 5 minutes later I got bored with whatever lecture that was going on in class and decided to give it another go.

Facts about the Debate Competition ppl don't know.

Shemi has photographic memory so in essence we cheated. Cause we brought wiki.
2 out of every 5 facts we presented were totally fabricated.
It was the battle of the giants (school-wise) MCKK in one corner, SAS in the other. STF backing Koleq just for fun.
It was colder on the stage than anyone could every imagine.
Everytime we raised our hands for POI, we had only 50% of an idea of what to say. We lie best under pressure.
It has been collectively 25 years since any of us last debated.
We felt the topic was grossly unfair to us. But since we won anyway, it just shows that we're that good.
We overestimated our opponents. We thought they'd be much better. Apparently, they suck.

As you can tell, I wasn't being serious. Can you tell? Well, I wasn't serious. I was joking. My ego is not that huge. Am not that obnoxious. But I gave Un/Mr. Editor the draft anyway for a look-see and he made some notations:

Un's 2cents: no. 2 - don't mention, tukar lain
no. 8 - play nice dude, tone down

add-ons:
-Un had difficulties to listen to any of the POI from fellow oppenents because Neila and Shemi can't stop talking from both sides of his ears.
-at the back of the hall, we sang Mariah Carey's I can make it through the rain (while we were waiting for the VIPs to arrive).

Good times.

Oh Lord. I miss my friends at the DPA like you can't imagine. Choi. Back to work now. Sigh.

Blood, Guts and Gore.. it must be Eid!

2009-11-29T10:31:00.005+08:00

So it's been a while. My apologies but I can't really be blamed for having a life now, can I? Ahem. So, in case you're wondering (which you probably aren't), I am alive and well and having the best time of my retarded life. Yay. Will dish out details as soon as I get to leave the antiCreativity-Vortex that is INTAN. Seriously, if there's any place on earth that could suck out all your individuality and creativity, it's this place. Guess, it's not that big of a surprise seeing how it is here that mindless government drones are bred and trained every miserable day. But I digress..

It was Eid al Adha and I got to go back for a while. I wanted to post all the really gruesome pictures but I really don't want to offend any of my 3 readers. So, behold the PG pictures..

That person with the white serban and black wellies is the SlaughterMeister extraordinare. This was the moment when Bull became Hamburger.

This was still twitching when it was plopped in front of me. Twitching! It wasn't even connected to the cow anymore. Come on.

These escaped the festivities. Count your blessings, goats!

Pictures are obviously not in sequence. Just a surrounding shot of the site of carnage before any carnage was occurred. People standing around trying to look like they know what they're doing.

Still PG right? Everyone grab a limb and work our way down from there. Bear Gryllis did a whole camel on his own.

Cousin and moi. Ahem. Yes, the headscarf was borrowed and only because it was the only one available. I forgot to bring any of my own. Shut up.

End result. Yummilicious squared. My arteries are still crying over the grease and fat intake from that day. Haha.

FIN.

this is what my legs look like today

2009-10-21T20:59:00.000+08:00

I did this to myself. Glory has a price

Life through a Face Mask is so much more better looking

2009-10-21T20:44:00.003+08:00

Am in Kuala Kubu Baru, Selangor now. The Fire and Rescue Academy Malaysia. Am currently ongoing the last of my uniform-outdoor module of this course (yes, it's still not over and yes, it's been forever). So yeah, am with the Fire and Rescue Dept. and of course it's hardcore army training. Much harder this time cause our last outdoor anything was before Eid we are woefully outta shape. So, after 2 days of pumping, star jumps, situps etc etc, I'm happy to report that I'm surviving. I have bruises on top of bruises and I lost feeling on both of my legs now but hey, it's all fun. The instructors are hitlers and the sun is unforgiving but now I learnt to put out oil spill fire, compartmentalized fire behavior, set up my own breathing apparatus and carry the bloody thing around town (heavy like shit wei), learnt to set up water lines, repelled down a 4 storey building and the creme de la resistance, went through a 200m trauma inducing underground sewerage while wearing the BA. And it's only Wednesday.
Wish me luck for Thursday, Friday and Saturday

Talk to the Hand Cause the Face is Laughing Too Hard..

2009-10-11T09:17:00.005+08:00

She was talking about me.

I'm posting what she said here for all you lazy buggers. It's a good one so you might want to brace yourself:

there is a junior from my high school doing her attachment here. i don't know if i should tell her that i recognize her. it was her name, actually, that made me notice her, because it wasn't common. i'm not going to introduce myself, anyway, at least not as her schoolmate. i was suprised that i recognized her at all, since i don't pay much attention to people, more so juniors, but i was even more suprised because i did not like her. at all. and that attitude hasn't changed a bit! she was the kind of junior who would refuse to greet her seniors, and would defend her place in line when a senior wants to cut in (things you didn't do back when seniority rules still applied and the school system still relevant). to think of it, she was kind of like me, except with much, much more annoying high-pitched voice and an even worse know-all attitude. at least i was quiet and kept to myself.

I did a week placement at Selayang Hospital and saw her the first day. I knew exactly who she was. The funny thing was that, I could recall no previous opinions about her from ye olde skool days. I didn't hate her, couldn't remember if I'd ever did. I was (and still am) indifferent to her. But I had to admit, it was a tad weird when she seemed so clueless of whom I was. I mean me, the ultimate celebrity. Hoho.

But now I know why.

And I have this to say: it's been 10 years, sister, let it go. All these baggages, it can't be good for the soul, yeah? This is life after school, live it. Embrace it. Love it. Feel the love, can you feel the love? Feel the loveee...

You're nothing like me, you're a better person. You forgive and move on. You're not judgmental. You're an open and warm person. You're not stuck up on the past.. Wait, did I have it backwards? Yeah, I did. Smirk.

About the seniors-cutting-line-thing (Lord, can you get anymore juvenile?); Sorry, but I didn't do it to my juniors, can't see why you had to do it to yours. This one still gets on my nerves.

My voice is modulate and pleasing to the ears. The dulcet tones of my voice is craved by many. Admit it. Hahaha.

Can't do nothing about the know-it-all attitude. I am better than anyone and I know the best for everyone. Fact. Although I prefer the term 'opinionated hussy' coined by Shiren Monkee especially for me.

I did keep things to myself during the hospital placement, her boss even remarked that, "it's these quite ones (refer: me!) we have to watch out for..". So, okay, maybe he probably changed his mind after spending more than 2 hours with me but still..

I would normally refuse to greet anyone whose life has no importance to mine, senior or otherwise. Why wouldn't anyone?

You're right though, it was back in the days and when you were still relevant. Times has changed indeed. Hah. Burned.

Grow up la kak oi.

X (now) + 1. Groan

2009-10-09T15:04:00.004+08:00

I'm over you.

I want good things for you.

If anything, I'm indifferent to you.

I have some regrets but I can live with it.

I really do hope you get to have a happy life.

Having said that, I'm also selfish (and narrow-minded) enough to hope really hard that my life will be happier, better and awesomer than yours. Hah!

This is the Raya Grinch

2009-10-03T19:07:00.004+08:00

So Eid came and.. well, it's still here, isn't it? Ramadhan was probably one of the awesomest Ramadhan ever so therefore Eid was even more dreaded than usual (oh, sue me). Had to be in campus during the weekdays but they paroled everyone out on the weekends.

Got my Eid garbs two days before Raya. Which is a good time to get Raya stuff since almost everything was marked way down. Yay.

So, I Raya'ed in K.L, Temerloh and a day trip to Kuantan. It was alright. Meh.

Today is the 13th day of Syawal and people are still coming to my house. Great. I live for the day I get to do endless amount of dishes and non stop refilling of the Raya cookies. Snort.

Ahem. So, from the family and myself, since Eid is stubbornly still now, a somewhat belated Selamat Hari Raya. Whopping whee.

You just have to know when to give in..

2009-09-12T23:50:00.003+08:00

Even when you try so hard to resist..

Even when you think you can withstand it..

Even when it's against everything you stand for...

Even when you still don't get what's it all about..

..you need to know when to give in and give up..

They say; if you can't fight it, then screw it, join it.

So, after being staunchly protestant about being associated with it, I have *reluctantly* decided, for various unavoidable reasons which has forced my hands, to..

JOIN FACEBOOK!! ~am so ashamed.

nellashuhaime@gmail.com.. moving with the insanity.

It's My Party

2009-09-07T01:31:00.005+08:00

Real clever, Akak. Jerk.

Butterscotch walnut. yum.

It was my 2*ahem*^look! a badger with a gun, can you see?^*cough*6th birthday yesterday. I had big, fat fun celebrating with new friends over in Campus and later with my family at home. Shopped at IKEA with mom for storeroom shelves and kitchen blinds. Bought myself a pepper grinder for my birthday present. Pathetic, I know. Oh well.

Thanks my family for the food they sent over for me to share with my classmates, the presents, thanks everyone for their birthday wishes. Next time just get it right, it's my 22nd birthday, geddit? Who you calling 26? You wanna come here and say that to my face,punk? Yeah, I don't think so.

Getting older means you're scarier to little kids.

Everyone in their rattiest PJs and half asleep (we had a test during the day, so we crammed the night before). They still managed to finish all the food and all I get to send to the boys were half of the cake. Poor ravenous fools.

Yes, we take our partying very seriously. Snort. Snort.

Teaser.. Sorta Kinda

2009-09-01T23:56:00.011+08:00

I promised updates and pictures, non?

Well, going through the millions (and millions) of pictures I have of my course (which is only halfway done), I got scared. And lazy. Oi, vedi the lazy wei. So, here's my deal: I'll post a picture or two of each module I've been through. And later (like, next year perhaps), if I can remember any particularly amusing story from any of the modules, I'll do a special post of it. With extra pictures and extra sambal.

**For the aliens out there, what is happening right now is that I'm undergoing a 7months course for my job confirmation. This *stupid but highly entertaining* course consists of several week-long modules like Economics, Human Resource Management, Law, Constitutions, etc. etc. Among the myriads of modules, I also have to attend some awesome outdoor module i.e. Army, Police and Firerescue Training and the memorable Outward Bound. These are their stories =cheng cheng=~a la Law and Order: SVU.

The first two weeks (May) was sheer blimpin' hell, excuse my Jawa. I was out of shape and bewildered and they made us camp out in Lagong with no sleep, 8hours hikes and insane disciplinary antics. I posted my post-Lagong physical sakitness renderings here. It was during this module that I was introduced to the now-familiar squat jump, star jump, PT10, 5 degrees of sit ups, 2.4km run, etc. etc. Aah.. Memories. I'm also still recovering from the 1st degree sunburn from the multiple 'let fry them in the sun at 2pm cause they were _____[insert whatever asinine reason you can come up with]' sessions. Picture:

Compare ~~five~~forehead with forearm. Choi.

Hello, tubs of whitening creams.

Only seemed happy cause brain is fried and sleep deprived.

Next, I went for my army module, allegedly the hardest and toughest and feared of all the outdoors module. It wasn't all that. I mean, in a good way. I managed to muddle through so it can't be that hard, right? I mean, I'm basically your blob of human fat traipsing around with zero stamina. I did fine there hence it can't be that bad. Yeah, we got yelled and screamed and hollered at. But it was all good. There, in the hallowed ground of PULADA (Army Training Centre, Johore), I discovered 3 things:

I love riding in the 3 tonnes truck. Love, like, L.O.V.E. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pretty good at dismantling and using a M16 rifle. So-so aim though.
I can drink all the water I want and if I run around in full camouflage gear in noonday heat, I wont ever need to go to toilet.
I am awesome. Ahem. Evidence only shows.
I can't count apparently. Hmm..

Pictures, only because I'm too cool.

Personalized camouflage. Nama sape ntah.

Who would've thunk that something so, erm, aggresively vehicular could be so much fun? Sigh.

Then, we were bussed off to Lumut, Perak for our vacation, I mean, Outward Bound module, more fondly known as OBS (retro acronym - Outward Bound School). I had so, so, so, so, oh Lord, so, so, so much fun here, it's ridiculous. Kayaking and whalering. Learnt about riggings and sails and camping and had plain crazy fun. Choi. Gile. Pictures now.

Watchmates and I storing the sails in the erm, sail house.

In our beloved whaler, Loius Rothman II, that kicked other whalers' asses. Boo yah. I manned the bow and the jib sail.

Kayaked until my shoulder quitted. Avec Roy (beloved kayakmate who volunteered to be the sweeper. Psychopath that he is) en action.

Tadaa. My 3-tiered tan lines.

And then there was my Biro Tatanegara module in Malacca. I was there for 5 days of brainwashing. Yes, I am 100% pro government now. All evil roots from DSAI (there, you people happy now?!)

With my white school uniform, damn cute right? Snort.

Last is my most recent Police Module. Out of this world experience. And guess what, the pictures ain't ready. I have a few but the stories that comes with it will have to wait.

Was in Ulu Kinta for 3 days for training, Including the PORU (Police Order Riot Unit) training. Dem awsum.

Compass reading practical. Piece of cake.

Faez and I. Woke up at 6 for marching practise. Perky for a.m, eh?

So there. Janji telah dikota. Holy shit, its already time for sahur. Enjoy these and I'll catch you later.

Is This Link Broken?

2009-09-01T23:06:00.005+08:00

Oi.

So it has been a while since I last updated.

I'M SORRY!

Still, that ain't reason enough to kill my blog, kan?

Right?

Sigh. All the wonderful stories I were about to share with the world..

Oh well.

Wrecked, frazzled and brainwashed

2009-08-08T13:38:00.003+08:00

I pledge, that as soon the stupid contractor finishes renovating my house and reconnect my bloody phone line and as soon as I find where I stashed my modem, I shall dedicate one entry per module of this course I'm attending, avec illustrating pictures. Because I'm having the time of my life right now and it's just not right that I deny all of my readers (all 2 of them) the pleasure of sharing the most illuminating experience to my life as yet. Ahem.
As to that, allow me the small honor of updating everyone (the 2 aforementioned) that I just finished my Citizenship and Constitution of Malaysia (roughly translated) course. It was in Melaka and what it was, was basically 5 days of a certain one person bashing and repeated reinstatement of all the justifications of why a certain detainment act is necessary to the whole lot of us, diplomatically put. What it was to me was a demonstration in absolute denial by various degrees. I managed to practise my poker face and read Pratchett under the guise of taking notes.
But not all was in vain. I learnt the lyrics to some patriotic songs (the ones that all this while I only vaguely recognise thhe chorus), crash course in the history of this fine nation and most of all we managed to visit Melaka town. It was great fun especially us looking very retro awesome in our regulatory white school uniform.

I'm gonna try to upload pictures now. Am posting from my cell so we'll see.

... I failed. Later I will try again. Till then, my little brother's college convocation is today. Joy. Congrats brat. Now get a job so I don't have to give you duit raya this year.

News From Afar

2009-07-23T10:37:00.003+08:00

Ahoy. Here's a quick update just to prove to people I am still alive. Picture was taken last two weeks on top of our whaler (Louis Rothman II) in Lumut. Had crazy (CRAZY!!) fun and am now sunburned to crisp. In case you forgot, I'm the one standing by the main mast saluting the world and enjoying being so far away from our restraining camp.

Reprieve!

2009-05-29T10:38:00.003+08:00

Warning: inverted commas will be severely abused in this posting.
They're letting us out for 3 days this weekend. They say we 'earned' it for 'good behaviour'. They say its a 'priviledge' and we still need to be 'careful' because in the next 7 hours until they let us out, 'anything' could still 'happen'. They say be should be 'thankful' because we are allowed to see our families after 2 weeks solid of 'training', 'conditioning' and 'orientation'.
I say..'thanks'. *you have no idea how hard that is for me to say*

Now, I need to buy a black court shoes that doesn't murder my toes, get a medical checkup done for the army module, withdraw billions of money to pay for the millions of stuff they asked us to and cuddle with my mom.

