on learning to be happy

i am the most happy when im with my friends. and when im eating (explains a lot)
im happy when i play scrabble.
im happy when my whole family is safe and healthy.
im not very happy early in the morning before i get caffein or sugar administered through IV in my blood.
im happy when i find people i like and i can talk to.
im happy when im making coffee behind the counter and talking to nice people and knowing their story.
im happy with a good book that i wish wont end.
im not very happy with people cutting queues.
im happy with imagining ridiculous things that i wish would happen.
im happy knowing i really want other people to be happy.
im happy when i dont regret things i buy.
sometimes im happy im impulsive.
im happy thinking about stuff.
im happy doing henna hand design for cousins and brides.
..
i wish i could be happy about my family more.
i wish i could be happy about things i have.
i wish i could be happy about people's good fortunes.
i wish i could be happy seeing how well friends have done.
i wish i could be happy about myself more.
i wish i could be happy about things i've done.
i wish i could be happy about stuff i've said.
i wish i could be happy with decisions i've made.
i wish i could be happy for happy sake.

regrets are dumb. i have none.

end of the road.

..
bummer

i'm sure pigs resent the comparison.

i wrote and sent this to my gmail buddies (we usually mail each other life updates) on april 13th.

this is freaking me out.
the new guy at work, he's nice and everything.
BUT he makes this tiny belching sound all the time.
bfore and after meals.
its like a polite burp u try to hide, and he makes it all the time.
but no one should be burping this much.
no one normal, anyways.
i dont think he even realises hes making them noises.
its really starting to weirding me out.

and this on may 11th.

last april 13th i sent everyone a mail about my belching collegue.
i dont blame u if u havent read it. nonsensical ramblings of a disturbed mind.
...
anyways, this belching freak at my office, right.
well, he's still belching/burping/expelling wind noisily. even as we speak now.
he does it regularly.
all the time, sitting down, surfing net, typing stuff, walking, talking to someone..all the time.
ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!!! literally,. so not kidding here.
i hate it, i hate him, he's a fricking moron. a weird, constantly burping, lumbering idiot - moron.
i already know im gonna kill him,
the real question is how?????
suggestions?
think; pain, a lot of pain.

and another big one on june 20th.

remember snot-boy?
well, he's been upgrading.
and spreading the love too.
been told that the guys from the R&D dept as well as those from Operations cant stand him.
why, because he farts.
yes. he can actually be more disgusting than he already is.
they said that he would just um, break wind in the middle of a conversation with anyone and doesn't feel the need to excuse himself.

and flatulent boy is also known to be a comestible kleptomaniac.
he eats people's biscuits, drinks their tea, uses their mugs and smokes their ciggies sans permission.
very 7th grade but apparently here its a hanging offense.
and they don't need much to hate him on top of his questionable hygiene. and bad grooming habits (same shirt two days in a row and razor blade to face deficiency)
apparently now, the whole office hates him.

most of the time people in the office wont really have anything to do.
but being somewhat IT crazed, any free time would be used to surf the net or chat or download stuff or whatever.
meaning, even if we have no work, we would pretty much still be at our desk doing whatever we can with fast, unfirewalled internet connection.
and we would appreciate people doing the same or leaving us alone while we do it.
office bonding would be during lunch time, numerous ciggy breaks and prayer time.
unwritten/unspoken rule that is mutually respected.
snot boy (version 2.1) doesn't get it.
he would go pest other people and annoy the hell out of them.
he has pretty much left me alone after i gave him my special "to-me-you-are-lower-than-cockroach" treatment a long time ago (complete with monosyllable responses, supreme haughty looks, IDontWantToBeSeenInPublicWithYou vibes and ufuck-off attitude. batteries not included)
but the moron is really pushing it with the rest of the office. they barely tolerates him.
only yesterday i heard Halim shouted "lantak la lagu ape, kau ni semua nak tanye, leceh betul..,"
even the cleaning lady hates him. *cleaning lady loves everyone*
because she caught him smoking in the toilet and one time he forgot to flush. knowing that im not alone in hating this guy has been liberating.
am totally relieved to know that i am perfectly justified in absolutely loathing him. that i am, indeed, not a bitch. im also a little happy too to know that other people cant stand him. and if that makes me a bad person, well, tough.
REALLY CANNOT STAND HIM~!!

and earlier today.

just found out that the guy who sits on my left hits on divorcees.
its revolting.
as i am typing, he's chatting someone up on the phone.
beyond disgusting.
and the bullshits he's telling her, good god!
he even asked if he can meet the kids!!
*vomit blood*
pure, undiluted bullshit for 20minutes and counting.
i snorted coffee out my nostrils when i heard he said "i cant believe you have no boyfriends yet, someone as attractive as you, guys you're hanging out with must be blind.."
...
aaaAAAAaaaAAAAaaagggHHhhhHH..

