What Would You Teach A Mynah Bird

Azzard (my cousin) had a mynah bird once named Bird (very original, right?) Bird was a delightful bundle of feathers. He could talk. Azzard taught him things to say and whenever we visit we would say (yell) our favorite phrases for Bird to repeat. Among the many delightful things he would screech was "I twot I thaw a puddy cat!", "Beam me up, Scotty" and "Hello Bird". Bird died and Azzard replaced him with a cat named, you've guessed it, Cat.

Got me to think, what would I teach a mynah bird to say, should I have one (which I probably never would). The thing about teaching birds to talk is that they pick up words and say them at the weirdest time. More often than not, in front of company. So, I came up with this list of what I want my bird (the hypothetical one I am not getting) to say:

1. Du~de! (I overuse this word like you wont believe)
   
2. Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
3. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
4. D'oh!
5. Jam for beavers.
6. Don't make me go there and smack you across your face. (I say this a lot)
7. Resistance is futile.
8. Re-for-ma-si! Re-for-ma-si!
9. No soup for you!
10. Say, you ever watched that movie 'The Birds' by Hitchcock?

What would you teach a mynah bird to say?