Allow me to digress..

and to procrastinate (I have a 40-page report due tomorrow at 1pm and I haven't done heck).

I found this while I was digging through the mounds of notes my 7months in INTAN has allowed me to accumulate ( I was supposed to be looking for my Research Methodology notes. I get distracted very easily, as you can very well see). It was the sketches of an article draft I was supposed to do for our magazine editorial. We just won the debate competition (more on this later, maybe) and Mr. Editor who was also on the debate team asked me to pen something about it. This was what I wrote:

The day we won the debate competition was indeed a day full of surprises. For one, the very fact that we even won it was an unsuspected ____ (encountered a writer's block despite the brilliant start. Asked the rest of the team to help out but they were rubbish so I restarted.)

We had one motto going into the competition, with due respect to the opponents, we held fast to our totem; "it's okay to lose as long as you do it with style". The win was an unexpected. Heck, even the preliminary win was a huge surprise. We were so unready for the finals that until we sat down on (sic) our seats on the stage (for the finals), only then that Un and I realized we had the motion wrong. But true to the spirit of the Sidang (which was strong within us) we decided to do what we have been doing the whole time; we decided to wing it. I doubt Shemi even realized anything was amiss, as usual he was too caught up with himself. What I remembered most from the competition was how vastly entertaining the audience was. One time, I only had just finished the salutations but the applause was befitting me curing cancer. I love the actions that was going on in the seats. I was sure I could see the VIPs themselves suppressing a smile or two as well. Even the hecklers was lovable. This whole essay as you can tell is about me, me, me, me, me, me and me!

I lost interest at this point and reevaluated sending any article at all for the Editorial. But 5 minutes later I got bored with whatever lecture that was going on in class and decided to give it another go.

Facts about the Debate Competition ppl don't know.

1. Shemi has photographic memory so in essence we cheated. Cause we brought wiki.
2. 2 out of every 5 facts we presented were totally fabricated.
3. It was the battle of the giants (school-wise) MCKK in one corner, SAS in the other. STF backing Koleq just for fun.
4. It was colder on the stage than anyone could every imagine.
5. Everytime we raised our hands for POI, we had only 50% of an idea of what to say. We lie best under pressure.
6. It has been collectively 25 years since any of us last debated.
7. We felt the topic was grossly unfair to us. But since we won anyway, it just shows that we're that good.
8. We overestimated our opponents. We thought they'd be much better. Apparently, they suck.

As you can tell, I wasn't being serious. Can you tell? Well, I wasn't serious. I was joking. My ego is not that huge. Am not that obnoxious. But I gave Un/Mr. Editor the draft anyway for a look-see and he made some notations:

Un's 2cents: no. 2 - don't mention, tukar lain

no. 8 - play nice dude, tone down

add-ons:

-Un had difficulties to listen to any of the POI from fellow oppenents because Neila and Shemi can't stop talking from both sides of his ears.

-at the back of the hall, we sang Mariah Carey's I can make it through the rain (while we were waiting for the VIPs to arrive).

Good times.

Oh Lord. I miss my friends at the DPA like you can't imagine. Choi. Back to work now. Sigh.

Blood, Guts and Gore.. it must be Eid!

So it's been a while. My apologies but I can't really be blamed for having a life now, can I? Ahem. So, in case you're wondering (which you probably aren't), I am alive and well and having the best time of my retarded life. Yay. Will dish out details as soon as I get to leave the antiCreativity-Vortex that is INTAN. Seriously, if there's any place on earth that could suck out all your individuality and creativity, it's this place. Guess, it's not that big of a surprise seeing how it is here that mindless government drones are bred and trained every miserable day. But I digress..

It was Eid al Adha and I got to go back for a while. I wanted to post all the really gruesome pictures but I really don't want to offend any of my 3 readers. So, behold the PG pictures..

That person with the white serban and black wellies is the SlaughterMeister extraordinare. This was the moment when Bull became Hamburger.

This was still twitching when it was plopped in front of me. Twitching! It wasn't even connected to the cow anymore. Come on.

These escaped the festivities. Count your blessings, goats!

Pictures are obviously not in sequence. Just a surrounding shot of the site of carnage before any carnage was occurred. People standing around trying to look like they know what they're doing.

Still PG right? Everyone grab a limb and work our way down from there. Bear Gryllis did a whole camel on his own.

Cousin and moi. Ahem. Yes, the headscarf was borrowed and only because it was the only one available. I forgot to bring any of my own. Shut up.

End result. Yummilicious squared. My arteries are still crying over the grease and fat intake from that day. Haha.

