on too much time on my hands.

one fine morning at a secret headquarters.
boss : whose fault is this?
everybody : not us. not us.
boss : surely it's somebody's fault.
lowly lackey : it's not ours. it is all the fault of that new girl. yes, she did it.
everyone : yes. yes. the new girl. she did it.
boss : the new girl. is it her fault?
lowly lackey : yes, O mighty one. she, who is not one of us is at fault. she did it. she did it.
boss : the new girl. is she the one who caused this catastrophe?
lowly lackey : oh yes. she, who downloads television shows incessantly. she is the one. she is at fault.
boss : summon the girl. let her face her crimes.
me : yo.
boss : insolence. do you know what you have done? have you any notion what you did?
me : no. what?
boss : insolence. you have managed to topple the whole network of this organization. you! you are responsible to the utter desistance of the entire network. you! what do you have to say to that?
me : no kiddin'.
boss : insolence. this is no laughing matter. this is a crime punisable by jam.
everyone : jam! jam! jam! jam! jam!
me : dudes.
boss : utter ruins awaits us, have you no sense of guilt? for it was you who made this wreckage that have caused others misery and strife. for its you that have made the whole network collapse and tumble with your downloads. for its you that caused the internal network's destruction and devastation.
everyone : you! you! you! jam! jam! jam!
me : yo chill y'all. i know this, no way i did all that with my minuscule 100 kbps downloadin'. which i do after hours. and what network shutdown? the internet is working fine y'all. the outlook is working fine ainnit?. which means the problem is with the hardware or a virus in the server. the only thing i could have done with my downloading is slow down the internet. that aint happenin'. and even is the net is slow, which it is not, you should really blame those homies downloading porn like shitzzle upstair. you crazy crackhead mofos. you aint trippin' me with all this accusations. this dame is diamond yo, i shine smart, i break none. word.

**boss - angry mufasa voice
lowly lackey - grima wormtongue
me - dave chappelle