Everything Farking Hurts

2009-05-27T09:25:00.003+08:00

i'm in purgatory. My mom made me volunteer for this. I am not loving my mom right now. It's been 9days since I last had a decent night sleep. I am barely coherent and extremely snippy, i pity the fools around me.. They've been dishing out army style physical torture and I have bruises on top of my bruises. My right toe is numb and I don't even know what day it is today. In short, I'm freaking awesome
And guess what, I have 6 more splendiferous months of this to look forward to. Fudging A.

Roadkill

2009-05-12T14:32:00.004+08:00

I've noticed in the past 2 weeks that there have been quite a number of roadkill I can see on my way to work. This morning I decided to count and discovered that there were 5 dogs , 2 cats, 1 suspect snake and 2 unidentified carcasses (all in various stages of decay) littering the side of the 10 km from home to the office. That's quite a lot, you'd have to agree. Unusually so, even. And the dead ones are evenly spaced out in all the areas I have to pass; from Selayang to K.L (via Kuching Road), equal share of animals run'd over. Obviously roadkill happens all the time, I'm very much aware of this. It's probably normal to have maybe one or two dead fourleggers every 2 other months or so. But 10 dead animals in 10 km? That's not right.

Are Malaysian drivers getting especially retarded in the past 2 weeks? Are animals more suicidal than usual? Tag games gone wrong? Some deadly vendetta going on between the homosapiens and the other mammals/suspect reptiles? Sadistic animal population control? Skewed Pavlov reaction to shiny metal contraption on wheels hurtling down the freeway at 90kmph? What? It's a mystery, one we'd probably would never know the truth to..

Later today, on my way back, I'm gonna take pictures and put it up here. The one dead dog near the Duke Freeway is especially gruesome, with maggots and decimated brain matter and everything. Awesome.

(Of course this could be happening because of all the road lights are not working now and nights are especially dark but hey, common sense sucks. And rationality is boring)

Friends, Haters, Me

2009-05-07T21:15:00.004+08:00

No, I am not really surprised. I know your girlfriend hates me. No love lost there, I assure you. I did try to give it a shot but after finding out that she slept with you within 30 hours after your first date, I made up my mind that as open minded as I am, I really can't be friends with a slut. Which she is. A big one. I'm judgemental like that in this. She can't handle it, tough. Plus knowing that she went down on you without taking off her tudung also didn't help the argument. But the biggest clincher is that she's a big, obnoxious bitch who is full of shit. The slut thing pales in comparison and that is saying a lot. Also, I know the reason she hates me is that she can't handle perfection (read: me). Hate me all you want, hater. I'm still better than you.

But I have to admit, I didn't see the other thing coming. So she's your girlfriend now. Great. But you were my friend before that. And after all that manly, macho talk about how you run your life the way you want it, how come the moment Sluttier snapped her fingers and said you can't talk to me anymore (for whatever insane reason), you did nothing but acquiescent. Talk about pussy whipped. Talk about vaginamatized. But it's cool. I can live with it. Not everyone can walk the 'bros before hos' talk. And also, if you're gonna be that kind of friend, than I think I'm better off without, no? Exactly.

Yes, some things are weird. Like it is weird that whenever I'm over visiting E you would barely acknowledge I'm alive. Which is a tremendous effort seeing the kind of racket E, U and I would make every time the three of us gets together. But hey, I still get it. When Sluttiest is around, she holds the leash and you licks the ground she walks on and when she says you can't have anything to do with me, you say how high. Alright. She has spoken. You pant to obey. It's pathetic, but I get it. I really do. I've seen movies on this. Documentaries.

But what I don't really get is all the SMSes you've been sending me, like everything is okay and stuff are normal. If you have something to say, just say it. As I age (slowly..very, very slowly), I prefer direct verbal communication over SMS; it's those little pesky buttons. Why aren't you speaking to me the things you SMSed me about? Oh, I remember. You cant cause your buck fuddy says so. That is so lame, and the old you would totally agree that it's probably a 7000 on the So-Lame-You-Should-Kill-Yourself-With-A-Shovel-O-Meter (the meter goes all the way to 5). But you're still entertaining and funny and I sometime I welcome the distraction so whatever, yeah? Lets SMS.

So now I found out that Sluttiestest hates me because she thinks I'm judgemental (that's why I have taste, sweetheart). And she making sure that you and I aren't talking ever again because you told her that you were thinking of dating me before you met her. ??!!?. WTF, man. You totally hid your retardation very well, I almost couldn't tell before you pulled this stunt. Because, you are, right? Retarded? I despise Skanky (like nobody's business) but hey man, you don't say something like that about your female buddy your girlfriend hates to your girlfriend. You get me? Cause if you don't, just bring out the crayons, I'll explain it in pictures and sound effects.

And player, please. Before this Living With Gonorrhea phase you're having, I did think you were pretty cute and hilarious but I would never date anyone who can braid the hairfur on his back. Ever. That thing makes Chewbacca cringe. So, yeah. And now, hoho, now, I wouldn't touch dating you with badger on pole with a really tall thing in his hands. Why? Because I hear STDs kills. Boil yourself in a vat of lye and drano then maybe, maybe we'll talk... You know what, don't bother. She's been around the block and Lord knows whatever you might get from her is probably atom-bomb proof. Like cockroaches. Haha. Exactly like cockroaches.

Addendum to Whore's 'no talking to Nella rule', I'm adding 'no anything to/with Nella' until you stop being so typical. Glad we had this talk.

ohai shanghai

2009-04-23T18:45:00.006+08:00

The theme of this Shanghai pictorial is 'Flora and Fauna'. Like your Standard 5 art project. I'm a girl. I like flowers. Deal with it.

I'm a woodland fairy. Whee. Okay, maybe more woodland mafia-hitman than fairy.

This is peony, the national flower of China. They bloom for one week every spring. This peony is blooming. I like peonies. But every time I say 'peony' it comes out sounding wrong.

This is my retarded pose next to a 1000 year old bonsai of my choice. I like this mini-tree. It looks like a surprised Ent.

Maple and Me. Spring was awesome.

This tree was in Suzhou. Erm, at that gardenn-place we went with that crazy crappy tour guide. Darn, I'll check my travel journal after this and do a proper reporting of places I went and name of things and shit. But for the meantime, when was the last time you stepped outside and smelled the flowers?

Swiss Family Shuhaime

2009-04-18T18:20:00.003+08:00

This family gets antsy when we stay in one place for too long. So, it took us exactly 56 hours to:

a) pick a random place to travel to; and

b) arrive at the said place.

This year, we closed our eyes and eenie-minnie'ed places we've yet to travel and came up with...SHANGHAI.

Next post for stories and more pictures.

The Lipan Episode

2009-04-03T09:59:00.018+08:00

Warning : Long-ass post.

According to Wiki, a lipan is this creature.

According to me, it is an evil, sinister, creepy, critter from hell. HELL, I tell you. And I'm an authority on this matter because on December 29th of 2008, a lipan bit me on my thumb.

Allow me to illustrate my previous statement.

This,

Fudging bit my thumb.

What Happened.

On a peaceful December 29th night, the whole clan was back in Temerloh, hanging out at our pad, chilling. Even though we each have our bedrooms, everybody preferred to sleep outside. We would spread comforters and duvets and inflatable mattresses on the floor and just slumber-party'ed around the living room and the family room. My spot is in front of the TV in the family room. Great spot, that.

So, it was (not quite) the night before Chrismas when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. I was asleep and my sister next to me was too. It was around midnight when I felt something between my toes on my left feet, drowsily I reached down and tried to brush it off with my right hand when IT happened.

The most excrutiating pain I've ever felt. Ever. Pain like you wont believe. White hot pain just coursing through my thumb. Numbing everything else but the shocking burning sensation throbbing at my right thumb. One moment I was asleep, the next, I was in serious, serious pain.

Of course, instantly jerked awake by pain didn't help me figuring out what was happening. Woke my sister up with my quasi-scream of alarm. Still didn't really understand what happened. Woke everyone up after I switched on the lights and saw the 2 puncture wounds oozing blood on my thumb. No one was any help nor knew what to do because no one knew what just happened. But after carefully flipping through our beddings, my sister saw the red centipede and dad smashed it with a handy length of wood we keep around the house for situations such as this. When I say smashed, I mean, pulverised. I think it was 17 feet long and 5 inches wide. My sister said it was only 4 inches long. Whatever. She lies a lot.

All this happened in less than 10 minutes after I got stung.

All this while I was blubbering in the room, cradling my thumb and just crying my eyes out from the pain.

It was that bad.

Clueless and hopeless (there was only Minyak Cap Kapak in the house, for real, y'all), dad drove me to the emergency room at Temerloh Hospital in 7 minutes flats. Props for pops. I was groaning in the backseat the whole way. Not so much crying anymore, but shivering with cold and clutching my thumb and just wishing the pain would go away. Okay, maybe I also whimpered some. I remembered thinking, if this is this bad, giving birth would be murder. Odd, but true.

The E.R at Hospital Temerloh did an admirable job admitting my sorry ass immediately upon arrival. Joy upon joy, a lipan bite was enough to be considered an emergency case and I was promptly ushered to a treatment room. At this point, I was more than ready to scream the mantra that's been in my head the moment I saw the Hospital's front gate, "Gimme the good stuff now. Make the pain go away!".

They jabbed me three times (one on my shoulder, one on my butt and another through a drip on the back of my hand). The pain lessen (a tad) and after all the jabs, I was in pain and feeling nauseous. Well done. The rest of the hospital visits passed in a blur. My sister took care of the administrative stuff and I got called to see a doctor properly after a short wait (which none I remembered except discovering one of the doctors were my high school friend, Aisyah. I don't really remember the meeting except my sister told me I was lucid enough to be sarcastic to her when she asked me what I was doing there. Good to know)

We returned home and I snuggled next to my mom and tossed and turned a while (2 hours) in misery. I was still in pain and the painkiller didn't really help. Lying down wasn't helping so I walked around the house for a while (2 hours!), half asleep from the drugs and bumping into furnitures. I finally managed to fall asleep and woke up the next morning at 7 am for my Subuh prayers with zero pain. None! Other than the swollen thumb, last night could be just a dream. A very excruciating, painful nightmare, mind you but still.

The thumb after the night's episode:

The swelling went down in a couple of days and life proceeded as it should, unperturbed.

Or so I thought..

The Aftermath

A week afterwards, my normal size right thumb has only 2 small marks to show for the December 29th episode. I was more than happy to show my battle scars to friends and wallow in the 'awe and amazement' of surviving such strife (it could as easily be 'horror and disgust' but I like being delusional). Then the thumb started to itch. Bad. Because there were no discerning surface area that actually itched (just the whole thumb in general) my method of scratching the itch was by gripping the whole thumb in my left fist and rotate.

And then the swelling began again. A visit to the doctor confirmed that the immediate swelling on the night was due to the toxin, but this time, this swelling was because of the infection. Hooray, right?

How long did it take for the swelling to go down this time?

2 fricking weeks, people.

2 weeks of mismatched thumbs.

Left thumb, meet right thumb on steroids.

Of itchy, swollen digit.

Gatal macam you wont believe, weh.

Of weirdness happening to the bitemarks.

I call this color pallate: the Rainbow of a Festering Wound. Tres chic, non?

Changes color according to my mood. Like a mood ring. Only not. And itches more. Shit, it itched.

Of medications to avoid more weirdness to happen.

Orange, strawberry, pineapple, mint and green apple flavored pills. I eat them counter clockwise.

I tried to keep a picture record but more often than not, I pretend my original right thumb was away for a while and I was stuck with a replacement thumb on loan temporarily. I would try to get to know the loan unit better but I longed for the day my original thumb would return to me.

Azura visiting from Manjung, Perak filling in until original thumb gets back from her skiing trip in Vancouver.

And of course, I couldn't leave a festering scab alone. So this would naturally happen when I picked and prod the stupid swollen wound.

How awesomely gruesome is this?

But after a while, like all good things, it has to come to an end.

A sure sign of being on a road to recovery when I can now bend my thumb. Yay thumb.

The conclusion

What I take from this whole experience are:

a. my current pain threshold register (sharp 36% decline since early 2000);

b. my understanding of government hospital procedures;

c. instant goosebumps whenever I remembered the sheer, unadultrated pain I went through;

d. innate fear of giving birth (tabik ah para ibu); and

e. anti-spokesperson on the evilness of lipans, we should never underestimate these nasty crawlies.

I like to think I came out of this experience a wiser, more cautious person. That was why I took this picture during the next lipan encounter I had at the same Temerloh pad last month. What is with all these lipans in Temerloh, you asked? No idea, Fred. But we have 2 less than we did before, that I know.

Real live lipan, temporarily stunned by obscene amount of insectide sprayed upon it. Real live unpedicured toes belonging to me stupidly close within striking distance just so you can have a measuring basis. 15 seconds later what was left of this lipan was enough to be washed down the sink. Revenge, it is indeed most sweet.

-END-

Earth Hour

2009-03-28T21:32:00.003+08:00

Fun, wasn't it?

Look how easy it is to feel good about yourself.

What Was That?

2009-03-25T21:53:00.003+08:00

If I were to pick a word describing our non-encounter : Juvenile.

So we pretended the other were invisible. Great. What's next? See who can hold their breath the longest? Dare each other to shave a cat?

But as a "friend" oh-so-gently said, I'm probably still not over you.

What's your excuse?

IMHO, It Sucked; My Movie Review-Twilight

2009-03-16T14:44:00.005+08:00

Being the consummate trend setter that I am(ahem), I've decided to check out what's the fuss is all about, the hoopla about that new movie, you may have heard of it, Twilight (cue: tween screaming).
And thus was reminded that, like 80's, the public really has no idea what they're talking about. I mean, spandex bike shorts, hairspray and shoulder padding, people. Really?
It was probably the innate dislike I have for movies that open with self narration. Or maybe that the girl is has 0.5% star quality and her character is blander than a boiled cauliflower. Or the very selective vampire lore they decided to follow that basically makes their version of vampires neither bad, good or remotely interesting (this I need to explain: What they did was make a vampire with all the fairytale qualities [rich, superhuman powers, immortal, good looking] and blatantly force- feed viewers to like their fantasy version, hallowed out vampire. Vampire Barbies. Surprisingly, this also turn their vamps very, very, very, boring. A vampire who doesn't drink blood? And I did not see fangs. Roll in Angel and Spike, please).
Twilight continued to unashamedly disappoint me because even as a so-called romance movie, there are practically ZERO CHEMISTRY between the lead casts. Nada. Zilch. They could be siblings for all good that it does. I should also mention that I am unable to stretch my considerable imaginations to even consider thinking Robert Pattinson as anything but remotely okay looking. He is not hot. Not. Hot. Stop forcing us to think that he is. What was the line, "He is so hot but none of the girls here are good enough for him," Are. You. Serious? How on earth could the deluded casting him as Cedric Diggory be let to continue this long? Is his family in the mob? Why is this happening? Although, I have to admit, I was entranced by his magical hair, where unicorns and fairies come out to play. Also bad was the horrendous make up. Igh. I shall however, refrain myself from saying anything about the nonsensical plotline and inane scripts because I, for one, am not a movie elitist and has/will admit to have enjoyed watching precious crappola such as GI Jane, Shaun of the Dead and 2003's Italian Job. But they were bad, the scripts and storyline. I read somewhere that the script was written in 6 weeks. I say, with the gaping plot holes and gets-nowhere lines, it showed. And the special effects, GAH, 70's much?
But perhaps, my biggest beef with this movie was the unnatural amount of time showing extreme closeups of Cedric and Blanched Cauliflower a.k.a Bella just staring at each other. For the love of God. Seriously, people. They're in love, we get it. Is that supposed to be, what? artsy? deep? What am I missing here? I have to say that they're hardly coming across as entwined souls wordlessly conveying silent messages of love; instead they merely look sappy, neurotic and slightly cross-eyed.
I wont get started with how I find the movie to be very misogynistic and depressing (bite me and let me forsake everything in my life because I am in love with you, the "hunky", brooding vampire I've met for 3 seconds. In no way should this be perceived as a submissive and self sacrificing gesture I'm doing for a male because we're in love dammit. Also, when I say I shall love you forever and ever and ever, I am not being a psychotic, clingy bitch. Take note).
I fast forwarded 2/5 of the movie because certain scenes were very painful to watch. Like the badly portrayed fight sequence, and the hissing/posturing after the baseball scene, the baseball scene, all the scenes with the dad, all the scene with the vampire dad, the immediately accepting high school cliques scenes, also the prom scene was especially unsettling, and the biology labs scenes, etc. etc. I did enjoy it whenever the evil (evil because they do what vampires are supposed to do) vampires and the Cauliflower's hot Native Indian BFF gets their shine screen time, however small. Oh well, in utmost strife, I do try to find my small pleasure. Happy this is over though.
What?
A sequel?
Shoot me now and bring back the 80's. At least then all we had was Lestat.