FIN.

this is what my legs look like today

I did this to myself. Glory has a price

Life through a Face Mask is so much more better looking

Am in Kuala Kubu Baru, Selangor now. The Fire and Rescue Academy Malaysia. Am currently ongoing the last of my uniform-outdoor module of this course (yes, it's still not over and yes, it's been forever). So yeah, am with the Fire and Rescue Dept. and of course it's hardcore army training. Much harder this time cause our last outdoor anything was before Eid we are woefully outta shape. So, after 2 days of pumping, star jumps, situps etc etc, I'm happy to report that I'm surviving. I have bruises on top of bruises and I lost feeling on both of my legs now but hey, it's all fun. The instructors are hitlers and the sun is unforgiving but now I learnt to put out oil spill fire, compartmentalized fire behavior, set up my own breathing apparatus and carry the bloody thing around town (heavy like shit wei), learnt to set up water lines, repelled down a 4 storey building and the creme de la resistance, went through a 200m trauma inducing underground sewerage while wearing the BA. And it's only Wednesday.
Wish me luck for Thursday, Friday and Saturday

Talk to the Hand Cause the Face is Laughing Too Hard..

She was talking about me.

I'm posting what she said here for all you lazy buggers. It's a good one so you might want to brace yourself:

there is a junior from my high school doing her attachment here. i don't know if i should tell her that i recognize her. it was her name, actually, that made me notice her, because it wasn't common. i'm not going to introduce myself, anyway, at least not as her schoolmate. i was suprised that i recognized her at all, since i don't pay much attention to people, more so juniors, but i was even more suprised because i did not like her. at all. and that attitude hasn't changed a bit! she was the kind of junior who would refuse to greet her seniors, and would defend her place in line when a senior wants to cut in (things you didn't do back when seniority rules still applied and the school system still relevant). to think of it, she was kind of like me, except with much, much more annoying high-pitched voice and an even worse know-all attitude. at least i was quiet and kept to myself.

I did a week placement at Selayang Hospital and saw her the first day. I knew exactly who she was. The funny thing was that, I could recall no previous opinions about her from ye olde skool days. I didn't hate her, couldn't remember if I'd ever did. I was (and still am) indifferent to her. But I had to admit, it was a tad weird when she seemed so clueless of whom I was. I mean me, the ultimate celebrity. Hoho.

But now I know why.

And I have this to say: it's been 10 years, sister, let it go. All these baggages, it can't be good for the soul, yeah? This is life after school, live it. Embrace it. Love it. Feel the love, can you feel the love? Feel the loveee...

You're nothing like me, you're a better person. You forgive and move on. You're not judgmental. You're an open and warm person. You're not stuck up on the past.. Wait, did I have it backwards? Yeah, I did. Smirk.

About the seniors-cutting-line-thing (Lord, can you get anymore juvenile?); Sorry, but I didn't do it to my juniors, can't see why you had to do it to yours. This one still gets on my nerves.

My voice is modulate and pleasing to the ears. The dulcet tones of my voice is craved by many. Admit it. Hahaha.

Can't do nothing about the know-it-all attitude. I am better than anyone and I know the best for everyone. Fact. Although I prefer the term 'opinionated hussy' coined by Shiren Monkee especially for me.

I did keep things to myself during the hospital placement, her boss even remarked that, "it's these quite ones (refer: me!) we have to watch out for..". So, okay, maybe he probably changed his mind after spending more than 2 hours with me but still..

I would normally refuse to greet anyone whose life has no importance to mine, senior or otherwise. Why wouldn't anyone?

You're right though, it was back in the days and when you were still relevant. Times has changed indeed. Hah. Burned.

Grow up la kak oi.

X (now) + 1. Groan

I'm over you.

I want good things for you.

If anything, I'm indifferent to you.

I have some regrets but I can live with it.

I really do hope you get to have a happy life.

Having said that, I'm also selfish (and narrow-minded) enough to hope really hard that my life will be happier, better and awesomer than yours. Hah!

This is the Raya Grinch

So Eid came and.. well, it's still here, isn't it? Ramadhan was probably one of the awesomest Ramadhan ever so therefore Eid was even more dreaded than usual (oh, sue me). Had to be in campus during the weekdays but they paroled everyone out on the weekends.

Got my Eid garbs two days before Raya. Which is a good time to get Raya stuff since almost everything was marked way down. Yay.

So, I Raya'ed in K.L, Temerloh and a day trip to Kuantan. It was alright. Meh.

Today is the 13th day of Syawal and people are still coming to my house. Great. I live for the day I get to do endless amount of dishes and non stop refilling of the Raya cookies. Snort.

Ahem. So, from the family and myself, since Eid is stubbornly still now, a somewhat belated Selamat Hari Raya. Whopping whee.

You just have to know when to give in..

Even when you try so hard to resist..

