July 22, 2008

Lady Noisemaker

Have you ever met somebody who you think is just..noisy?
Not talkative-noisy, I don't mean chatty. Chatty is fine. Talkative is alright. (Eff off, Lizzam. I'm perfect)
Just noise-ful. Full of noise. A noisemaker.

I met such a person last week. At a meeting. Which is not a suitable place to be a noise-ful person. But she was.
How should I describe her?
She didn't say anything (which goes with what I said about talk-noisy versus noiseful-noisy)
But she constantly emitted various sounds that was not necessary. i.e. noises.
She jangled. She jingled. She banged. She clicked. She clanged. She clinked. She slurped. She buzzed. She was a bloody Onomatopoeia.
And she sat next to me.
I understand she created all these noises involuntarily. But it got irritating to hear the cacophony of the sounds she created nonetheless. Everything she did and everything on her would just screamed and hissed and barked. Her bangles, her wheezing breath, her chewing, her vibrating hand phone with some sort of small bells accessories, her handbag which she would not stop reaching into, her frequent shifting on the chair, her weird rattling pen with dangly bits, the lip smacking thing she did every 5 seconds, her loud bajukurung with the even louder scarf..EVERYTHING! She was this tempest of constant noises. Nothing about her was quiet. Nothing was restful. I swear, even her blinking was an auditory assault.

I came out of the meeting jittery as a junkie hamster made from coffee and found myself refraining from making any conversation with anyone for the next 5 hours. I needed my quiet. Lord, did I ever.
This is not her. But she was as noisy. Noisier, even. Stupid pig.