Switch off your iPod and lets just do this for 2 hours without saying anything.

Wisdom is Boring

2009-03-11T18:23:00.006+08:00

Ooohh.. trying to consistently update this blog is hard. It's probably the getting older. Because as you age, you reprioritize.

Clearing your in-tray before trying to update your blog (just making my point).
Getting clothes from the dry cleaners are now more important than going to see a movie.
Buying shoes are now less important (blasphemy!) than making sure you don't double book yourself for two Ministry events/stuff at the same time.
Not picking up phone calls is now a hanging offense (it wasn't before, I only picked up calls when I felt like it).
Hanging out with real flesh and blood friends in real time over real food trumps updating whatever networking-website accounts and/or chatting online.
Calls over SMSes.
No more late night live football matches on work nights, sleep is essential to sanity.
Finishing the meeting's minute in 3 days beats going home at 6pm for the weekly Scrabble/Boogle/Monopoly/Risk/Congkak session with family (however painful).
Making sure you have the car is refueled every Sunday evening is definitely more important than going to that promising warehouse sale.
Paying all your bills before the 4th every month including this month regardless how tempted you want to buy that stupid iTouch on discount.
Buying handbags for storage space than only consider how good it looks on me.
Owning black court shoes (I hate myself).
Paying premium price for good food at a good place.
Making sure you're never out of phone credit at all time.
Making sure your shoes and your handbags match (I used just to rebel it out).
Buying that RM300 baju kurung batik over the divine RM100 casual sun dress (groan).
And ultimately, in bed by 10.30 pm is effing wajib okay? Nothing tops that, however pathetic/lame it may make me sound.

I suddenly realized that at least 3 items on the list makes me more..uncool. Dammit, I heard that getting old sucks. Now, this proves it. I'm off to listen to 'N SYNC (sad attempt to rejuvenate one's hipness. Wait, 'N SYNC is no longer cool? What? What do you mean that 'N SYNC was sadly never cool? The hell you say.. Fark it lah. I give up. So, I'm afraid I am now what I've always feared to be, a boring adult. What the hell lah. So what. I'm off to do my tax return..)

My New Year Post is from My Handphone 3 Months Too Late

2009-03-04T16:00:00.004+08:00

This blog is not dead. I have just been crazy busy with work. I know that's a weak excuse and there are other people out there who also has a job and could decently maintain their blog at the same time and I admire that. But I'm not like that, am not that good. But I am here now. We should be thankful for what we have now, not what we think we should have. But then, there's probably nothing we should be thankful about the return of me sharing inane nonsensical ramblings of my overly bland life, spouting self rightous drivel, absorbed in the the misconception that somebody other than I would give a damn what I think.
But the again, I've discovered that my life would be exponentialy happier if I continue my delluded imaginings that everything could be better if I just scream loud enough. What utter foolishness, you agree? What load of peanut butter crock, you say? Indeed. But I'm happier and I am all that matters.

Hahaha. It's (surprisingly) good to be back. Bring it on!

Off a Matchbox

2008-12-16T13:46:00.004+08:00

In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on: this person must be fired.

Halp!: I'm currently in the middle of a 17days workday stretch and I get to spend very single one of those with The Schizo Midget Bitch. Ain't life grand?

I Call It Survival

2008-12-05T16:34:00.004+08:00

~Meeting room, KPWKM.

Small Evil Boss Person "Bla bla bla bla blah"
Nella "Hum hum hum, do do do, ding dong, the witch is dead, hum hum"
Debbie "What are you doing?"
Small Evil Boss Person "Debbie, if you have something to say, you can share it with the whole room. No? Then please stop talking and pay attention to what I'm saying"
Debbie "Sorry, Datin"
Small Evil Boss Person "Bla bla bla bla blah"
Nella "Hum hum hum, do do do, we're off to see the wizard, hum hum"
Small Evil Boss Person "Bla bla bla bla blah"

*Meeting ends*

Debbie "What were you doing during the meeting?"
Nella "Whaa?"
Debbie "During the meeting, you were like, crazy focused and doing stuff on your laptop"
Nella "Heh heh. Wallpapering"
Debbie "Whaa?"
Nella "Heh heh. Tadaa"
Debbie "Dude. The Midget would be hella pissed if she ever finds out"
Nella "Heh heh"
Debbie "Cute though. Can I have it too?"
Nella "Heh heh"

FIN

Drop a House on Me Already

2008-12-04T12:59:00.004+08:00

I've heard news today from a friend about another mutual friend of ours. Good news. Excellent news, in fact. Friend A told me that Friend B got a new job with an awesome company and the pay is amazing. Friend A told me this and I said to Friend A that that is indeed great news. Because Friend B is a good friend. Friend B is kind, funny, loyal and cool. Friend B is also damn pretty, thin, has the greatest hot boyfriend ever and smart. So now Friend B is kind, funny, loyal, cool, damn pretty, thin, has the greatest hot boyfriend ever, smart, has a great job and rich.

I'm happy for Friend B, I really am. I want good things to happen to my friends and this, is what I wish for all my friends.

So, I know that I'm not a good person when I can't help feeling envious and bloody jealous for Friend B.

I can't help it. I know I should be happy for her but I can't. God help me, I just can't. Like I said, I know I should be thankful that something great is happening to somebody nice but all I can feel is this overwhelming feeling of envy.

It got worse when I unconsciously tried to justify this evil feeling with ungracious thoughts. Like maybe Friend B wont like the job, or Friend B'd have a terrible boss and reminding myself with the fact that Friend B's relationship with Friend B's family is not good.

What the hell, man?

I hate it that I'm apparently petty and shallow and insincere. I hate it that I can't just be happy for a friend. I hate that I'm jealous someone is doing better than I am. I hate it that I need to remind myself of the bad things so that I'd stop feeling jealous. Why can't I just be happy for my friend? Do I want something bad to happen to these people I care about? Why do I need to force myself to feel happy about these things? What does that say about me? That all this while I think I'm better than others? What kind of a crappy friend am I? At that, what kind of person?

Not a good one, obviously. So now, I'm jealous, I'm feeling bad that I'm feeling jealous, I'm appalled with myself and with my behaviour and now I know for a fact that I am not a good person.

A colleague advised me to calm down and pergi ambil wudhu'. Helped a bit. That and this ranting I'm doing.
How do you deal with the fact that essentially you're not a good human being?

Flowers, Rejected

2008-11-27T10:24:00.004+08:00

Earlier last week I received a small bouquet of flowers from this one person I know, we'll call him Skid. I made the delivery guy take the flowers back. The following phone conversation ensued:

Nella "Hello"
Skid "You gave my flowers back"
Nella "Skid?"
Skid "Yes, it's me. You didn't take my flowers. You gave it back"
Nella "Yes, I did give it back"
Skid "You knew it was from me?"
Nella "Yes"
Skid "But you gave it back anyways?"
Nella "Yes I did"
Skid "You didn't like the flowers?"
Nella "The flowers were lovely, Skid. Those were really nice flowers"
Skid "But you gave it back anyways?"
Nella "Again, yes I did"
Skid "..."
Nella "Do you want to know why?"
Skid "Of course I want to know why. Why the fuck would you reject my flowers to you?"
Nella "Because - "
Skid "You told me you fucking like flowers!"
Nella "I love flo-"
Skid "You fucking told me you like getting surprises!"
Nella "I did say-"
Skid "So, what the hell, man? Those were fucking flowers I sent and it was a surprise. What the fuck, man? It's fucking insulting. You are such a bitch! How can you reject my flowers?"
Nella "Are you done? I like flowers and I like surprises. What I don't like is getting flowers from assholes, which you are, Skid. I saw wh-"
Skid "What do-"
Nella "I'm not done so shut up. How do I make this clear? I don't like you. So, I felt it was unfair to take flowers from you. Because I was being nice. And because I really don't like you. I don't want to have anything to do with you, ever. This includes receiving flowers from you. I don't like you and I don't want your flowers. Clear? So stop that irritating whining and leave me alone."
Skid "You don't even know me, you bitch"
Nella "What a freaking loser. Listen, I know you enough to not want your flowers, okay? So, go cry to yo-"
Skid *slam phone*
Nella "Dang, and I had such a good line to finish. Retard betul"

I know what Skid is thinking, like Tucker Max would say, I'm probably too ugly to have this much self respect. Snort. But I do and dude, I believe by rejecting his gift in the first place I've one-upped him to the power of infinity.
Hah. Burned!

Like You Need a Lobotomy

2008-11-13T17:22:00.006+08:00

Imagine this.

Did you ever joined a club when you were in school? Remember that. Imagine that now. A club of something. A club for, say, engineering. An engineering club.
So, you're in this club, right? So, the president of your engineering club wants to do something and he/she wants you and everyone to help. She/He wants to build something you think is stupid, like, a helicopter that goes underwater. He/She thinks this invention would help save the world, cure cancer and eliminate global starvation. You know she/he only wants it built so that he/she could take joyrides in it and use it for her/his own personal shopping trips crossing the Selat Melaka, to Bandung.
You thinks building a helicopter that goes underground is stupid but being a member of this club, you have no choice but to help her/him build this thing.
Then you found out that the school is funding this stupid project. The stupid project you're helping her/him do.
Then you found out that besides the underwater helicopter, he/she is also planning to build other stupid, useless things, things like a diskette holder for fish and a biscuit coaster for biscuits and computer mouse made of jelly.
All to be paid by the school. And it's costing the school something like RM800,000 for these projects your idiotic engineering club president are doing.
Which you're helping him/her with.
It doesn't matter you're probably only helping to do 2% of the overall work because essentially it still means you're involve in this wonderful exercise of taking the school's money and churning crap out of it.
How can you not be pissed? How can you not be totally incensed when you know he/she is charging RM500 for a piece of wall brace? RM5000 for laundry? RM17,000 daily rental for a crane? Why would you want a crane?
And who the hell wants a jelly mouse?
But you still have to do it. However stupid, inane, crappy, shit-for-brains, effed up you think this whole shebang is, you still have to do your job.
Which is super for your stress levels. Do the job you hate, for the person you despise and at something you disapproved. Why the hell not, right?
Then you found out that the school is charging everyone extra RM50 fee to make up for the huge expense the engineering club is tallying up.
Hoo-farking-ray.

I am not making this up. You know what I mean, right?
Tell me you do. Please. Tell me you got what I really meant. Oh Lord, what if you don't? What if you think we all need biscuit coasters? Because we don't right? Do we?
*hyperventilate*

What Are You?

2008-11-05T20:13:00.006+08:00

Happy:

Congratulations President Obama.

Please be the American President the world needs right now, thank you.

Read his speech after winning the race here.

See how that doesn't give you goosebumps.

Not happy:

How this stupid blog is turning out.

Dammit man, I'm too old to fiddle around with scripts.

Lazy:

Is I right now.

The World is Just..Awesome

2008-10-30T16:46:00.003+08:00

I love the whole world
It's such a brilliant place
Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da

Song lyrics : Discovery Channel; I love the world
Picture : Own, driving back from ~~hell~~ work

Work has been just brutal. Needed a heads up to remind me that life is worth living and why I should suppress that suicidal and/or homicidal feelings I have. I love that Discovery Channel song. I listen to it and feel my aneurysms fade away. My left temple would stop ticking. I love rainbows too. I could look at rainbows all day.

Unfortunately, all the soothing in the world can not help me from getting massive cluster headaches when looking up at the towering heights of paperwork I need to do trembling gently in the breeze. Add a psychopath midget yelling maniacally next to that, and I tell you, I could be swimming in a sea of lithium, soaked in rainbows, listening to serene murmurs of the cloistered peace monks of Nepal and cradled naked in the comforting bosom of mother earth herself and I would still have an anxiety attack every time I wake up and realized I have to go to work..

Lord, I'm too young to lose my mind.

What Would You Teach A Mynah Bird

2008-10-28T21:56:00.004+08:00

Azzard (my cousin) had a mynah bird once named Bird (very original, right?) Bird was a delightful bundle of feathers. He could talk. Azzard taught him things to say and whenever we visit we would say (yell) our favorite phrases for Bird to repeat. Among the many delightful things he would screech was "I twot I thaw a puddy cat!", "Beam me up, Scotty" and "Hello Bird". Bird died and Azzard replaced him with a cat named, you've guessed it, Cat.

Got me to think, what would I teach a mynah bird to say, should I have one (which I probably never would). The thing about teaching birds to talk is that they pick up words and say them at the weirdest time. More often than not, in front of company. So, I came up with this list of what I want my bird (the hypothetical one I am not getting) to say:

Du~de! (I overuse this word like you wont believe)
Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
D'oh!
Jam for beavers.
Don't make me go there and smack you across your face. (I say this a lot)
Resistance is futile.
Re-for-ma-si! Re-for-ma-si!
No soup for you!
Say, you ever watched that movie 'The Birds' by Hitchcock?

What would you teach a mynah bird to say?

Rooming With A Stranger

2008-10-23T09:44:00.005+08:00

Dear Stranger I'm Rooming With,

Hi. Seems like we're stuck with each other for a while, eh? I don't know you and you don't know me but we're about to share and see each other doing intimate stuff. Maybe you should know that I'm prepared to like you. I'm a pretty likable girl myself, I like to think. But also at that, I'm also prepared to think you're crap.

One thing I ask, since we're now sharing a bathroom, is that keep the floor dry. Please. This is very important. It's not okay have any water on the floor. Because I will do everything I can and have to, to keep the bathroom floor dry. I will harass housekeeping into giving us an extra floor towel. I will get (and stay) on your case until you get this right. And should I ever find the floor wet after you using the toilet, I will gladly use your bath towel to wipe the water on the floor, around the commode and on the walls. I'm not kidding. I made it abundantly clear the floor has to be dry at all time. I even made up that ridiculous story about having bad balance and mortal fear of slipping on wet tiles. I lied because I was being nice. So if you can't follow this one rule, I will straight out say to your face that how damn kampung or stupid (it's not exclusive) can you be not to know how to use the toilet and keep the floor dry at the same time? Seriously. And wipe the damn counter tops too when you're fucking done too, please.

And yes, stranger I'm rooming with, I bathe a lot. Especially before bed. I like being clean when I sleep. But I also understand that some people still struggle with issues of their hygiene even when they are 30 years old.