and how stupid can u be to fall for that line?
now spurting more crap from his mouth telling her they should meet and spend a day at Sunway Lagoon so the kids can have fun.
my faith in the male gender of the human species has just sank to all time low.
is there anything that you guys wouldn't do?

between this guy and snot boy, would you blame me if i choose to become a lesbian?
no, seriously, would you?

i do know there are some good, decent guys out there.
im not generalizing. i just need to meet new people.
so you can stop writing your hate mails now.

is it just me or im cursed to spend my sad, sad life around sad, sad guys?
kill me now.
make it fast.

wentworth miller, my mom and her new hobby

dear mak,
i have NO plans of getting married anytime soon.
try again in 5 years or so. ok?
i love you.

XOXOXO,
your *highly exasperated and determined bachelor* daughter.

p/s: theres no more milk in the fridge.
p/s II: i ate the last pear. sorry.

wentworth miller and the swedish nationals

2-2.
not bad.
good game.
so now we're to meet germany.
the only team yet who havent lost a game.
im optimistic.
..
i need some air.

wentworth miller

scott adams today posted on his blog about his favorite tv shows. which is cool. ive always been upfront about my obsession with tv shows.

so here. my alltime tv show list
1. prison break.
2. daily show with jon stewart.
3. supernatural.
4. house season 1 (season 2 sucks)
5. coupling.
6. lost season 1. season whenever there's a jate moment.
7. the colbert report.
8. roswell (guilty pleasure)
9. the office.
10. less than perfect.
11. my name is earl.
12. entourage.
13. dave chappelle's show.
14. anthony bourdain's no reservation.
15. jerry springer (dont ask)
16. i love lucy.
17. the late show with david letterman.
18. SNL.
19. law and order. special victims unit.
20. xmen (the cartoon series)
21. jamie oliver.

there. irrefutable evidence that i spend way too much time watching the idiot box. there are some of the shows that arent really shown on the tv but you gotta love the net!

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wentworth miller and the swedish nationals

woot.
1-0, hell yeah.
yay freddie.
now lets beat england.
woot.

wentworth miller and the swedish nationals

0-0 against trinidad?
are u farking kidding me?
ibrahimovic, larsson and ljungberg and u can manage is a measly draw against a WC newbie?
u haf no idea wats at stake here, do u?
do u guys even plan to win anything at all?
haf u any idea who else is in ur group?
..
u guys make me sick..

wentworth miller

world cup 2006.

my very obvious group leaders predictions.

group A - germany
group B - sweden, england
group C - argentina, holland
group D - portugal, mexico
group E - italy
group F - brazil, australia
group G - france
group H - spain

my initial top 3 teams.

france, brazil, england.

wentworth miller

grabbed from elena

schoolmates. circa 1999-2000.
im in the melee somewhere.
(5 from left, nonexistant eyes)

wentworth miller

wait.
after this hotness, im retracting the previous statement.
doink.
wat was i thinking?
....

but no, seriously, im not really sure.
damn, im weirding myself out again.
divine intervention, i need divine intervention.

wentworth miller

how do u know for sure, anyways?

wentworth miller

i might be gay.
im a stoned slacker.

wentworth miller

hotel towels

i have this theory, you can tell the standard of the hotel youre staying in by the towels they provide.
for instance, in korea the hotel we stayed gave us handtowels, as bath towels. so obviously its a shitty hotel. it was. it was borderline restraining camp.
and hongkong's hotel was a towel galore. five star.

i've worked it out:
and a hotel that provides one bath towel per occupant, is a probably a one star hotel.
one bath towel and a floor towel, two stars.
one bath towel, one floor towel, one hand towel - three stars.
the same dig as above but extra fluffy towels - four stars.
one bath towel, one floor towel, one hand towel and readily available extra bath towel - also four stars.
one bath towel, one floor towel, one hand towel on the vanity, one hair towel outside the shower stalls, extra bath towel on the bathtub rack and a bathrobe in the closet; obviously, obvously five stars.
five stars and one pink heart if they set all the towels and have bath salts, lavender scented.

im onto something here, obviously.

wentworth miller and me

pictures of (me, me, me!) my hong kong trip.
version 1.0

windblown, fat and onboard the star ferry from kowloon to hong kong

foggy and tilting at the peak.

froggy, small and wet at ocean park

damp and still foggy at the cultural centre, kowloon.

happy, damp and magical at disneyland

tired, happy and semi-dry at mong kok shopping district