October 30, 2006

the raya grinch *updated*

i really cant stand raya jingles.
i hate all the festive songs people seems to play everywhere.
once, i walked out of a store just because the raya they were playing were grating on my nerves.
i hate all the fuss about food to break fast with.
i hate all the fuss about celebrating raya.
i cant stand the chores and workloads i have to do preparing the house for raya.
i hate being in the kitchen cooking for raya.
i hate the food planning, the decoration planning, the clothes planning, the visitation planning.
i hate people coming over for raya.
i hate going over peoples place for raya.
i cant stand cousins looking at you and comparing your raya outfits price.
i hate it when relatives look at you and comment on your current weight gain.
i hate the packing and the rush of long distance journeys for raya.
i hate the same boring food and kuih everyone serves.
i hate the pitiful look aunts give me when they found im still single.
i utterly despise the pathetic matchmaking efforts.
i hate the emotional blackmail involves in inviting friends over or friends inviting you over.
i hate seeing how much older everyone gets year after year.
i hate watching the obvious inbred duit-raya greed parents nuture their kids with.


i hate raya.
im hating this raya. i shall hate the next one.

.:. feeling petulant, jaded, cynical, bitchy, bitter and bored. this feeling would pass.

.:. *update* feeling hasnt pass. more cousins coming this weekend. im buying a uzi.
how was your raya people?

October 18, 2006

identifying with the bad guy

its but human nature to root for the underdog. and more often than not, the person against the underdogs will be the bad guy. no one cheered when appollo creed kicked rocky's ass in the first movie, say what you want, but everyone was rooting for rocky. given, we were presented with little choice, we were only showed the grit, perseverence and determination rocky possesed, the morning jog, the endless sparring, the sacrifices, the setdowns. and it's how it is supposed to be. the good prevails over evil, everytime. you are not supposed to cheer for the bad guys. you are supposed to be on rocky's side (maybe on appollo's in the later rocky movies - only cause he was a good guy then), you can admire darth vader all you want but it was only right for luke to triumph in the end, hansel and gretel pushed the evil witch in the oven, hitler died a painful death in a ditch covered in petrol and the big, bad wolf was rightfully killed by the woodcutter.

so, what do you make of yourself when you suddenly find yourself on the wolf's side?

hitler deserves to die but who the hell does hansel and gretel think they are to come and eat people's houses and later shoved them in an oven? surely, it was justified when the witch decided to eat them as punishment to damaging her lovely house. its her house, when people come and started eating at your house you are allowed to get mad. and being an evil witch means you have a reputation to uphold. eating those little brats were the least she could do as punitive damage. would it make any difference if appollo was up against a more prosperous opponent? the creed-balboa fight was only great because it was an underdog versus an established fighter match. creed was at where he was because he deserved it. he faught for it, he worked at it, he was the champ because he beat everyone else. then came this dude, impressing everyone with his cool jogging theme song, all set to overcome creed and noone gave any thought at all about creed's hard effort. not having a theme song doesnt a bad guy maketh you. vader made a choice, he has obviously seen both sides and he made a choice and stood by it. surely something like that deserves a thought. there was only so much misusing 'the force' could have helped him in achieving that level of greatness. surely most of it was his own personal effort. and if little red riding hood was stupid enough at first to mistaken a wolf with her grandma, then the friggin girl deserves to be eaten. for a wolf, an animal, to be able to dupe the homo sapien grandmother and the stupid girl is to be commended not jeered.

im not worried that i might be a closet evil witch with a big oven.
im just sick at the world being bias and unfair.
take off your rose tinted glasses and observe all these shades of grey.
try a different perspective even if it hurts.
and maybe sometime give the bad guy a chance.

October 13, 2006

when raya pokes you in the eye

Company's Buka Puasa At KLCC Convention Center
Apparently its an anual company thing. The holding would have this super grand buka puasa ceremony inviting all the Datuks and Datins and Tan Sris and anak yatim and the staff's family member. Big shinding. Tun Mahatdir couldnt make it this year (no shit) but usually he'd make an appearance. I was persuaded by a comittee member colleague to help out with ushering people since I'm not married and going to the party stag (sure, rub it in, why dont ya)

I fell in love with the super cute kids from the homes we invited. About 6 homes were invited and there was around 400 of them. Age range from 5 to 17. And the little ones were sooOOooo cute. I ended up spending the whole night with them and my table members ended up not seeing me at all the whole night. I fetched ice creams, wiped mouths, helped cut chickens, talked about school with the older ones, talked about the merits of break fasting at hotels with the teachers, pulled chairs, pushed chairs, cut more food, fetched more ice creams, showed them the seating arrangement diagram all the AJKs have (the diagram has pretty colors on it), explained about my bosses, fixed crooked tudungs and songkok, helped get the too-high-to-reach fruits, wiped snot, talked about the grossness of boys with form 2 girls, talked about UPSR, headed delegations to the toilet, learnt names, kissed goodbye more chubby cheeks i could count, hugged more small bodies than ever, wished everyone selamat hari raya and had the single, most rewarding night in my life.