It is not weird to unpack and put all clothes in the drawers either, stranger I'm rooming with. I do that if I'm staying for more than one night. You correctly assume I do this because I like to avoid clothes getting crumpled. But I also do this so that I wont have my clean clothes and dirty laundry in one cramped, airless bag. So, you may well take heed of this, that when I have one piece of shirt stinking of BO, my clean clothes are not being infused by it when I shoved it into a small space together.

I watch a lot of TV. Whenever I can. I hog the remote too. This I am not ashamed to admit. This is where communication is needed. Tell me if you want to watch something else. I may (or may not) compromise. I believe I am a peaceful TV watcher and will always mute the volume when you're praying. I also believe I watch interesting stuff. I appreciate you approving my choices of TV programmes. I am happy to be the person to introduce you to the joy of watching Mythbuster, Dirty Jobs and Man vs. Wild. But stop talking when I'm watching. I do not need to hear your comments on anything regarding the show we are now watching together. This is where communication is absolutely not needed. Shut up and just watch the show. While we're at that, even if you can't understand what they're showing while I'm watching ESPN, the shut the fuck up rule still applies.

Stay out of my toiletries bag. And just because you asked, the reason I have sunblock in the bag is because I use this one toiletries bag for all my travels. It has everything I think I need for when I travel. Sometimes, where I go may require me slathering sunblock. Not this time though. The existence of that tube of SPF50 sunblock in my zipped toiletries bag does not dictate my desire to swim in the hotel pool. I applaud your use of brain to deduct this, Sherlock, but unfortunately this is not true. And again, if you ever touch my stuff, I will whoop your ass.

So okay, inasmuch as I detest asking you for anything, I need to borrow your prayer mat. Don't act so surprise that I know and execute this necessity of a Muslim to perform the 5 prayers a day. Your surprise insults me. And I don't really need your prayer mat, I could always use the spare bath towel and even better, I could just have housekeeping send one up. I understand how a shallow person such as yourself may conform your mind to stereotype people as it is easier than keeping an open mind, but I really do know what I am doing and you should stop acting so fucking astonished that one such as I can actually solat normally. You know what, keep your mat, I'm calling housekeeping.

I like quiet time to myself. For this may surprise many, I enjoy some alone time just doing things I enjoy i.e. reading, messing around on my laptop, watching TV. So, stranger I'm rooming with, you may find me in this room we share more often than not when I don't have to be anywhere else. Feel free to leave me alone. I am not lonely. I am not in need of you filling up the silence. I like the silence. I don't feel the same about you. Usually I would spare some time getting to know the new people I meet, for I am a pretty friendly person, as I have mentioned and I like talking and getting to know people better. But seeing how there's completely nothing about you that does not irritate the hell out of me, I don't want to talk to or with you. I'm sorry you only get to see my splendidferous stuck up bitch side for I do have a more lovelier side I present to normal people. But you had your chance and you blew it when you bathed a spasmodic whale on the bathroom floor on the first day we started rooming together.

Lastly, dear stranger I'm rooming with, you'd notice that I use the shower cap when I shower. I would leave the shower cap on the hook next to the hairdryer on the vanity. Should you feel like sharing that, go ahead. Just don't let me know. But if you're not using it, leave it fucking well alone. Getting the shower cap wet in the inside is not cool. At all. Why are you playing with my shower cap, in any case? Can you get any weirder? Do you need special attention I should know of? If you want something to play, play with my razor. Slide the top part on your wrists. Look at the pretty red liquid gushing out. Just make sure to do it in the tub. I still wont tolerate wet tiles. Even by blood.

So there. I can't say I'm happy to meet you, stranger I'm rooming with. I am sure though that you'll be no less of a stranger to me when we part ways then when we we first meet. I wish you all the best and all the wet toilet tiles you ever wish.

Sincerely,
Nella
Room 618, Concorde, Shah Alam

Good

2008-10-17T15:24:00.002+08:00

Green tea with Sprite.
Sounds like a fright,
But tastes so good.
Better believe it, dood.

What's Normal for Me..

2008-10-16T09:28:00.007+08:00

Warning: this is one long ass post.

Okay, I realized the previous post shows too much of my Raya Grinch-ness. To be fair, my Raya wasn't so bad. Pretending that you want to know (and since I have the whole Eid picture folder on me right now), I shall regale you with my exploits during the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Raya, in parts. Brace yourself (for lameness-esque).

Day Uno

Raya Pertama di rumah bonda,
Rumah bonda di ibu kota,
Nak buat camne, saya memang tinggal di sana,
Nak balik kampung, ramai dah mati pula.

After slaving away the day before Raya to get the house ready (which deserves a whole different post), we woke up early and had our teary, emotional bersalamsalaman session before we went to pray at the Masjid Belakang Bukit together(bukan nama di sign board). As usual, I would be sleep deprived and would maintain my shameful tradition of sleeping through the 2 khutbahs.

Home, breakfast and the annual first visit from our neighbour, Uncle Lan and his whole brood. We would be the only 2 Malay families left in whole Lorong during Raya time. Soon after they left, we were decended by my dad's sister and his family. More food being served, more dishes to do. Sorry, just have to put that in.

Then our two families left for my dad's uncle's house. This was where I got my only duit Raya. Yay dad's uncle!

Again, our two families moved to Kajang to visit my dad's other sister's house (he has 8 of them, don't ask). Since this sister also married my mom's brother (confusing you?), us cousins are pretty close.

After which, my family (ditched the first aunt's family) and left with this new aunt's family to go to my mom's brother's house which is also in Kajang.

Later we maintained formation and went on to visit my dad's other sister's house in Sepang. This is where we regrouped with the first aunt on top of my dad's other sister. Basically, Sepang was over flowing with my dad's sisters. If you were keeping tabs (and you should), there've been 4 aunts altogether. In one Raya day.

So, what do you do at relatives houses when you come visit the during first day of Raya?

You eat. My dad sleeps.
Nom. Nom. Nom.

Snore.

You take and pose for loads and loads and loads and loads of pictures.
See that behemoth of a man on the left? Behind him, totally eclisped by his girth, is my brother and a cousin. Damn, you're huge Abah.

Dammit, people. We should be able to get this right already.

You eat somemore.
Nom. Nom. Nom.

You take more goofy, unnecessary pictures.
Themed photo.
Left to right: I'm confused, I want to play with the big cousins, I overact, I'm boring, I'm actually posing.

You be merry.
What's so funny, Maksu? We are. Yes, we are. We are hilarious.
Everybody: 'Yes, we are, aren't we?'
Hilarity ensued.

Of course, there's the bersalaman and bermaafan.
100% posed.

Best looking cousin couldn't pass up a photo op. He's cute though, right?
He's 15, you perverts. Sheesh.

Day one of Raya for me ended at 1.04 am. It wasn't all torture, I have to admit.

My Raya and I Care About Yours.

2008-10-09T15:42:00.010+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya! Maaf Zaher Batin.
How was yours?
Mine?Never ending chores, obnoxious relatives, endless travel, violation of diet, non stop gabbing, unfamiliar beds, infinite squabbling, perpetual fund depleting and constantly pretending I'm joyously feeling the Raya spirit.

3rd Day of Eid, at our Kuantan hideout. Fast becoming less amused with the whole holiday idea and fast running outta Raya garbs.

..in our family potrait, we looked pretty happy, we looked pretty normal...

Postscript: Who blogs on Raya anyways? What kind of loser existence do you live to want to blog on Raya? Or even 2nd day of Raya, at that? Even I'm not that big of a loser.

Postscript: Lost 1.5 kgs during the fasting month. Yay. Gained 2kgs in 2 days of Raya. Die.

Vanity, Thy Name is Woman

2008-09-22T11:59:00.003+08:00

My favorite stylist, Tommy, apparently has left the hair salon I frequent.
And since my hair is a disaster, I'm in quite a tizzy right now.

What now, brown cow.

Off with the Old

2008-09-04T08:56:00.007+08:00

Said a few "hullo"s and a few more "guidbye"s this coupla weeks.

My bestest office buddy got transferred to Seremban. Office would be unbearable now. Oh waily, waily, waily.

That's her in green next to me. We're drinking to her escape from Hell. The unsuspecting Debbie (in purple on the other side of me), is her replacement, newly arrived from the warehouse and has no flaming idea what kind of twisted, horror movie she's now the lead cast in.

Welcomed a new supervisor (the old one voided her warranty and therefore had to be replaced). Am very content with my fresh from the box supervisor. It seems because of her many and somewhat dubious connections (not explaining), the Midget Schizo Witch a.k.a the big boss is a little erm, cautious in dealing out her normal shit to new supervisor. Yay.

Farewell to a friend who's off to have a blast on a three (THREE!) weeks vacation in Spain. Green. Jealous. Only I'm not really happy that he got to go and I'm stuck here so this farewell is like a fraction of a full farewell. Cheap imitation of what a real farewell will be like. Go play in traffic la, Ed. But don't forget my matador lithograph, ok.

Said hello to a new member of the extended A.O Bintang family. Cousin Deedy got married last month. Welcome Reena, we really hope you don't find out the truth about the circus you got yourself married into.
You can't really see the pengantin because that green blob brother of mine is blocking the bride. But you can see Deedy in his purple suit. Try living that down, cousin. Hahaha.

However, we are also saying Auf wiedersehen (we don't really say that. I had to google to find out how that's spelt) because soon both newlyweds are moving to San Jose.

Bought a new watch. It was on 20% discount. Sweet.

Dad replaced the cassette player in my car with a CD player. Way to catch up with technology, huh? It got embarrassing when the younger nieces and nephews genuinely didn't know what a cassette was. When I told them it's a box of string decoration for Christmas trees they took it literally. Only it wasn't a Christmas tree, it was the pokok bunga kertas depan rumah. Ah youth.

Afzan had a baby boy. I'm delirious for her.
Haven't seen nor touch the youngling yet.

Dad also got a brand new JVC HDD video camera for the house. Who cares it's probably 27 years and 100 family trips too late?

Lastly, not leastly, I'm saying "ta" to the last 25 years of my glorious life.

And saying "harlo harlo" to indeterminate more awesome years ahead! Wha hae!
Crivens. Quarter of a century old, I am.

Hell in a Handbasket

2008-08-29T10:50:00.004+08:00

Read this. Malay version here.

Take the time to savor the utter hilarity of Part IV; Clause 13(7) and Part VI Clause 24 of the Act. (Page 18 and 24).

Tell me how this is not a fuckfest of the highest order. Go ahead. Just try.

Which kindergarten retard drafted this bill? Did he write in red crayon or blue? I bet he can't even pronounce DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID without a visual aid and nap time.

And it's your problem too.
For your information, this Bill of Act is on the super fast track. The August Hall of Malaysian Parliament has already denied the request for the Bill to be studied further by a Special Committee (where after sometime a flawed Bill will be put to right/rest) and has announced the Second Reading to be had soon.
Soon (before you even know it) this will be a f.u.b.a.r worthy of it's own feature movie, a limited edition duvet set and an island named after it. Whatever island we have left not lost to Singapore, that is.

Fucking A.

Straighten Up and Fly Right

2008-08-19T21:13:00.002+08:00

My life, as it is, is in complete shambles. I know this and I don't like it.
Things are to be done to overcome this. Measures.
I know this also.
Control needs to be asserted back into getting my life back in line.
I know this too.
I should do the asserting of control back in my life so that it will be shamble-free.
I am aware of this.
The problem is, should it be, I find myself simply..
TOO FUCKING LAZY.

"laziness is not a bad thing because- you figure it out yourself lah"

Lady Noisemaker

2008-07-22T09:38:00.006+08:00

Have you ever met somebody who you think is just..noisy?
Not talkative-noisy, I don't mean chatty. Chatty is fine. Talkative is alright. (Eff off, Lizzam. I'm perfect)
Just noise-ful. Full of noise. A noisemaker.

I met such a person last week. At a meeting. Which is not a suitable place to be a noise-ful person. But she was.
How should I describe her?
She didn't say anything (which goes with what I said about talk-noisy versus noiseful-noisy)
But she constantly emitted various sounds that was not necessary. i.e. noises.
She jangled. She jingled. She banged. She clicked. She clanged. She clinked. She slurped. She buzzed. She was a bloody Onomatopoeia.
And she sat next to me.
I understand she created all these noises involuntarily. But it got irritating to hear the cacophony of the sounds she created nonetheless. Everything she did and everything on her would just screamed and hissed and barked. Her bangles, her wheezing breath, her chewing, her vibrating hand phone with some sort of small bells accessories, her handbag which she would not stop reaching into, her frequent shifting on the chair, her weird rattling pen with dangly bits, the lip smacking thing she did every 5 seconds, her loud bajukurung with the even louder scarf..EVERYTHING! She was this tempest of constant noises. Nothing about her was quiet. Nothing was restful. I swear, even her blinking was an auditory assault.

I came out of the meeting jittery as a junkie hamster made from coffee and found myself refraining from making any conversation with anyone for the next 5 hours. I needed my quiet. Lord, did I ever.

This is not her. But she was as noisy. Noisier, even. Stupid pig.

What Do You Call a Happy Burger?

2008-06-25T18:30:00.002+08:00

This post is also titled; Spring Cleaning My Phone Camera Album Because I Take Crappy and the Most Ridiculous Pictures of the Weirdest Stuff.

Tell me if that's not a gorgeous looking plate of grub.
This was my highly aesthetic and very appetizing plate during Ed's Western cookout some time back. We had steak, salad, steamed veges and mashed taters. Good food.
I make awesome mashed potatoes and salad, I don't mind saying so myself.

This is my perfect Saturday ~~morning~~ afternoon.
Tak mandi, in my jammies, playing scrabble by myself with LoTR full volume on the TV, ignoring the piles of laundry that requires folding in the background.
Throw in a Stephen Fry in a James Denton body with Eddie Izzard humor and Jon Stewart wit, I could die happy.
I'll have two of those, thanks. With fries.

This is the view from my cubicle. Sunsets are lovely and I rate my day according to how many squirrels I can see running around before I finish my coffee.

But then again, the boss crazy-o-meter trumps any squirrel, regardless how many. The windows could be splattered with squirrels and I still would have a crummy day thanks to that monster.

So yeah, what do you call a happy burger?

Bergembira!
Har har har.
This joke would be lost on you if you don't speak Malay and have no sense of humor and have no pants that is made out of jam.

Made my day.

2008-06-17T14:37:00.004+08:00

We've fully evolved from Single-Cell Organism, right?
So I should put in Multiple Cell, right?
So tempted.

Damn, this made me spurt water all over my keyboard.

Put my head down and cry

2008-06-16T08:41:00.004+08:00

It's Monday and I came in work 20 minutes late.
I haven't had time to make my coffee.
I already have the meetings minutes that I've had to redo 6 times ready because I was supposed to send them to the boss's office last week, my supervisor just dropped a 330 (three hundred and thirty) pages UNESCO Budget report on my desk asking me to an executive summary by Friday, and about 6 other various letters for me to attend to; on top of the menstrual cramps.
It was father's day yesterday and it didn't go well.
Because (and only because) my browser's start-up page is the Postsecret Blog, I went for quick read through before starting on work.
I (almost) cried when I read this postcard.

Happy Belated Father's Day, Abah.
I'm sorry and I love you.

Let's get me some coffee now, shall we?
Blubbering, hormonal, emo mess is not a good look on me.

Damaged Goods (part II)

2008-06-11T10:58:00.005+08:00

Part I is here. As if you cared la, kan?

I'm asking this question to all my friends. To my married friends. To my newly engaged friend. To my friends who are in a relationship. To my hot single friends. The question is;

What was the first thing you thought of when your significant other asked you to marry him/her?

This is a serious question and I want to know your answers.

To Afzan, when your husband popped the question. To Ati, even though it wont be any time soon (your words) but surely you've had talks with MrBF. To Lyn, it should be fairly recent, considering, right? To Kaydotte and Tim and Ida; answers based on your vast past/current experiences. To Lizzam, that thought before you got on one knee and asked. To everyone, when it happened or at least the moment you know marriage is/was a definite possibility.