Even when you think you can withstand it..

Even when it's against everything you stand for...

Even when you still don't get what's it all about..

..you need to know when to give in and give up..

They say; if you can't fight it, then screw it, join it.

So, after being staunchly protestant about being associated with it, I have *reluctantly* decided, for various unavoidable reasons which has forced my hands, to..

JOIN FACEBOOK!! ~am so ashamed.

nellashuhaime@gmail.com.. moving with the insanity.

It's My Party

Real clever, Akak. Jerk.

Butterscotch walnut. yum.

It was my 2*ahem*^look! a badger with a gun, can you see?^*cough*6th birthday yesterday. I had big, fat fun celebrating with new friends over in Campus and later with my family at home. Shopped at IKEA with mom for storeroom shelves and kitchen blinds. Bought myself a pepper grinder for my birthday present. Pathetic, I know. Oh well.

Thanks my family for the food they sent over for me to share with my classmates, the presents, thanks everyone for their birthday wishes. Next time just get it right, it's my 22nd birthday, geddit? Who you calling 26? You wanna come here and say that to my face,punk? Yeah, I don't think so.

Getting older means you're scarier to little kids.

Everyone in their rattiest PJs and half asleep (we had a test during the day, so we crammed the night before). They still managed to finish all the food and all I get to send to the boys were half of the cake. Poor ravenous fools.

Yes, we take our partying very seriously. Snort. Snort.

Teaser.. Sorta Kinda

I promised updates and pictures, non?

Well, going through the millions (and millions) of pictures I have of my course (which is only halfway done), I got scared. And lazy. Oi, vedi the lazy wei. So, here's my deal: I'll post a picture or two of each module I've been through. And later (like, next year perhaps), if I can remember any particularly amusing story from any of the modules, I'll do a special post of it. With extra pictures and extra sambal.

**For the aliens out there, what is happening right now is that I'm undergoing a 7months course for my job confirmation. This *stupid but highly entertaining* course consists of several week-long modules like Economics, Human Resource Management, Law, Constitutions, etc. etc. Among the myriads of modules, I also have to attend some awesome outdoor module i.e. Army, Police and Firerescue Training and the memorable Outward Bound. These are their stories =cheng cheng=~a la Law and Order: SVU.

The first two weeks (May) was sheer blimpin' hell, excuse my Jawa. I was out of shape and bewildered and they made us camp out in Lagong with no sleep, 8hours hikes and insane disciplinary antics. I posted my post-Lagong physical sakitness renderings here. It was during this module that I was introduced to the now-familiar squat jump, star jump, PT10, 5 degrees of sit ups, 2.4km run, etc. etc. Aah.. Memories. I'm also still recovering from the 1st degree sunburn from the multiple 'let fry them in the sun at 2pm cause they were _____[insert whatever asinine reason you can come up with]' sessions. Picture:

Compare fiveforehead with forearm. Choi.

Hello, tubs of whitening creams.

Only seemed happy cause brain is fried and sleep deprived.

Next, I went for my army module, allegedly the hardest and toughest and feared of all the outdoors module. It wasn't all that. I mean, in a good way. I managed to muddle through so it can't be that hard, right? I mean, I'm basically your blob of human fat traipsing around with zero stamina. I did fine there hence it can't be that bad. Yeah, we got yelled and screamed and hollered at. But it was all good. There, in the hallowed ground of PULADA (Army Training Centre, Johore), I discovered 3 things:

• I love riding in the 3 tonnes truck. Love, like, L.O.V.E. Best. Thing. Ever.
• I'm pretty good at dismantling and using a M16 rifle. So-so aim though.
• I can drink all the water I want and if I run around in full camouflage gear in noonday heat, I wont ever need to go to toilet.
• I am awesome. Ahem. Evidence only shows.
• I can't count apparently. Hmm..

Pictures, only because I'm too cool.

Personalized camouflage. Nama sape ntah.

Who would've thunk that something so, erm, aggresively vehicular could be so much fun? Sigh.

Then, we were bussed off to Lumut, Perak for our vacation, I mean, Outward Bound module, more fondly known as OBS (retro acronym - Outward Bound School). I had so, so, so, so, oh Lord, so, so, so much fun here, it's ridiculous. Kayaking and whalering. Learnt about riggings and sails and camping and had plain crazy fun. Choi. Gile. Pictures now.

Watchmates and I storing the sails in the erm, sail house.

In our beloved whaler, Loius Rothman II, that kicked other whalers' asses. Boo yah. I manned the bow and the jib sail.

Kayaked until my shoulder quitted. Avec Roy (beloved kayakmate who volunteered to be the sweeper. Psychopath that he is) en action.

Tadaa. My 3-tiered tan lines.