My heart broke when 5-years old Atikah tugged my sleeve and whispered the question "Akak, akak dah ade anak?" No. "Akak nak tak anak?"

I went home at 10, with blisters on my sole the size and shape of Northen Ireland (who woulda guessed, wearing 3 inch stilletoes while running after energetic, young kids is not really wise?)

I manage to meet and (briefly) greet only 7 of the 26 Very Important Clients and Connection my company invited. As a marketing personnel, I'm a disgrace.

Woke up this morning feeling quite invisible. Nailed my presentation (the amout of self confidence was ridiculous, no one has any question to ask afterwards, I think I scared them), 2 of the homes called our company and thanked our liason officer with a special mention to thank me, by name. And my CFO took me in for a research on a new project. Got my raya bonus (as puny as it is).

I think I grew up a bit last night.

Now I'm off to scream at my own brother.


In The Spirit of Raya
This would be the first raya to I'm supposed to hand out the green packets, since I'm already working and all. I have made up a list of eligible receipients and sure as hell, it's quite long. I have mandated that I'm only giving to underage, primary schoolers cousins and children to cousins. The first group (which is quite small since my mom is the youngest of her family and my dad married quite late) would received from their beloved Kak Ila the grand amount of RM5.00! Booyah. The second group would prolly get from their Kak Ila (I'd kill anyone who'd call me Mak Ila or Mak We or Mak-anything. Cold blood murder them) RM2.00 cause there's like, 3000 of them. My cousins, they breed like rabbits!
Else, it'd depend on how much their mom or dad used to give me when I was younger. Heh.

I'm also starting my raya mailing list. The companys card is really pretty and I can definitely afford stamp costs. So, if you want me to send you one, mail me your add.

Kum and Atie, I do overseas mailing too.

In the DisSpirit of Raya
I have the whole raya week off. No idea what I'm gonna do with it. Not really looking forward to Eid. I stopped being happy eversince I was too old to get duit raya and old enough to be stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning for the hordes of people who'd come to the house. None of them being my guests. Dispite the claim my mom would (annually) make about how she'd never have an open house event thingy. Because instead, she'd have several open house events thingies. And I'd be helping with the cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning. It sucks to be me during raya. It really does.

October 09, 2006

OCD me?

observe this little incident: was out with shiren yesterday. since she was driving, she dumped her stuff on my lap. one of her stuff being a cardigan. so we were rolling and talking in the car, i subconciously started buttoning up her cardigan. noticing that, sherwin, who was in the back seat yelped, "eee, so OCD." to which shiren said, "no way man, shes a slob." and i would normally concur with the later comment. but this is the 4th time people has said that im a little OCD. so now i wonder.

regardless what shiren said, she and i both know that im not a slob, per say. im sufficiently clean, hygenic, neat, BO free and occasionally messy. what (little) i know of OCD is what Monk is like, and im happy to think that im nowhere like that freak.

but i do have certain quirks, that when i think about it, is a little erm, off. i have always thought that i am a little anal but surely being anal retentive is not even in the same ballpark as being OCD, no?

i iron my bedsheets and pillowcases before i put them on. i flip and rotate my mattress every 6 months. i colorcode my wardrobe (this is where i scare people off), i colorcode my earrings collection, i colorcode my toolbar icons, i colorcode my browser bookmarks, i have certain towel sets to be used with certain matching linens. i label and organize all my photo albums and file folders. i have tendency to clean my toilets at ridiculous hours (think 2am), i hang the laundry according to colors. i always have a 'to-do' and 'to buy' list, i make up the bed before going to bed. i keep all my receipts and log them, i always clean the little nooks and crannies. i cant sleep unless i bathed right before. i used to colorcode my shoes and loose wires drives me nuts. i programmed and actually use my speed dials.

on the other hand,
my whole room is swamped by books everywhere, my undies drawer is never organized, i still cant find my harry connick jr CD in the midst of my CDs melee, i am well known to forget about my asignments and projects, i have lapses of time when my room would be in total chaos (i call it my 'bilik dilanda garuda' time), i have post it notes all over my room, i wear turqoise heels with purple dress. i cant iron a pant correctly.


what do you think; OCD, anal retentive, neat freak or just everyday slob?