What was the first thing that came to mind?
Your first instinctive thought. Your chemical reaction to the idea.

I'm asking because mine was to immediately think (each word was branded to my brain from the experience) : But there are so many things I haven't done yet!

Second thought was : Is he serious? My, that's flattering.

Third thought : It's too soon. I'm nowhere near ready to end my life.

Fourth thought : It's not the 'end' of anything, you idiot. It's marriage. You're supposed to be happy he asked. You're supposed to get married. You're getting embarrassingly too old to be not be married already.

Fifth thought : Oh yeah. Sorry..But to him? Eww.

Sixth thought : I should be grateful, right? Dammit. Feel grateful. Now.

Seventh thought : It's hard to feel anything over the overwhelming feeling of dread. I imagine this is how I'd feel if someone told me I'm going to die tomorrow.

Eighth thought : Who am I kidding. I don't want to be married. Not yet. Too soon. I have stuff I want to do.

Ninth thought : Yeah. No shit.

He asked me to marry him.
It was a valid question, albeit unexpected. He was totally justified in asking. We are both old enough, attracted to each other enough, economically sound enough, smart enough, from a good enough family and would suit each other well enough.

It didn't bother me too much to have to say no.

It bothered me more to have that first thought as my first thought.

Caffeine Zombie

2008-06-10T08:38:00.006+08:00

Waking up for work everyday at the ungodly hours of 6.15 am, I find myself unbearably grouchy and unsuited in a civilized capacity when I'm at the office until about noon. Also, I would be sleepy despite the mountainous amount of work to be done. After a week being a walking, half awake, time bomb, I resorted to drinking a cup of coffee in the morning. It helped. Of course it would. I was afraid of exactly that, actually.

My long history with coffee started in 2000, about the time I started working for Starbucks (big surprise huh?). I became a semi-junkie then but it wasn't really bad. I needed coffee but was still considerably functional without. I had to stop the habit when I started Matrix in 2001, mainly because my supply of free coffee ended but also because the story of another barista at Starbucks getting a severe stomach ulcer due to his heavy coffee drinking (2 carafes every morning, noon, evening and night) scared the beans out of me. Quitting coffee wasn't easy, nor was it especially hard. I just switched to Coca Cola instead. Har har. Same shit, different day. What was weird was my caffeine addiction got increasingly bad when I was hooked on Coke as opposed to when I was drinking it in latte form. At my worst, I would drink two 1.5 liters bottles in one night (I was cramming for a final).

This went on until I was in Uni. Off coffee completely, but Coke junkie, big time. It got so bad that I began slicing myself, spending all my money on it and doing everything just to get my next fix. Before I knew it I was living in a cardboard box in the streets, begging for drug money from people, not knowing where or what day it was. My ruin, was complete... KIDDING.

But it got bad enough that my mom had to conspire behind me with my roommates to make sure I wasn't drinking too much if it. I guess it got bad enough that the addiction had to be managed. It worked. Slowly, I weaned off that stuff. Still dabbled with it some time but not as bad. Yay me. Hello healthy kidneys.

So back to my current working conditions. Coffee every morning now. I was worried that I could be falling off the wagon so yesterday (after 1 solid month of drinking coffee every morning, 5 days a week) I put myself to the test, and I jumped off the deep end too. The most extreme condition imaginable; Monday morning, first day back after a long school holiday, I refused myself coffee. The verdict? Bloody hell. Tie me up, drench me in glue and roll me in hay; I am officially off the wagon!

Had withdrawal, bad. I was so sleepy and useless, I managed to finish one fifth of what was on my to do list, and there were only three things to do. You do the math. Also, I could barely contained myself from snapping everyone's heads off for no apparent reason other than their mistake to assume I'm a fully developed humanoid capable of taking control of my homicidal tendencies. And me minus coffee on a rampage would not discriminate (read: includes bosses and superiors). Not a very smart career move. Suicidal, even, yes? So today I'm back to ingesting my usual dosage of stomach lining drano. The only bright side to all this mess is that the Aik Cheong coffee in a bag I'm taking probably only contains 2% coffee. Yeah, I take what I can.

Lord. I'm so weak. So so weak. *curls up into a ball and cries next to the hot water dispenser*

I Heart Penang

2008-06-04T09:36:00.002+08:00

After almost 20 years, I returned to Penang for a brief sojourn last Sunday. And man, it was nothing short of amazing rediscovering Penang. I thought of writing at length, waxing lyrical about the whole experience, but then again, I'm crazy busy and when you have 15 letters pending your attention, it's hard to get inspiration to write anything.

But I loved Penang. And I hope to go back for a longer stay. And I'm eternally grateful to Kailan and Eelin for lugging me around town. And to Ida for meeting up with me and introducing me to your fiance.

I should elaborate but I can't. For the time being, I take everything bad I ever said about Penang cause Penang is awesome!

Catching up on life

2008-05-23T18:03:00.006+08:00

My first real job (Starbucks barista doesn't count), I basically did nothing for 2 whole years. They hired me, gave me a laptop, a cubicle and a fancy title. I was the Business Development Executive. I had nothing to do. No sales target, no portfolios, no performance report. Nada. But they paid my salary, gave me a brand new laptop when the old one went bust, gave me the usual bonuses, the works. Except they didn't. They forgot to give me something to do. And I was happy, as you can rightly imagine. I did some typing and research work for my boss, threw in some opinions and lame ideas for the business expansion plan, that was about it. Sometime I helped some other colleagues with their work. Mostly my time there was filled with downloading numerous movies and t.v shows, net browsing, reading thousands upon thousands eBooks (downloaded illegally) and quietly not being too obvious that I'm doing nothing.
But even from the start I know I had to get out of that place. As ideal as the situation seemed, I realized I was wasting the peak years of my work career doing nothing. I realized I wasn't growing, in fact I was veloping myself (the opposite of developing). I whined about it all the time. Really, I did. Go ahead. Ask anyone. And I also knew that the sweet deal (get paid doing nothing) can't possibly last. One day the management might wise up and I prefer to be long gone before that. It might not be anytime soon, but you never know.
So I left that job for this one. And oh boy, when it rains, it pours. Work. Is. Crazy. To top it all off, the heavens was kind enough to bestow upon me the gift of a hobbit Nazi boss with a Napoleon complex. Oh joy. And so the whining continues. Go ahead. Ask anyone. Hoho.
But as one friend candidly (with zero trace of sarcasm) stated when I was in the midst of my work lament, "So, you're having fun la eh? I can tell you're having fun,"; and I guess I am having a tiny, weeny, itsy, bitty, puny, tad, wee, bit of fun juggling the work load meant for 4 pack mules. No, seriously. Because, and I mean this, it's good to feel needed, to be necessary. And because it's nice to know you're earning your pay. It's fun to feel the rush chasing that impossible deadline. It's great to make calls for other reason than to tell mom I'm having dinner out. It's awesome to sign on that dotted line in some important letter my staff made (which I had them redo 3 times, I was being nice, ok?). It's wonderful to speak up in a meeting about something. It's down right near orgasmic running the last spell check on that report I laboriously been working since 9am and submitting it to the boss. It's fucking fantabulous knowing the decisions I make would mean something to the ministry. Power rocks. So hell yeah, I'm having fun. Surprised? As was I.

Just don't tell anyone.
And they need to pay my salary already. Seriously. I'm fudging broke and I don't do poverty very well. What the hell is taking them so long? Retards running the ministry, I tell you.
(There, I ended this post with a whine, balance is restored)

Work

2008-05-17T11:12:00.003+08:00

My boss is the devil's incarnate. Working with her is ongoing the tortures through all the 7 levels of hell, on loop. Shall tell all about it but for now I have to fend off the hell hounds.

Dear Mak

2008-05-11T18:46:00.005+08:00

It's mother's day and unlike every other year you might think this year's celebration sucks because instead of our customary ice-cream cake from BR, I only bought you a tub of Wall's Vanilla ice-cream. Instead of me making breakfast for you, I woke up late and you had to make them for me. Instead of a special, well thought of, nicely wrapped present presented with my usual gravitas and aplomb, I told you the 3kg of mangos I bought at the pasar malam yesterday and dumped on your lap in their shiny plastic bag is my mother's gift to you this year.

And yet, you're okay with it.

And yet, you laughed through the day and reminded me to wish my aunties happy mother's day too.

And yet, you were the one who said it's alright for me to give you this crappy mother's day celebration and you understand the situation (that being me deprived of 3 months salary)

So Happy Mother's Day, Mak. I love you more than you know and I wish you know that I think you're cooler than any other moms I know. I'm sorry I'm such a deplorable daughter but I hope you know that I'm trying to be better for you. And I hope you enjoy the surprise bouquets of 1 dozen roses, 1 dozen lilies and 1 dozen carnations I arranged to have sent to your school tomorrow.

Have a good one and may Allah bless you.

Kissis and Hugsus,

Ila
-yor adorable dotter-

TIME's 100 Most Influential

2008-05-02T14:59:00.004+08:00

Have you heard?

Our very own Anwar Ibrahim made the Time's 100 World's Most Influential People list. And he's ranked ninth! How about that. Not too shabby, eh? While being Malaysian and the first to admit his sheer influence over our country's recent political structure renovation *cough*PAS*cough*PKR*cough*; it's strangely more exhilarating to know that the rest of the world thinks the same. Deservedly so. He was the Leonidas, showing the ever haughty `B&N (Xerxes) that they're not invisible, they are not infallible, they are accountable, they too can bleed. The Immortals, we put their name to the test.. (300 binge last night, sorry). Finding out he made the list (have I said he's ranked number 9?!), I felt the real pride of national achievement. Which I didn't feel even when we sent our first space tourist* ~~for a vacation~~ to space. Or any of the numerous previous, highly celebrated, so-called pencapaian negara (read: useless expeditions to the North/South Pole, swimming the Eng-fricking-lish Channel, Everest, etc etc). Yet, finding out Anwar Ibrahim made number 9 on this list, I felt real national pride. Last I felt this way was when the Malaysia team won Amazing Race Asia I. Heh.
And he ranked 9th, you know. Way ahead Oprah (22). After Barrack, Hilary and The Dalai Lama(okay, I'll give). After George Dubya too (well, idiots needs influential leaders too, I guess). Ninth! Even omnipotent Brad and Angelina is way back on number 21 (it is the Time's List).

For the rest of your ignoramus, here's some links on the Number 9 on Time's List the World Most Influential People. Anwar Ibrahim on Wiki and the Time's Article.

* for the last 2 days the news have been showing places in Malaysia namely Pahang and Sepang that are without the basic amenities of electricity and running water. They don't have electricity and clean tap water (yeah, sounds ridiculous the second time around too). Let's send some other useless schmuck to space, why don't we. Spend another million or so on that.

Happy Earth Day!

2008-04-22T21:20:00.005+08:00

It's Earth Day, and being the tree hugger that I am, I am proud to say that I played my part and chipped in some extra help to conserve the environment today. Today, I went online shopping. Hurrah. How could that remotely helped anyone, you asked? Well, I online. shopped. ..I see I probably need to draw this out for you, eh?
You see, when I spend ~~too much~~ money online instead of the normal physical transaction, I use less paper. Less paper for printing money on since I only pay electronically and less paper for the non existent receipt also less paper for the paperbag I don't use. (Yes, they'll still have to use paper to wrap the stuff they'll post to me later but I did say I'm helping the environment today, didn't I? And they promised to used recycled paper. Earth still wins) Less paper, less trees cut down, greener earth, happy earth. Ta dah.
You're welcome, earth.

But seriously though, little things you could do to help around;

refuse plastic/paper bags when purchasing things. If it's small enough to carry or to put in your handbag, you don't need the bags anyway right?
try to practice using shopping bags (the reusable cloth/canvas/sturdy plastic ones)when buying groceries. I have heaps. I could give you one if you want. Avoid using the thin bags that you can only use once. Do you have any idea how long it takes to degrade that stuff. Bring your own bag to the market. Make sure you have some old newspapers to wrap the wet, gooey, icky stuff.
print both sides of paper (sounds easy but harder to put into practice)
register for online accounts for credit cards, banks, etc. This means less paper are used to print for statements/bills every months.
care more about your purchase. Do not support companies/product that aren't environment friendly or in non degradable packaging.
just fucking recycle. I think the ozone hole is a good size now for you to start, no?
reuse, don't refuse. Donate things before chucking them out. Waste management is a serious problem.

Happy Earth Day, Y'All!

Missed out on some hilarious Rudy and JJ Earth Day Special show this morning. Bummer. Hope they'll re-air.

The Gloody Letter That Comes After 'A' and Hefore 'C'

2008-04-15T16:31:00.005+08:00

Am at work, first day at my new jot. I got the department I (so holdly) asked for. They gave me a very nice cunicle with a view. Went on the intro-tour of whole juilding. Met arout 6 millions people and smiled until my cheeks cramped. So far, I'm liking it. People are nice. The offices (there are 6 levels of it) are really nice; the minister's and the high level officers' offices are frankly meyond awesome. And to top it all off, I'm hoping for this department (which I so fervently asked repeatedly for) would live up to it's name and I get to join the fun. Nut for the meantime, I'm happy to go through the heaps of 'fail meja' and 'senarai serahan tugas' to 'terkhidmat untuk negara' yetter.

My one very small, very puny complain though; can I get another keyhoard? The one I've got now can't do the one letter; the one that comes after 'A' and pefore 'C'. Y'know, the letter that makes sense of this statement I'm awout to make:
"slimey, sizzare keysoard this, what russish. Sos sossed the sall to the seaming sand of sushmen srother sefore suying a slasted soscat with sooss"

India Pictures. More of 'em.

2008-04-10T16:10:00.003+08:00

I promised a travelog-esque post on my trip to India but by Io's ankle, I'm fugging lazy. So I'm putting up random pictures from the trip and hope everyone would be sufficiently entertained.

Pictures from our Taj Visit. Everybody should know about Shah Jehan, beloved wife, yadda yadda.. the Taj is that gorgeous with ridiculously intricate stone designs. Flat gorgeous. The addmission fee for foreigners are around RM100 (as opposed to RM10 for locals) and you get to spend as long as you want in the compound. The weather was alright , a little hot but nothing compared to home. You can't mess with a girl who lives in KL and traipse around Labuan weather with the best of them. Bring it on! (yells Nella from her shady, airconditioned office)That's the Taj's side view. Which is no difference from the front view, lateral view, dorsal view. Genius architecture that it is.

Terrorizing the locals for a picture. The shoe cover was provided with every admission fee for foreigners. Or you could opt to take your shoes off. We like the very stylish covers. Tres chic, non?

View from my hotel rooftop. Yes, that's the Taj. Woke up at 6am to watch the Taj at sunrise. Hence the bleary, basi look. Ignore me and look at the Taj already, will you.

Siblings at a photostudio with the Taj Mahal backdrop. They're on discount. Eiffel Tower backdrop was also on discount but that would be too cheesy, we think.

Stay tune for the next installment where I shall post more (disturbing) picture of myself having a nuclear implosion (like having a blast, only more fun) in India.

It's like a mango, only different

2008-04-04T23:23:00.006+08:00

I'm back from India and from my PTD induction course in Terengganu. I'm dark, aching, wigging out and not happy.

Shall regale the masses (all 4 of them) with stories of my back to back adventures later. Meantime, here's some pictures to appease you lot(the aforementioned 4). Pictures of happier days. When I wasn't so dark, when I was ache-free, calm and relatively happier. Good old days, them 15 days ago. Sigh.

Camwhoring with my sister.

I can't rightly remember what this building is.

