Humour Orientation : British

I prefer British comedies over American. Dane Cook is not funny. Eddie Izzard is. So is Stephen Fry and Alan Davies and Phil Jupitus and Bill Bailey and Jo Brand. British stand ups (or Welsh, Scots, Irish, you get the drift) are funnier. The US may have more popular sitcoms but the British people are funnier. Their jokes are funny without being crass and, with some slight exceptions of British reality shows, and more intelligent. They do better at sarcasm too.
QI is gold. Doesn't get any more random than this. Read, learn and weep, Cook.

1. George Foreman delivering a powerful right hand to a parakeet.
2. Does the pope eat beavers?
3. The fear of not being able to find the receipt for a faulty item.
4. He had a concrete swimming cap.
5. They explode on contact with fondant.
6. You'll be safer carrying a freshly butchered elk leg.
7. Put Smarties tubes on cats legs and make them walk like robots.
8. You could put your head in custard and no one cares.
9. The little book of calm and mace spray.
10. Put in the fucking saucepan you fucking idiot, show a bit of fucking passion.
11. I think you look more like a welder.
12. Technically I think you could fax a snake.
13. Where the little people prance and dance.
14. Eat well, shit hard.
15. I'll leave a little stumpage.
16. For all intent and purpose, you're dead, let it go.
17. Two bears crawled out and they were shot.
18. A rotten badger and a jealous sloth.
19. I have spilled coffee on the anteater.
20. Today my cheese got stuck in the wall.
21. They should put railings around you and have children come and stare at you.
22. The sea is in fact only 4% water.
23. He was deep-fried into submission.
24. I like to have no bodily smell.
25. That's not a bear, that's the Sydney Opera House.
26. Cold like Venus in winter.
27. The gene pool needs a little chlorine, you know who you are.
28. This pink polenta, I like pink polenta.
29. Is it mint?

Try and use as many as you can in one day. I've ended stories with number 20 and used numbers 4, 8, 19 and 24 in my conversations today. Use it in your emails or put it on your sandwich, they're simply delicious.

Like The Previous Post Never Happend

Victoria Secret 2007 What's Sexy List (who apparently have some delusional people working for them)

• Sexiest Trendsetting Style - Sienna Miller
• Sexiest Male Musician - Justin Timberlake
• Sexiest Female Musician - Carrie Underwood
• Sexiest Actor - Eric Dane
• Sexiest Actress - Jessica Alba
• Sexiest Dad - David Beckham
• Sexiest Mom - Kate Hudson
• Sexiest Beach Body - Matthew McConaughey
• Sexiest Couple - Jay-Z & Beyonce
• Sexiest Smile - John Duhamel
• Sexiest Eyes - Adrian Grenier
• Sexiest Legs - Cameron Diaz
• Sexiest Lips - Jennifer Hudson
• Sexiest Cast - Grey’s Anatomy

source

Here's what I think of the list, from the top; EWW, EWW, Okay, Hell Yeah, I Concur, Perhaps, Gross, He's Alright, Kidding me?!, The Fugglilicious Is Getting To Him Though, Who? Oh Him No!, NEVERRR!!, Are You Retarded?, Only If You're Brain Damaged.

My 2007 What's Sexy List

• Sexiest Trendsetting Style - Gwen Stefani (incredibly great music and great fashion sense) and JLo (incredibly sucky music but great fashion sense) or Vix Beckham (on reserve)
  
• Sexiest Male Musician - Damian Kulash
  
• Sexiest Female Musician - Carrie Underwood
• Sexiest Actor - Eric Dane (hubba hubba)
  
• Sexiest Actress - Jessica Alba
• Sexiest Dad - David Beckham The Brad Pitt
  
• Sexiest Mom - The Angelina Jolie
  
• Sexiest Beach Body - Matthew McConaughey Jason Momoa in 2000
  
• Sexiest Couple - Brangelina
• Sexiest Smile - John Duhamel Scarlet Johansson
  
• Sexiest Eyes - Hugh Laurie & Jensen Ackles (fangirl squee)
  
• Sexiest Legs - Gerard Butler (swoon)
• Sexiest Lips - Angelina Jolie (D-Uh)
• Sexiest Cast - House and 300 and Prison Break and Danny Ocean's Team, Supernatural

Yeah. Now we're talking.
Who has the better list; the glorious, brilliant me or the idiots that works at the bra shop? Hah.


Edited because lust makes you forget things and just because I can.

In The Closet

To put it simply, if this was an episode of South Park, Stan would be yelling,

"Dad, Nella wont come out of the closet!"

Capisce? Yeah, you and me both, buddy.

Disneyland Japan Picture

IMG_0858
Originally uploaded by disputed over-lamb.

Besides the ability to set your facial muscle into a permanent smile (nothing a little surgery cant help, I'm sure) what else does it take for someone to qualify to be a Disney Princess/Prince? I'm sure character studies are a piece of cake. (it's a fairy tale cartoon character, for crissakes, happily ever after and whatnot) Must to not suffer from motion sickness in moving vehicle? Well developed arm for relentless waving?

Everything else is a non decisive attributes thanks to the advanced technology of cosmetic, wigs, platform shoes, padded costume etc. But I'm sure the cincher would be the fact that the job doesn't require expressing your choosen sexuality on the moving float. Because it's Disneyland, and there are little kids present. And Because I totally sense the fruitiness of Snow White's man candy. He's prolly letting Cinderella's Price Charming stick the tip in.
Oh god. I've destroyed Disneyland.

Japan Picture

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Originally uploaded by disputed over-lamb.

Gorgeous creature. Delightful in stomach too. Berries on spikes. Who can not love them. Yum.

More Pictures

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Originally uploaded by disputed over-lamb.

When in Tokyo, do as the .. Tokyons?? Tokyis?? Tokyians?? Anyways, hence the peace sign. Cheesy but apparently its embraced whole-heartedly by all Tokyis everytime they take a picture. Annoying really. But I like it. Liked it, I mean. I wouldn't be shallow enough to fold into the societal pressure of conforming in exchange for temporary gratification of the pseudo feeling of belonging and adjustable. Of course not. Seriously. Ahem.

Pictorial

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Originally uploaded by disputed over-lamb.

Terrorizing the locals. Where's an Ultraman when you need him, eh? har har
*bada bing* oh god, sometimes I'm too hilarious for words.

Pictorial *revised*

Originally uploaded by disputed over-lamb.

Shinjuku. Looking deceivingly not busy in this picture.

Ive deleted the original picture post cause they suck. I was obviously high when I did that. These are better. It smells good and it'll make you look more attractive too.

April Fool

4- 1 against liverpool?
yeah, pull another one, that one's got bells on it.