Waking up for work everyday at the ungodly hours of 6.15 am, I find myself unbearably grouchy and unsuited in a civilized capacity when I'm at the office until about noon. Also, I would be sleepy despite the mountainous amount of work to be done. After a week being a walking, half awake, time bomb, I resorted to drinking a cup of coffee in the morning. It helped. Of course it would. I was afraid of exactly that, actually.
My long history with coffee started in 2000, about the time I started working for Starbucks (big surprise huh?). I became a semi-junkie then but it wasn't really bad. I needed coffee but was still considerably functional without. I had to stop the habit when I started Matrix in 2001, mainly because my supply of free coffee ended but also because the story of another barista at Starbucks getting a severe stomach ulcer due to his heavy coffee drinking (2 carafes every morning, noon, evening and night) scared the beans out of me. Quitting coffee wasn't easy, nor was it especially hard. I just switched to Coca Cola instead. Har har. Same shit, different day. What was weird was my caffeine addiction got increasingly bad when I was hooked on Coke as opposed to when I was drinking it in latte form. At my worst, I would drink two 1.5 liters bottles in one night (I was cramming for a final).
This went on until I was in Uni. Off coffee completely, but Coke junkie, big time. It got so bad that I began slicing myself, spending all my money on it and doing everything just to get my next fix. Before I knew it I was living in a cardboard box in the streets, begging for drug money from people, not knowing where or what day it was. My ruin, was complete... KIDDING.
But it got bad enough that my mom had to conspire behind me with my roommates to make sure I wasn't drinking too much if it. I guess it got bad enough that the addiction had to be managed. It worked. Slowly, I weaned off that stuff. Still dabbled with it some time but not as bad. Yay me. Hello healthy kidneys.
So back to my current working conditions. Coffee every morning now. I was worried that I could be falling off the wagon so yesterday (after 1 solid month of drinking coffee every morning, 5 days a week) I put myself to the test, and I jumped off the deep end too. The most extreme condition imaginable; Monday morning, first day back after a long school holiday, I refused myself coffee. The verdict? Bloody hell. Tie me up, drench me in glue and roll me in hay; I am officially off the wagon!
Had withdrawal, bad. I was so sleepy and useless, I managed to finish one fifth of what was on my to do list, and there were only three things to do. You do the math. Also, I could barely contained myself from snapping everyone's heads off for no apparent reason other than their mistake to assume I'm a fully developed humanoid capable of taking control of my homicidal tendencies. And me minus coffee on a rampage would not discriminate (read: includes bosses and superiors). Not a very smart career move. Suicidal, even, yes? So today I'm back to ingesting my usual dosage of stomach lining drano. The only bright side to all this mess is that the Aik Cheong coffee in a bag I'm taking probably only contains 2% coffee. Yeah, I take what I can.
Lord. I'm so weak. So so weak. *curls up into a ball and cries next to the hot water dispenser*
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