Poppies at the royal garden of Fatehpur Sikri.

Wind Palace of the Pink City.

The happy clan (minus one) at the Amber Fort.

Pwetty oliphaunt at the Amber Fort.

Crazy fun with Amanda celebrating the Holi on April 22nd. It was beyond awesome.

You Don't Talk About Fight Club

2008-03-18T11:59:00.004+08:00

As the esteemed Brig. Gen. (r) Dato Haji Kamarul Ariffin Haji Othman once said,

..the first rule about going to India is that don't go to India..

And he thus continued by saying,

..the second rule: refer to rule number one..

So me (hopefully, God's willing) being the presence of the great Taj Mahal tomorrow would be my way of saying sod off, uncle.

Also, this is my last day at work today. It feels so good. Everyone should quit their job too. Seriously. I'm hopping with joy. Or it could be the psyched traveling jitterbug from the impending trip. Either way. I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Tagial Obligation

2008-03-11T00:21:00.003+08:00

Cause Lynn and Afzan tagged me several millenia ago. Let's start with the more ancient tag.

(Aku alihbahasa eh, Afzan)
1. Superhero power I want: I would like to have no bodily smell.
2. Vhy? : Because. (You can probably guess how much thought I've put into answering this tag)
3. Downside of this power : I would have no smell. Should the trend of the future favors people with BO, I would be screwed.
4. My superhero nickname : Cauliflower-Man. -Girl. Whichever serve the merchandising function best.
5. My motto : Smell my fart. You can't, can you? *Insert evil laughter*
6. Sworn Enemy : Secondary school girls/boys who's not contributing to the deodorant industry. Or Too-Much-Cheap-Cologne Guy.
7. Official vehicle : Awan Guling ala Goku. Damn cool.
8. Day job : Perfumier.

Here's from Lynn
10 Things About Me That Might Freak You Out.
1. I've an encounter with aliens. Or as I like to call them, extra terrestrial friends of different form. Don't ask.
2. I've had plastic operation done on one area of my body.
3. One of my extended family (relatives) is adopted and only I know about it, other than the mom and dad.
4. I can't sleep on green sheets.
5. I hate people who likes specific cartoon characters.
6. I can't feel anything on my left top earlobe.
7. Strawberry shampoos give me nightmares.
8. I had my first sex dream when I was 20. Don't ask.
9. I've snogged girl(s) before but have not done that to any guy.
10. I'm probably lying about one or more (or all) stuff on this list.

So there. Done my duty. Now I'm tagging everyone on my blog list (scarce as it is) and everyone else who feels like doing it.

Some Cheese with that Whine

2008-02-28T16:11:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, good things happen to me and I'm not a complete and total fucktard that I don't realize it. Or be thankful for it. Like now, I have good things happening to me (when it rains, it pours) and it's only right that I write about those happy moment too. Not just the whiney moments. Balance, see.

..So..

Good Things Number 1: PTD. I've got it. Results came out the 25th and I got it. Offer letter is still in the mail so I am not really sure what's going to happen. But basically, I've got a real good job offer that is worth thinking about.

Good Things Number 2: Bonus baby! Feb's pay is in and good gosh golly, look at that account balance. Let me soak the moment in before clicking away to pay my loans, credit card and bills. Right now, this moment, I'm rich.

Good Things Number 3: Family Trip next month. Insya Allah. MAS Trade Fair last weekend had some wicked prices on airfare. We took the chance to plan out our annual family trip and I'm stoked. March can't come soon enough.

Good Things Number 4: My weird, pseudo diet is going admirably well. Meeting up with Shiren Monkee some weeks back and seeing how much weight she lost (She joined a gym and also doing yoga and now she looks awesome!) prompted me to stop stuffing my gob with food so much. So far so good. Lost a few. I'm not so hungry all the time now and I don't have to worry about going up a bra size (a good reason as any to lose weight). I have 2 more (sale) La Senzas I haven't worn.

Good Things Number 5: Scored big (big!) 7 letters words on 3 consecutive Scrabble games. Played 'palsied', 'mashed' and 'hangers'. The last word was on a triple word square lagi. Woot! Hell yeah. ..What? It's a bloody good damn thing to me, this is. Shutup.

Good Things Number 6: I'm in love* with my Flavor of the Week.
* not to be mistaken with the real thing.

Good Things Number 7: Quality time with friends. Had a friggin' awesome time with my bestest mates throughout February. Plans for more playdates with a few more this weekend and next week. Life is fantastic when you have crazy beautiful people like these to hang out with. I don't even mind the utter demolition of my pseudo diet whenever we hang out (because it's always always over food). Sante!

Alhamdulillah.

Funny twinge in my marrow for more good things to come. Here's to good things happening to you too! Hear hear.

Curses

2008-02-23T23:51:00.004+08:00

And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,
But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough.
I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,
Take it.
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby.
Break it,
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling.

You gorgeous asshole. You just had to do it, didn't you. I so did not see that one coming. *sarcasm*. And now I have nobody to blame but myself. Devious bastard. Hating you would be so much easier if I like you less. Or if you're not so bloody lovable. Or funny. Or cute, damn it.
Now that I know better, I'm calling it. No more. See this circle I'm drawing around me? Means I'm immune to you inside this circle. I'm in my zone. I'm in control. You can be as funny or as awesome or as nice as your usual exceedingly adorable self but you're not getting to me anymore.
Because your kind is toxic to me. You're like sprinkles. Looks wonderful and makes ice cream taste better (tastes so good) but too much of it, it'll give you the runs. No nutritional value whatsoever. Purely only decorative. Dangerous too. Turns vanilla into something decadent. Decadent isn't good. Vanilla can't be decadent. Vanilla should stay vanilla.
So no more. I'm removing all my feeling towards you. Neutral. Platonic. Just call me the Tin Man.
Now I only need to surgically remove this stupid grin I've been wearing on my face since you gave me that stupid, inane, meaningless, insincere and worthless compliment this morning. You crummy jerk.

Lobster's Favorite Things: Subway's OR cookies

2008-02-11T13:42:00.000+08:00

it's like Oprah's, only with crappier stuff.

om..nyom..nyom..

For the second exciting installment of this..thing I'm doing, I looked at my lunch decided it's going to be the very delicious Subway Oatmeal Raisin cookies.
I once hit the peak of my obsession with this deceivingly unattractive food item and tried to make my own Oatmeal Raisin cookies. I scoured the internet for a seemingly reliable recipe and tried it as soon as I reached home. The results weren't exactly the same but it was alright. It was the color of albino puke but I got the chewy center to crumbly edges ratio pretty close to Subway's (think Gap of Rohan-close).
I decided when I woke up this morning that I was going to have a Subway with their OR cookies for lunch. Stopped at the nearby Subway and proceeded to order a number 7 on Hearty (I'm never sure how to correctly pronounce this word. Har-T? Her-T?) Italienne (this I know how to pronounce. Rhymes with 'alien') bread, hold the chili pickle, mustard, ketchup, some more mustard. Opted to take the meal deal, add some 5 bucks and get a cola and cookies of choice. As usual. Simple enough.
Imagine my surprise upon discovering that they no more give you 2 cookies now, but only one in the meal deal. ONE! Quel dommage! I asked the staff, thinking she might unconsciously skimped me, to which she replied that it's the new meal package. One cookie (ONE!), cola and sandwich. She explained some crap about fuel price hike in 2008 affecting the costs of whatever and rather than increase their (already exorbitant) price, Subway decided to cut back on the cookies instead.
I was obsessed enough with the cookies to fork out the RM1.37 for another piece. Yes, I'm easy.
But now that I'm full, obsession sated for the time being and had moments to reflect; I'm incensed. There were no fuel hike this new year, thus rendering all the argument Subway gave about skimping my one piece of cookie meaningless. They're simply cheap pieces of turd, bent on making 400% return on every scrap of regurgitated synthetic chow they tricked us into buying by manipulating the vulnerable need for acceptance and inclusive effort of taking part of the newest and trendiest muck consumption the western world deemed indulgent enough to bring to our pitiful, culturalless shores.
Franchise capitalism at their best. Bastards.

Yes, I still think their Oatmeal Raisins are the shizz. What's your point?

Shakespeare..

2008-02-10T15:25:00.000+08:00

..I'm verily not. As I was valiant in effort and pespiration sorting out the sheafs of cereal-kind fodder on my desk yester eve, I came across this scant dribbling I made. 'Twas done when I had to while away the grains, some time ago. Lo, here's how it goes:

I'm so hungry
it's not even funny.
I could eat a rhino
if it's dipped in curry.
My stomach's empty,
there's nothing in it,
even a lint nary.
I wish someone would just
feed me.
I know people in Chilele,
could hear my tummy.
It's empty.
Growling. Hungry. Not happy.

How doth thy liketh it? Entrancing scribe vomit, 'tis not? Indeed, the very action that sway the quill that was plucked off an ancient raven's wings to this parchment is masterly as their content, so masterful such depiction. A guiless guile. To the common, splendor'd, even. Aha.

Love's Labours Lost, Act I, Scene i, Ferdinand to Costard
"Then for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;

Lobster's Favorite Things : Nightwatch

2008-01-31T11:57:00.001+08:00

It's like Oprah's only I'm not giving it out .

This is my favorite book. It is Night Watch by Terry Pratchett, as you can see. This book is wonderful and very delicious when eaten with fruit spread. Yes, that's a rubber band holding the book together. It started falling apart 1 year ago. You know, when you get to certain age you just let yourself go. There's only so much abuse you can take. Let it go, just let it go... . I'm gonna start my geekspeek now so you may want to step back.
I love this book more than I do my brother. I love it because Vimes kicks ass in this. I love it because you get to see Reg, Nobby, Colon, the ladies of negotiable affections, young Sam Vimes and mostly Vetinari when they were younger. The only way they could make this better is if they had more Carrot. That'll be awesome. More Carrot. It helps your night vision, you know, carrots. Also, this is when Sam gets little Sam. Wow. My favorite part of the book is A) when the committee of the The Glorious People's Republic of Treacle Mines Road were discussing what they want to put on their new crest (Truth! Justice! Reasonably Priced Love! Freedom! And a hard-boiled egg) B) the ingenious way Keel dismantled all attacks on the barricade. C) any scene with Mossy Lawn or Vetinari D)Night Watchman's oath

It's more than a Discworld book. You'd notice societal implication and political nuances in it. It is a Ankh Morpork history happening and it adds depth to all the other books in the series. On top of the drama and suspense of the plot and colorful characters. Pratchett is a bloody genius, by Io! This book is witty, mind boggling, fucking well written, entertaining and most of all, funny. There are jokes that you wont get the first time around but will make you snort out rice through your nose the next time you read. It's not a book. It's an evolution, in a handy paperback shape. I always bring a book when I go anywhere and this book is my most oft travel companion. Would explain the dragged-behind-a-garbage-truck look.

So there. The thing I love most in this world. This book. Can you tell?

Stay tune for the next installment of Nella's Favorite Things. la la tu tu tu la la laa (theme song)

Hungover

2008-01-28T22:29:00.000+08:00

Went to a wedding last night at the JW Marriot. It was my first Chinese Wedding and I had crazy fun. Crazy. Fun. Between the 7-course French gourmet dinner and the open bar and good live band music and the endless (endless!) YaaaaaaAAAaaaAAAmmmm SeeEEEEnnNNGGGgg toasting to the bride and the groom (and to the families and the guests and friends), I enjoyed myself tremendously. It was a tad long winded but the company was awesome and the ballroom looked amazing as did the happy couple; Alesia and Julian. The event ended at midnight and it was more than torture for me to wake up this Monday morning to go to work.
Here are some super crappy pictures of the whole shindig. It was taken on my Motorola just so you know.
Monday was invented so that we have something definite to hate. Groan. Hold head.

By the by; I have 4 ex classmates who are preggers right now. Fatin, Anne, Irmazian and Afzan. Afzan got married last November. As happy as I am for them (delirious), I still think .. you know what, nevermind. I am happy for them and let's just leave it at that, shall we. Congrats, you fertile lot!

Sappy

2008-01-24T23:13:00.000+08:00

I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no feats. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

Just finished watching Stardust for the nth time and feeling the fuzzies. I like the sheer fluffiness of the lines above. I could almost forgive them for not giving Yvein any eyebrows and asking her to imitate a bobble head when delivering these lines. Almost, but no cigar. Sigh.

Waiting for My Godot

2008-01-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

My life, lately has been ridiculously lame. I wake up, drive to work, eat lunch, drive back from work, have dinner with the family and go to bed. Repeat ad tedium. Sometime, if I think I can stand the excitement, I play Scrabble, Monopoly or Boggle. Mostly Scrabble with myself. Nothing else. Just sheer repetition one long day after another. It's driving me nuts.
It's been almost 3 months since I've been anywhere (Taiping) and 6 months (SIX!!) since my last overseas trip. It's almost unnatural. We Shuhaimes aren't meant to stay in one place for so long. It's genetically coded for us to ever so often grab our passport and a suitcase (or in my case, a backpack) and just head off into the sunset wherever the wind might take us.
When flipping through the channel last night I came across an ancient Craig David video clip on a beach and the overwhelming urge to just drive to the nearest beach was terrifying. And I don't even like Craig David. I'm a fairly impulsive being and at that moment I just felt I missed the beach so much and also I'm maddeningly bored of being stationary, I was so damn close to grabbing my car keys and going off at 3 am to Port Dickson. But apparently I still had some resemblance of self control. That and because the gate keys were with Dad.
I need to get out of this place. The thing is, I'm farking broke (January 2008 is stupid expensive and it just wont end). I'm just afraid one day I get into the car and the next thing you know I've driven all the way to Hanoi without me realizing it. And smeared all over my hood are pieces of rainforest trees, a monk, two buffalo, a straw purse, landmines and whats left of a Thai cooking oil smuggler. Which is not possible, of course but all the same, worrying. Worrying because I just might snap and do something as stupid. Not possible because Dad keeps my passport with the gate keys.
Right now, excitement is like Godot. I am waiting for him but he's not coming.

Star Light, Star Bright

2008-01-11T15:54:00.000+08:00

Isn't this movie just simply gorgeous? I heart Gaiman to the power of infinity(I love his American Gods and Good Omen) but I haven't read Stardust yet. I was going to, then the movie came out and I still haven't read it. Anyways..
Watched the movie, loved it and am all over it.
Brings back memories of watching the Princess Bride (my sister's all-time favorite movie) speaking of which, is probably one of the more funny movie ever made, methinks. It was ages ago when I last saw it but I still remember the movie (Princess Bride) is hilarious. Great movie, that. Classic, even. Oh Westley..
Back to Stardust. I know Gaiman wrote the book and Jonathan Ross (Jowaton Woss)'s wife co-wrote the screenplay. I didn't watch it when it came out in the cinema because..I don't know why. But I didn't and I'm sorry for that (but thank God for p2p! Yeah, I am cheap. Don't judge).
So I watched it last night and I absofarkinglutely love it.
Claire Danes was delightful, most of the time she doesn't look her 53 age at all. Snort. Tristan was a welcome fresh face (nothing worse than to have some assembly line Hollywood play him. So that's a disaster well dodged) and Pfeiffer (spelling?) was good, as usual. (Although her hag-act have nothing on what I imagine Granny Weatherwax's could be. But then you'd would call me too exacting.) The Mister Al Pacino was tad disappointing, I felt. He fell into the well-oiled trap of stereotyping the whoopsies, as they put it. He overacted a little (sacrilege!)and went for the generic ensemble of a flamboyant fruit. He was basically a flaming pineapple on a purple unicorn. But still great altogether. Ricky Gervais was a wonderful surprise as was Peter O Toole and Rupert Everett, however brief their screen time was. And I discovered the delicious actor who played young Dunstan Thorn (Ben Barnes) who is also going to be Prince Caspian. Yay. And I never imagine I would see the day that I could watch Sienna Miller and not hurl myself sick. Who woulda thunk.
I love the beautiful locations, resplendent costumes, witty banters and the overall great directions this movie has. The special effects were seamless and the editing flawless. The characters were very believable which is a big challenge for a fantasy novel adapted movie. And despite the predictable storyline, Stardust really commandeered respect by showcasing Gaiman's masterful, ingenious and fanciful albeit dark storytelling style.
My favorite part of the movie was the seven ghostly apparitions of Stormhold's former princes. Sheer comic.
So, great movie, yeah. It's definitely going to be on my Best Movies of All Time list. And I'm also going to go excavate our Princess Bride VHS tape, unearth the video player from the bowels of Unused Applicants that is 4 miles under the Mariana trench and watch that movie again.
Or, I could always p2p it. Oh, the joy technology brings.

