Blood, Guts and Gore.. it must be Eid!

So it's been a while. My apologies but I can't really be blamed for having a life now, can I? Ahem. So, in case you're wondering (which you probably aren't), I am alive and well and having the best time of my retarded life. Yay. Will dish out details as soon as I get to leave the antiCreativity-Vortex that is INTAN. Seriously, if there's any place on earth that could suck out all your individuality and creativity, it's this place. Guess, it's not that big of a surprise seeing how it is here that mindless government drones are bred and trained every miserable day. But I digress..

It was Eid al Adha and I got to go back for a while. I wanted to post all the really gruesome pictures but I really don't want to offend any of my 3 readers. So, behold the PG pictures..

That person with the white serban and black wellies is the SlaughterMeister extraordinare. This was the moment when Bull became Hamburger.

This was still twitching when it was plopped in front of me. Twitching! It wasn't even connected to the cow anymore. Come on.

These escaped the festivities. Count your blessings, goats!

Pictures are obviously not in sequence. Just a surrounding shot of the site of carnage before any carnage was occurred. People standing around trying to look like they know what they're doing.

Still PG right? Everyone grab a limb and work our way down from there. Bear Gryllis did a whole camel on his own.

Cousin and moi. Ahem. Yes, the headscarf was borrowed and only because it was the only one available. I forgot to bring any of my own. Shut up.

End result. Yummilicious squared. My arteries are still crying over the grease and fat intake from that day. Haha.

FIN.

What's Normal for Me..

Warning: this is one long ass post.

Okay, I realized the previous post shows too much of my Raya Grinch-ness. To be fair, my Raya wasn't so bad. Pretending that you want to know (and since I have the whole Eid picture folder on me right now), I shall regale you with my exploits during the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Raya, in parts. Brace yourself (for lameness-esque).

Day Uno

Raya Pertama di rumah bonda,
Rumah bonda di ibu kota,
Nak buat camne, saya memang tinggal di sana,
Nak balik kampung, ramai dah mati pula.

After slaving away the day before Raya to get the house ready (which deserves a whole different post), we woke up early and had our teary, emotional bersalamsalaman session before we went to pray at the Masjid Belakang Bukit together(bukan nama di sign board). As usual, I would be sleep deprived and would maintain my shameful tradition of sleeping through the 2 khutbahs.

Home, breakfast and the annual first visit from our neighbour, Uncle Lan and his whole brood. We would be the only 2 Malay families left in whole Lorong during Raya time. Soon after they left, we were decended by my dad's sister and his family. More food being served, more dishes to do. Sorry, just have to put that in.

Then our two families left for my dad's uncle's house. This was where I got my only duit Raya. Yay dad's uncle!

Again, our two families moved to Kajang to visit my dad's other sister's house (he has 8 of them, don't ask). Since this sister also married my mom's brother (confusing you?), us cousins are pretty close.

After which, my family (ditched the first aunt's family) and left with this new aunt's family to go to my mom's brother's house which is also in Kajang.

Later we maintained formation and went on to visit my dad's other sister's house in Sepang. This is where we regrouped with the first aunt on top of my dad's other sister. Basically, Sepang was over flowing with my dad's sisters. If you were keeping tabs (and you should), there've been 4 aunts altogether. In one Raya day.

So, what do you do at relatives houses when you come visit the during first day of Raya?

You eat. My dad sleeps.
Nom. Nom. Nom.

Snore.

You take and pose for loads and loads and loads and loads of pictures.
See that behemoth of a man on the left? Behind him, totally eclisped by his girth, is my brother and a cousin. Damn, you're huge Abah.

Dammit, people. We should be able to get this right already.

You eat somemore.
Nom. Nom. Nom.

You take more goofy, unnecessary pictures.
Themed photo.
Left to right: I'm confused, I want to play with the big cousins, I overact, I'm boring, I'm actually posing.

You be merry.
What's so funny, Maksu? We are. Yes, we are. We are hilarious.
Everybody: 'Yes, we are, aren't we?'
Hilarity ensued.

Of course, there's the bersalaman and bermaafan.
100% posed.

Best looking cousin couldn't pass up a photo op. He's cute though, right?
He's 15, you perverts. Sheesh.

Day one of Raya for me ended at 1.04 am. It wasn't all torture, I have to admit.

My Raya and I Care About Yours.

Selamat Hari Raya! Maaf Zaher Batin.
How was yours?
Mine?Never ending chores, obnoxious relatives, endless travel, violation of diet, non stop gabbing, unfamiliar beds, infinite squabbling, perpetual fund depleting and constantly pretending I'm joyously feeling the Raya spirit.

3rd Day of Eid, at our Kuantan hideout. Fast becoming less amused with the whole holiday idea and fast running outta Raya garbs.

..in our family potrait, we looked pretty happy, we looked pretty normal...

Postscript: Who blogs on Raya anyways? What kind of loser existence do you live to want to blog on Raya? Or even 2nd day of Raya, at that? Even I'm not that big of a loser.

Postscript: Lost 1.5 kgs during the fasting month. Yay. Gained 2kgs in 2 days of Raya. Die.