July 03, 2010

People Watching

There are no strip clubs in Kuala Lumpur (that I know of). Let's just assume there are no strip clubs here, hence Kuala Lumpur has no strippers. So, presuming you're not a stripper, why on earth do you insist on dressing like one*?

Clothes, you can buy. Style, you can copy. Class, you either have it or you don't.


*lucite heels, animal print ripped spandex top, short acid wash jeans shorts, fake lashes, 4pounds of makeup, dangly earrings, tramp stamp tattoo AND fuchsia lipstick. I mean, come on.

July 02, 2010

Irritant

A gaggle of girls sitting on the next table at this Mamak place, eager to join the masses watching the football game. Loudly commenting on every single action on the field to no one in particular.

Trying to convince the world that they are, indeed, the very rare and special species of girls that are seriously into football. They know all the players' names. Well done. They the loudest to cheer/moan/groan every time something happens. Sometimes belatedly. They think all attempts at the goal are beautiful and singularly worth talking over loudly for another 10 minutes or so. They wear the tiny team jerseys, proud to show their colors (and body) and where their allegiances lie. They reminiscence about the last game before this, that game was better, cooler, they watched that one, too. They are hardcore football maniacs.

Shut. The. Fuck. Up. And. Go. Home.

Everyone knows as a football fan, you're basically Justin Bieber (i.e. a fetus), but in the spirit of the Cup, we'll allow it.
Everyone also knows that you're only at this Mamak place for the guys, but in spirit of having some airhead eye-candy for the guys here too, we'll allow it.
Everyone knows that, the only reason why there are no guys sitting in the same table with you is because anyone who knows a smidgen bit more about football than you would laugh their heads off listening to the inane and irrelevant comments you insist on (loudly) making all night long, ironically to prove to the crowd how well you know their football, when, in fact, you don't.
But we'll allow that too.

It's the World Cup, and every 4 years, we can afford to be magnanimous to the needy and pathetic.

Just know that nobody is impressed.

And please, just shut up. If I want an inaccurate play-by-play, I'd ask TV1 to resume localised commenting. I want to enjoy the game in peace with my buds. I may not care about the result as much as you (seem) to do but your screeching every time someone dives grates on my nerves.

And learn about the offside rule(s).

And a deflection does not make it an awesome goal.

See you next World Cup.

Sigh.

Thank you.