Nhu Ya

2008-01-08T13:05:00.000+08:00

How was your new year?

Mine was celebrated according to tradition i.e. I was sleeping and oblivious to anything.
Ho ho.

Celebrated my mom's birthday the next day.

Order was restored after the party. Only the 2 balloons remained as a testament to the festivity that was once held there.

Went to Ed's for some scrumptious dinner Reena and Ulfah scraped up on Saturday. Great food, great (albeit slightly mental) company and great view. Fireworks picture above is taken from Ed's balcony last year. Amazing view of KL from his place. Lucky bastard.

Ed and his marvelous brownie concoction. This was desert, of course. No one cared to stop eating during dinner long enough to take any pictures. Food was go-Ud. Also, that's Reena, kitchen goddess.

Camwhores, Ulfah and I. Our impression of a goldfish. Not too bad at all.
We look high don't we? It was probably the brownies. Ahem.

Been spending quite some time with a lot of my friends recently (and I'm glad) but not with this group of retardos I know. Kinda miss them. Oh well.

Say What

2007-12-31T14:38:00.000+08:00

I know that some (defining quantity less than 1) people read my posts. Okay. Some of you are my friends and sometimes you have nothing better to do. I'm not delusional.
But I was nicely startled to find out that a Karl Urban fan site had my blog referred to my Pathfinder movie review. Wonders of wonders. She/He was even cool enough to quote me. Me! Oh what joy.
Anyways. I thought you should know. So you don't feel alone. Feel free to insert my witty writings in your conversations now. Like, "..admittedly the blogger Nella did say in her post that cabbages are the most revolting vegetable in the world.." or "Did you read the post Nella wrote on the wonder of brown wrapping your textbook?". You know, to add more spice in your conversations and for you to appear more erm, resourceful.
Hahaha.
Happy New Year, my cuddly porpoises! Hope you did not regret too many things you did in 2007 and here's to looking to a whole other year of flustering about stuff that is not really important. Have a good one!

Banjir

2007-12-24T18:49:00.000+08:00

Ati asked about the flood. Well Ati, basically Pahang, Kelantan and Terengganu banjir. Damn bad banjir it was too. It has since receded significantly but at one point almost 2500 people in Pahang was forced out of their houses because they cant breathe underwater and that was where their houses were. There has also been deaths from drowning. Ghastly stuff. And we have a house in Temerloh. Which is in Pahang. Nothing happened to it (it just got slightly damp from the rain, good thing it's made out of paper) but my uncle's houses were not so lucky. Temerloh also lost a couple days of power and water due to the banjir. Here are some pictures.
The ironic thing is, this house in the picture is their banjir safe-house. This house is on a hill and was built so that when the original house gets flooded, they could hightailed it to this house. So much for a contingency banjir plan. Snort. And before you feel sorry, these people actually lives in KL. The one that got submerged and almost-submerged was the weekend house (the original, flood bent house) which is affectionately known as the chalet. The almost submerged, so called safe house on stilts is called the annex. My family's house is the bungalow (the one that is not made of paper). Yes, original people we are when it comes to naming stuff. But the banjir, to us, was all good. The kids had fun playing with the water and the boats and fishing. Only my aunt (you could see her in the second picture) got mad that her citrus groove got muddy. She's very particular about her lemon trees.

My Weekend

2007-12-17T14:10:00.000+08:00

Saturday

Attended a wedding (which I seem to be doing almost every weekend lately)
Played Monopoly at Ed's for 4 hours.
Had pizza for dinner.
Home by 930.
Dinner again (Mak cooked some awesome stuff, I just had to)

Sunday

Slept in.
Waved Mak, Abah and little brother goodbye (they we going back to see the flood damages to our kampung house)
Watched TV.

Tadaa. How's that for a truly productive weekend? How was yours?

We Just Don't Talk Anymore

2007-12-13T11:21:00.000+08:00

Warning: Post may contain nuts, elements of sappiness and may invoke gag reflex.

Denial (is not just a river in Egypt)
I don't hate you. I don't think you're not good enough for me. I don't think you're boring. I don't think you're insecure. I don't hate you.

Query
Why did we stop talking? What are we waiting for? Why must you have a good reason to call me? Why shouldn't we go out anymore? Did we stop having fun together? Who said I hated spending time with you? Who said this relationship should mean anything more than what it is? Who fucking said anything about marriage? No, seriously, who?

Story
I like you. I think you're funny. I like spending time with you. I'm sad we are going through this. I think this is crap. I am okay with what we have. I am okay with where we are. I am more than okay with you. I have hope for more but I wont say them. I'm bad with things like this. I never have the best of luck with making these things last. I am a tad afraid but I am a lot happy. I am selfish when it comes to me and my heart. I like you. I really do.

Plea
Lets not force this. Lets just enjoy what we have. Please talk to me about this. Lets work this out. Please lets just talk.

Enhanted

2007-12-06T12:51:00.000+08:00

Gosh darn goody golly indeed. Since the classic Disney prince-prince storyline is probably the most overused and clinched plot there is known to men, Disney really had their work cut out for them to come up with something new and different to the prince/princess franchise. And by God they've done it!
Enchanted was delightful. It pokes fun the other Disney works, shows more of the gray areas in happily-ever-after but still holds that distinct Disney-ness. You know, the one that makes you feel you believe in love and the goodness in men and that good will triumphs over evil. The same feeling you get when you watched their princesses movies when you were 6 and how you feel when you visit Disneyland.
Amy Adams was an innocent Disney princess personified, complete with graceful, over expressive hand gestures. James Marsden was adorable as the highly self absorbed and slightly clueless prince charming. Love the scene when he was eating hot dog on their date wearing that absurd SOL green crown. And I couldn't get enough of the Wicked Step mother and the bumbling man servant and Pip, oh lord, Pip was hilarious. Methinks the casting could've found a better Nancy. McDreamy was okay. He didn't have much to do except to look cool and bemused and dashing. He has the hair for it.
This movie is hilarious. Really, really hilarious. The part where she called all the rodents in NYC too help with the cleaning up; favorite. scene. ever. And the running gag with making her own dresses. And the song in the park. How...Disney. I was enchantedly entertained (a cornier play on words I've never heard, this is what Disney movies do to you).
I love it (if you cant already tell). For a moment right after I really felt that true love exists and there's goodness in everyone and the world is not such an ugly, twisted, dirty place and Disney is not another corporate capitalist bent on raping the world economy through celluloid and plater castles and disillusioning young minds to the saccharine plasticity that is essentially merchandised and retail happiness. Ahem.
So well done. Another classic, I say. Well done.

Here's my other Disneyland related posts : Disneyland Japan Picture. I couldn't find my HongKong Disneyland posts. Here's the IMDb link and the Rotten Tomatoes link.

I wanna lick you up

2007-11-30T13:17:00.000+08:00

My mom gave me a Juicy Tubes (in Fraise #17) and I'm having trouble stopping myself from gobbling the whole tube up. It's just so...juicy. It would take 5 minutes after application before I lick it off. Than I'll have to reapply it only to lick it all off again. This would go on all day long. You could imagine how fast I'm wearing the tube down. Methinks it's Lancome's genius evil plan for boosting sales. Devious bastard. But it tastes so good. My lips are luscious looking and lollipop yummy.

You know who else I want to lick all over? James Denton from Desperate Housewives. The show blows but the man is P.H.I.N.E fine. Yummy.

To Jon

2007-11-29T11:41:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday.

Here's to another 44 years of sheer comic and satiric genius. I want to have your babies. Really, I do.

Taiping Tripping

2007-11-14T13:09:00.000+08:00

I went to Taiping with my cousins last weekend. It was great fun. We've been planning for this trip since Eid. So me, my sister and 9 other cousins (Azzad, Dhuna, Deedy, Amru, Abbaei, Amy and her kids; twin Irfan & Izzat and Cha) bundled off in 3 cars for our great northern adventure.

First thing Saturday morning we (KL area cousins) met up with our Kajang cousins at the PLUS Rawang R&R. From there we headed North. First stop on our excursion was Gua Tempurung off Gopeng exit.

Look how happy, clean and fresh everyone is. We opted for the 'Top of the World' tour that was described as a 'exciting and slightly strenous'. We paid RM9 and followed our guide and some others into the gaping chasm of Gua Tempurung.
They should have named the tour 'Visit to Hell in a Handbasket' tour. The cave was fine but 'slightly strenous' apparently translates into 'you'll sweat, you'll skid and slip on the slimy, rickety looking, skimpy metal stairs, you'll climb, you'll pray for the tour to end, you'll get vertigo from the height, you'll wear off your deodrant, you'll hike and walk and hike, and did I mentioned you'll sweat?'

Picture at the end of our leg of the tour. Word that comes to mind looking at this bunch would be : manky. Not the best smelling people you'll find. You could go on further into the cave if you want. We had to go back the same way we came in. Just when I thought climbing up the stairs was bad.

Next we headed to the overrated Kellie's Castle. It wasn't all that but it was hard not to have ridiculous fun with these people. We had a pseudo-lunch there and it rained when we were about to start the castle exploration, bummer. I'm still waiting for better pictures from the other 7000 cameras my other cousins brought along for this trip, but for the time being:

Then we continued with our way to Taiping. Checked in and went on to the great Taiping zoo. That was the original plan but the zoo was already closed for the day. We've already gone on the night tour of the zoo 2 years ago so we went for dinner at the infamous food court instead. Had ridiculous amount of Rojak Sotong Kangkung. Good times. Later went for a detour at Tesco to stock up on the junk food for our horror movie which was next on the agenda. For lack of better movies to watch, we watched The Grudge 2 and was not impressed.
The next morning, bright and early, we headed to the Taiping zoo. This bunch was easily amused by the huge Araipaima fishes (we were stuck at the pond for almost 3o minutes waiting for them to finish gawking at the fishes) and the most over-used word of the trip was, "It's huuuge!" which was understandable because all the animals were bigger than it looked in Animals Planet. Taiping Zoo is undoubtedly the damn zoo in Malaysia. The animals looked happy and well looked after (except for their snakes enclosures) and the zoo environment was clean, green, well kept and beautiful. It was worth the RM5 admittance ticket and this second return.

3 hours later, we checked out of the hotel and headed to our Auntie's house in Kemunting. The first time we were in Taiping was for this Auntie's grand daughter's wedding (i.e. My cousin's daughter's wedding). This time, 2 years later, we were in Taiping to see their babies. Yes, my cousin's daughter's babies. Technically, we were grandparents. We are normally absurdly close to all our relatives but my auntie's family is a tad estranged from us after my uncle's death 24 years ago. Nothing bad, just don't see each other enough. The boys are 8 months old twins and are the 3rd twin in our extended family. We came bearing gifts. The babies were not impressed.
Done with our familial resposibilty, we started the journey home. We stopped by Kuala Kangsar to see the sights. Although I still think nothing good ever came out of Kuala Kangsar (ahem) the places of interest wasn't all that bad, really. Stopped by the Ubudiah mosque for prayers. And the newly-renovated-but-still-unofficiated-therefore-not-open-for-public Royal museum. Look at this good looking bunch.
And later to the Handicraft square for some souvenirs shopping. We left Kuala Kangsar and after a pitstop at Tapah, continued our way home in the rain.

However, right after the Ulu Bernam R&R and 5km before the Lembah Beringin exit, Dhuna's car got into a 5 cars fender bender. It was around 9.30 pm and it slowed traffic down up to 10 km. No one was hurt. I was in Deedy's car and we managed to stop and Deedy helped with stuff. Azzard's missed and waited for us at the Rawang rest stop.
I took forever to get the cars off the right lane into the emergency lanes, it took forever for the PLUS people to come, it took forever to sort everything out and bring everyone to the nearest police station in Ulu Bernam, it took FOREVER to process and finish the police reports and it took forever for us to continue with our way home. But it was all good. We had one half of the twins with us at the police station and it was their birthday.
I arrived home at 4 am Monday morning and had to work the very next day. All in all it was a tremendous trip and we are already planning for the next one. But Dhuna said she's not gonna drive for that one. Word.

a Non Raya Post

2007-10-22T18:54:00.000+08:00

Several eons ago, I invited Shiren to my humble kampung for the fruits season. Here are the pictures.

Started the kampung excursion by arriving early to experience the unique 'pekan sari', a traditional street market event in town which happens every Sunday. Shiren insisted on being a complete townie by taking pictures of the market place and embarrassing the hell outta me. Also she revolted some local people by looking Malay but speaking English and directing her questions through an interpreter, i.e. me. Switching between languages messed up my authentic Pahang dialect and English grammar. B*tch made me look bad in my own hood, yo.

Appropriately clad for kebun tromping, durian seeking and mangosteen galah-ing activities. The person behing us is my uncle having breakfast al fresco. I don't like him very much but my mom insisted on feeding him. I wish she wont. Ignore him and observe the very stylish rubber wellies we had on. Fetching.

The day's bounty. The best damned durian you can eat. I personally am not a big fan but I have to admit the superiority of these. And you know I am not biased at all.

Shiren and I with my mom and various relatives helping with the coconut husking process which was seriously fun and quite challenging to do. Observe how happy everyone looked in this picture. Yep, we were probably high.

The ancestral seat falling into decay since my grandparents passed away. It used to have a great flower garden and people living in it. Now its just a highlight in our kampung tour under the 'haunted house' title. Last time I went in was to retrieve some extra plates for a kenduri and had a bat tangled in my hair. Scariest moment in my life. We like to think there are really ghosts in the house. Wouldn't that be totally awesome?

View of my family's kampung retreat chalet from the back, near the river bank. We build this house because you couldn't pay us to stay in the old house. Oh yes, we are all a bunch of wussies and we don't care. The old house is seriously that spooky.

WTF

2007-10-04T14:13:00.000+08:00

I just gained 4.4 lbs since I started fasting 3 weeks ago.
How is that even biologically possible?
I'm so damn special.

postscript: my company's Eid card is horrendous. Add this to everything else that's been fucking up in my life recently, has the makings of a truly worst Raya ever.

Most Disgusting

2007-09-13T14:09:00.000+08:00

I've been unconciously working on this list lately. It's my "most disgusting stuff" list and I have been working on it especially when I'm driving everyday. I find the exercise fun and therapeutic. I'm still working on it so adjustments to the rankings may happen.

Nella's List of Things Most Disgusting

Dead babies (see: Trainspotting)
Dentures.
Fresh roadkill.
Male VPL.
Dried pee on (communal) toilet seats.
Suspect hair on toilet seats.
Ingrown toenails.
Stale vomit.

You can help me think of more stuff. Oh yes, I generally have nothing better to do.

The Ship Shipping Shipper

2007-09-12T23:02:00.000+08:00

Am obsessed with Friday Night Lights! Went through the whole first season like free ice cream at a PMS convention. Whoo. And being the big romantic that I am (shutup), naturally I just have to ship Matt and Julie from the show. They are just absolute squee (see, I even speak fangirl-ese fluently). And the show is really, really good. Gah.

