letter to a fren on a ledge.

dear fred,
i hear u.
but im not willing to settle for 'gud enuff' in dis life.
the way i see it (even more so after reading ur mails) is im not gonna get a second shot at dis.
nor wud u.
one shot, dats it. might as well make it worth it (despite the perpetual mood swings and neurotic tantrums and attitude mal-adjustment)
at least if i screw up (which i undisputedly would) i wud kno dat ive tried. seriousli, i tink having no idea wat ure gonna do next 5 years is not the end of the world.
i dun even haf plans for the next 5 minutes in my life and i kno people whos clueless of their life even at the age of 40. dis, on the hand, is sad.
at the risk of sounding redundant -we're young and sincerely believe dat part of being young is to be a lil stupit wen it comes to things we are to do wif life.
we are meant and suppose (its in the manual, read it) to be reckless, emotional, vulnerable, dissapointed, pseudo-jaded, misunderstood, selfish, mindless, idealistic, misled, etc etc about life. this, wud roughly translate into FUN.
u dig?
its always good to haf plans for ur life. granted, most of what we plan
wudnt go as plan. no sweat, back to the drawing board.
nothing however, is fate worse than giving on life, giving up having ambitions, giving up on dreaming for the better, giving up planning.
i do see whre ure going wif 'dun plan, itll just bite u in the ass later'. just kno dat, u own ur life. no matter how sucki it is.
just dun, i dunno, just dun give up. surefire way to never make anything better.

u kno wat.
maybe ure just goin thru a phase.
like the'im happy, im perky, lets help suicidal frens to be happy and perky' phase im going thru.
as for u and eva langoria [name altered to perserve frenship]
i dunno, im thinking ure thinking dat eva langoria is prolly the best thing to happen to you.
which is always good but u shud think on how much eva langoria means in ur
life, on the whole, as opposed to u in hers.
frankly, it seems like u might not be fair to her in dis.

the wise guru-ji,
nella shuhaime M D
psychoanalyst extrodinaire

postscript:fred, theres a higly definite possibility dat i migt just be talking thrash. u kno im exceptionally gud at
doing dat. fell free to disregard all. i have too many emotional garbage
involved here.