Besides Matt and Julie (MaJules? Taracen?) I am also a proud shipper of Huddy. Now that Cameron's dead I look forward to a new season with utmost glee. House Season 4 starts September 25th. I am also into MiSa but fast growing weary with them. But come September 17th (Season 3 kick-off), I'm willing to give them another shot at invoking the squee.

I also like (but dont watch) Clana, Seth and Summer, Brucas and Jate. I was once a huge Jater but then Kate just had to sleep with Sawyer and Lost became unwatchable. The long winded and seemingly pointless storyline helped too. Deep down inside I still have hope, though. That they'll end up together or they kill Kate off. She's so annoying. Jack's stubble-appeal is getting old fast too. And the olden couples like Micheal/Maria and Spuffy. Those were good too.

TV most unwatchable couple? Just anyone that they hook up in CSI. Am I the only one who thinks that Sara and Grisham together is a little creepy, if not a lot creepy? And I loathe Horatio Caine (ugh) so anyone they pair up with him is crap. In fact, the very idea of Horatio Cane is crap. And Danny and Montana? Don't get me started. I don't watch CSI anymore (for obvious reasons) I don't know why I'm getting worked up by this. I don't like Booth and Brennen either. They just don't seem right, yknow. I either don't (have time to) watch other shows or can't be bothered to ship them. Some show (like Criminal Minds) I like but are unsuitable for shipping. Although in CM, that guy who plays the skinny-know-it-all doctor should be flayed, skinned and skewered. He gets on my nerve.
I spend too much time watching TV, don't I?

Happy Ramadhan and Have Fun Puasa everyone.

yep, changed my previous post into 2 posteses. because wishing someone a happy anything after spouting a most disgusting list just doesnt look right.

Birthday Edition

2007-09-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

Turned 24 today. Lord. Besides the surprise flower at work, the prezzies and all the wonderful birthday wishes (thanks!), I had a great yet pretty normal work day. Which is good considering my mortal fear of getting older. I'm grateful for my family, my friends, my health, my (dubious) sanity, my safety, my blessings, my shortcomings, my loves, my hates, my time and my life. Here's to me. Lets not talk about me aging anymore, shall we? *breaks out in hives*

As a birthday present from me to you, I scanned an exercise we did during a corporate training. It's my deepest, darkest secret revealed. NOT. But it sure is interesting.
First, we ticked 10 of our own weaknesses of a long list and the list was passed around, we were then asked to pick 2 traits we identify most in another colleague. To sum it up for y'all, my officemates think I'm 1)Arrogant (by a huge margin) 2)Gossips 3)Hot Tempered & Disrespectful & Talkative (3-way tie). Gives a warm, fuzzy feeling knowing the people you work with thinks so highly of you, ainnit? Damn, now if only I care.

Update: added a polaroid baby picture of me in my Ugly Babies post.

Family Day

2007-08-22T16:07:00.000+08:00

Company's Family day in Langkawi last weekend. Went on MAS and stayed 4 days at Berjaya Resort and Spa, which is a tremendous hotel. Never remembered Langkawi to be so lush and green. It basically rained the whole time we were there but we had fun with what little sunshine we had, all 300 staffs plus their families. But if you're single you can't bring anyone. Just you and your lonesome self among merry people with family frolicking in the sun..well, rain. Because they aren't happy if you're just lonely, they want you miserable and pitiful as well. Sure, rub it in. Rub it in.

View from the beach of the mountains. Gorgeous day for beach sports and games; before the sky let it rip and leaked and poured and all hell broke loose. Orange clad people are our people. I won 3rd at coconut dribbling. Which is much harder than it sounds and which I sucked royally at.

Spent most of my time playing with other people's kids. But only the cute ones. Above is baby Shuen, her mom is my company's accountant. We went around pinching Shuen's cheek saying "when you gonna approve my claim, wei?" Lord, she's a cutie wookie, isn't she? And I'm not half bad myself. Ahem

Also spent a lot of time hanging at my beachview-kampung style-uber cool-surrounded by huge trees chalet's balcony. Since it rained a lot, I managed to get a lot of reading done. A colleague took pictures of us hanging chilling out and this is the only one not featuring my cleavage.

Behold my bounty from Langkawi. Didn't buy one bottle of gamat or one scrap of kain batik. Just chocolates and heaps of them. This is RM200 worth of damage. Well worth it, I say. Daim, Bounty and Kisses are the only chocolate my family deem good enough to be eaten. Snobs.

Another so-adorable-its-stupid picture of Shuen. Just because I have a lot.

Ugly Babies

2007-07-27T15:10:00.000+08:00

Babies are cute. As they get older, they grow in their respective ugliness. But generally, babies started off beautiful. Well, most of them do.
Because I've seen ugly babies and they exists. I look at some babies and I just go, "That's just nasty,"
Fact is, some babies are just unfortunate. But we think because all babies posses the innocence, the sweet scent, the adorable stupidity and helplessness, there's no such thing as an ugly baby. Wrong. These baby characteristics shared by all babies makes all babies appealing. But while all babies are appealing, not all are visually attractive. Ugly, just no less lovable.
People lie to ugly babies. No one would actually say that a baby is ugly. And your own baby is never ugly. It's okay to tell ugly babies they're ugly actually. Just don't tell the parents (because unlike their ugly baby, they would probably understand what you're saying and kill you)
I feel for ugly babies. It's easiest being cute while you're a baby. It's all downhill after that. So if you lucked out being cute when you're a baby, chances are you should be concentrating on having a damn awesome personality growing up. But you better learn how to feed yourself first before anything.
I myself, was not a cute baby. Not ugly, just I didn't have the abundance of cuteness that was so effortless to most babies. I had no hair and according to my mom, I never smile. I had a perpetual frown. I look at my baby pictures and I honestly have to admit, despite my towering delusions, that I was not cute. I wouldn't make anyone hurl by looking at me but I was definitely lacking in the look department. I could live with that. I have a wonderful personality and I know how to order a pizza.
As part as a select species, I implore you to look at your baby pictures and be honest. It's okay. It's the inside that matters. Snort.

Man Vs Hot

2007-07-16T14:08:00.000+08:00

I spent 13 hours in front of the TV last Sunday (and it was the best Sunday I've had in a long, long time). I came across this show on The Discovery channel and promptly fell in lust and love with who I think is TV most sexiest male ever. Ever. Bear Grylls from Man Vs Wild. The meanest, wackiest, hottest, coolest, hippiest, awesomest and the real definition of a man's man. *swoon*

The episode of Man Vs Wild I saw was the one where Mr. Hot Buns showed how to survive the Alps mountain during the worst of winter. This one episode I saw him dove into a frozen lake* (and later proceeded to take all off in order to get warm. Gah!), ate maggots he got from the rotting dead Bambi-animal, caught a trout and ate it raw and wriggling, drank spruce tea and made snowshoes from twigs and his parachute strings. Lord, he turns me on. Reading him up Wiki only makes him go several Nova up in my Hot meter.

* after getting out of the lake, he was frantic to get warm again (for fear of death. d-uh) and when I said he took it all off, I meant he took it. All. Off. On TV. Of course they had to blur the necesary visual but enough for me to rejoice in cable TV. Especially when he started bench pressing in the altogether to get the blood pumping. ~Hello.
It didnt look like he was packing much but jumping in a frozen lake may have something to do with it. Sometimes, when you can dig around in dead animal's rotting bowels to find maggots for you to eat, you don't really need the cajones to prove that you have the cajones, see. I'd let him tap it all the way, any way regardless the size. God, I'm lewd.

The Dissapearing Act That Went Unnoticed

2007-07-05T18:41:00.000+08:00

Did anyone notice that I was gone for one whole week? No? Wow, I'm that unimportant, huh? Oh well, I still got to go Medina and Mecca for my umrah. Hah. Enjoy the pictures, you bunch of ungrateful louts. -yells Lamb to her invisible and non existent audience.

Masjid AnNabawi, Madinah.

Tamar Farm with Big Little Brother.

Alumrah Entrance, Masjidil Haram, Mekah with Big Sister.
(she's the smaller one on the left)

Boundary marker of Haram Area.

A Compliment

2007-06-18T20:32:00.000+08:00

Friday night, 330 a.m. SMS conversation with friend. We are talking about books, if you can't already guess.

Her : fred. whch murakami u haf?

Me : D windup bird .u want?

Her : yeth. watcher doin?

Me : readng.duh.

Her : wot?

Me : darian north, violatn.

Her : finishd fry?

Me : jus now. north is makin me sleepi.

[after 45 minutes]

Her : bed?

Me : no. gaveup north.gibson now.just dl her nu buk.

Her : who gibson?

Me : gibson,rachel.romance otter.

Her : girl, u bookwhore.

Me : tanks *blushes*

Actually, I prefer the term 'biblio-slut' myself.

Crumminess

2007-06-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

Had a semi-almost accident on my way to work this morning. Actually I don't think the incident qualified as an 'accident' per se. But it involved two cars on a road, so maybe I can get away with calling the whole thing an 'accident'. Who fucking cares.

Basically what happened was a Murano suddenly cut into my lane and I skidded to a halt barely avoiding a full-on collision. After experiencing the near-death panic and the jarring, screeching, forward-propelling jolt, I was quite ready to let the Murano moron driver off with a indignant blare of my tinny horn. I was certain that our cars barely made any contact. I would know because my car is basically made of rice paper. Raindrops could dent it.

But Idiot decided to pull over so knowing I'm the innocent party, I pulled over too. Getting out of the car was an Indian lady, talking on the phone and checking the non-existent damage to her car, no thanks to her dumb ass driving. I got out too, too happy to confirm that Mr Jeremy Clarkson (my car) is hale and fine and in fact, the only damage was some rubber transfer from my wheels to the side of the Retard's Murano. Puny at that.

She was still yapping on the phone and I overheard the conversation enough to start taking offense and began getting properly mad for brainless homicidal driving. I heard her repeating;

"...its just a Kelisa.. Just a Kelisa.."
"...Malay girl." ~full emphasize on the my race.

She was also stressing the fact that I have a 'P' license to whoever on the receiving end. And when she started talking to me, she was still on the damn phone and she was talking in bad Bahasa Malaysia and overall sounding like she's talking to an idiot (me) who can't understand English and is beneath her because my Jeremy Clarkson is a Kelisa to her Murano. And not once did she ask if I was okay.

Pissed beyond anything mainly because she didn't even have the decency to hang up her call before talking to me, I let it rip. In very rapid, highly condescending English. I put as many more-than-3-syllables-words as I could. The gist was;

..I don't care if your car is made out of gold, you should always check your blindsides before you change your bloody lane. That's just crummy driving, no matter what you drive..

I told her that she should know how SUVs have blindsides the size of a tanker. I think I repeatedly (3 times) told her how crummy her driving is. Yes, I used that very word. Juvenile? It was either that or 'bloody fucked-up piece of fucking molting crap'. 'Crummy' was easier to say.

I turned up the snotty and told her if she'd apologize I'm willing to let this go, seeing how both of our cars escaped unscathed. See how big of a person I'm being.

I stood up for Jeremy Clarkson, I sounded eloquent and magnanimous and I managed to get to work on time. I'm happy.

Picture from my crummy phone of the uncrummy Asakusa Shrine, Japan.
Just because.

Hodrey's Funeral..I mean, Wedding

2007-06-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

(from top) with sister and mom and yes i am fatter than them both; the schmuck in white getting married and now its too late to save him; me fooling around with the bed drape after getting the asignment to do the bridal bower (and i did a fricking rad job too); the designated cameraman who is also my cousin and fortunately has yet to fallen victim to the dark side i.e. getting hitched.

Wedding Day. Temp: hellish, literally.
(clockwise from top) with partner-in-crime/cousin/bridal bower co-decorator: Yuyu; Yu, me and the schmuckette who got married to the schmuck (see above); Yu (again), me and sister; Me and beloved Mak Tam (only the kewlest aunt, like, ever)

I just need to get rid of these pics. The only reason I took them in the first place was to blend in and not make my aversion to any kind of weddings too obvious. By 'kononnye' taking pictures I appear to be having fun, see? I rather slit my wrist with a toothbrush, actually. Why toothbrush? cause it'll hurt more.

27g of Fat every 100g

2007-06-12T18:12:00.000+08:00

My life recently has been excessively filled with:

Eating m&m's.
im on my 3rd 100g bag this week and it's only tuesday. and it's 27g of fat for every 100g, dammit.
Weddings.
the black hole of joy, happiness, sunshine and everything good.
Birthdays.
it's my sister's birthday today. 4 days ago it was my brother's. sprinkled liberally in between are of friends' and cousins'. but im poor so they left me alone.
Presents.
see item 2 and 3. but whats royally effed up is that its all my present to other people. how can that even be right?
Robot Chicken.
how freakingly genius are these people? i mean, seriously. i can't stop watching it, godamit. your name is sunny muffin. hilarious. hilarious.
Books.
found a second hand book mecca that is amcorp mall, also with a sick discount first-hand shop. am still reeling from 2 rushdies, 2 frys and 3 ffordes book marathon.
Dread and Trepidation.
i'll spare you.
Selective Boredom.
selective, because im not bored in anything else but these matters. for the seasons are overrrrr. house, PB; long time ago, lost. gah. what the fuck am i to do until?

What can I say? Sometimes my life doesn't suck all that bad. *chomps on m&ms*

Weddings

2007-06-05T13:54:00.000+08:00

Friday night..Azhani and Ather's wedding..great fun..blah blah..got lost..arrived late..STFians...ridiculous fun..yadda yadda..took heaps of pictures..blah blah..came back late..blah blah..it was totally awesome.

Next day, Mom's friend's son's wedding..blah blah..damn hot..yadda yadda..good food..blah blah..sweating a lot..blah blah..did i mention it was fucking hot?

Sunday, Kak As's wedding..Raub..couldn't come..blah blah..Shiren, Penny and Dewi went..blah blah..really wanted to go..blah blah..yadda yadda..

Next week, Hodrey's wedding..Cousin..blah blah..should be miserable..yadda yadda..must buy gift..blah blah..not really looking forward to it..

OI! ENOUGH WITH THE WEDDINGS! YOU PEOPLE ARE GETTING ON MY BLOODY NERVES.

Missing The Jabronies

2007-06-01T02:41:00.000+08:00

Remember when wrestling was good entertainment? Long time ago. Circa 1999 to early 2000s. Good old days, them. Wrestling nowadays are crap. They don't know smack about wrestling. Cena who? (what?)
Used to love watching WWF/E on late night TV shows. Man, I was really into the whole drama. All the usual clowns; The Rock, Stone Cold 3:16, Kane, The (slimmer) Hardy Boys, Big Show, The Dudley Boys (get the table), The Game, Kane, Edge, Christian, Angle, remember those fuckers? Man, those days, wrestling was fun. Fun, fun. Not some overcooked gimmick lame-ass excuse that they are now. You know you hit rock bottom (pun intended) when you have Trump in wrestlemania. Wankers.
I used to know all the tag lines, the signature moves and were kept embarrassingly up to date with the current drama/feud/opera back then. Triple H and Stephanie, Mick Foley getting fired, Steve Austin getting screwed, Brock Lesnar, who backstabbed whom, who totaled whose car, NWO, etc. All the useless, mindless, horrifyingly meaningless yet unabashedly resistant, elaborate details about wrestling I seemed to commit to memory. They were stupid, yes, yet strangely compelling. I was so over being ashamed with my fixtation with WWE/F. But the crap nowadays can make you cringe in abject ridicule. Someone need to layeth a smackdowneth on these candy asses so called 'wrestlers'. Gimme a hell yeah.
Cue: American Badass theme. What?