And then there was my Biro Tatanegara module in Malacca. I was there for 5 days of brainwashing. Yes, I am 100% pro government now. All evil roots from DSAI (there, you people happy now?!)

With my white school uniform, damn cute right? Snort.

Last is my most recent Police Module. Out of this world experience. And guess what, the pictures ain't ready. I have a few but the stories that comes with it will have to wait.

Was in Ulu Kinta for 3 days for training, Including the PORU (Police Order Riot Unit) training. Dem awsum.

Compass reading practical. Piece of cake.

Faez and I. Woke up at 6 for marching practise. Perky for a.m, eh?

So there. Janji telah dikota. Holy shit, its already time for sahur. Enjoy these and I'll catch you later.

Is This Link Broken?

Oi.

So it has been a while since I last updated.

I'M SORRY!

Still, that ain't reason enough to kill my blog, kan?

Right?

Sigh. All the wonderful stories I were about to share with the world..

Oh well.

Wrecked, frazzled and brainwashed

I pledge, that as soon the stupid contractor finishes renovating my house and reconnect my bloody phone line and as soon as I find where I stashed my modem, I shall dedicate one entry per module of this course I'm attending, avec illustrating pictures. Because I'm having the time of my life right now and it's just not right that I deny all of my readers (all 2 of them) the pleasure of sharing the most illuminating experience to my life as yet. Ahem.
As to that, allow me the small honor of updating everyone (the 2 aforementioned) that I just finished my Citizenship and Constitution of Malaysia (roughly translated) course. It was in Melaka and what it was, was basically 5 days of a certain one person bashing and repeated reinstatement of all the justifications of why a certain detainment act is necessary to the whole lot of us, diplomatically put. What it was to me was a demonstration in absolute denial by various degrees. I managed to practise my poker face and read Pratchett under the guise of taking notes.
But not all was in vain. I learnt the lyrics to some patriotic songs (the ones that all this while I only vaguely recognise thhe chorus), crash course in the history of this fine nation and most of all we managed to visit Melaka town. It was great fun especially us looking very retro awesome in our regulatory white school uniform.

I'm gonna try to upload pictures now. Am posting from my cell so we'll see.

... I failed. Later I will try again. Till then, my little brother's college convocation is today. Joy. Congrats brat. Now get a job so I don't have to give you duit raya this year.

News From Afar

Ahoy. Here's a quick update just to prove to people I am still alive. Picture was taken last two weeks on top of our whaler (Louis Rothman II) in Lumut. Had crazy (CRAZY!!) fun and am now sunburned to crisp. In case you forgot, I'm the one standing by the main mast saluting the world and enjoying being so far away from our restraining camp.

Reprieve!

Warning: inverted commas will be severely abused in this posting.
They're letting us out for 3 days this weekend. They say we 'earned' it for 'good behaviour'. They say its a 'priviledge' and we still need to be 'careful' because in the next 7 hours until they let us out, 'anything' could still 'happen'. They say be should be 'thankful' because we are allowed to see our families after 2 weeks solid of 'training', 'conditioning' and 'orientation'.
I say..'thanks'. *you have no idea how hard that is for me to say*

Now, I need to buy a black court shoes that doesn't murder my toes, get a medical checkup done for the army module, withdraw billions of money to pay for the millions of stuff they asked us to and cuddle with my mom.

Everything Farking Hurts

i'm in purgatory. My mom made me volunteer for this. I am not loving my mom right now. It's been 9days since I last had a decent night sleep. I am barely coherent and extremely snippy, i pity the fools around me.. They've been dishing out army style physical torture and I have bruises on top of my bruises. My right toe is numb and I don't even know what day it is today. In short, I'm freaking awesome
And guess what, I have 6 more splendiferous months of this to look forward to. Fudging A.

Roadkill

I've noticed in the past 2 weeks that there have been quite a number of roadkill I can see on my way to work. This morning I decided to count and discovered that there were 5 dogs , 2 cats, 1 suspect snake and 2 unidentified carcasses (all in various stages of decay) littering the side of the 10 km from home to the office. That's quite a lot, you'd have to agree. Unusually so, even. And the dead ones are evenly spaced out in all the areas I have to pass; from Selayang to K.L (via Kuching Road), equal share of animals run'd over. Obviously roadkill happens all the time, I'm very much aware of this. It's probably normal to have maybe one or two dead fourleggers every 2 other months or so. But 10 dead animals in 10 km? That's not right.

Are Malaysian drivers getting especially retarded in the past 2 weeks? Are animals more suicidal than usual? Tag games gone wrong? Some deadly vendetta going on between the homosapiens and the other mammals/suspect reptiles? Sadistic animal population control? Skewed Pavlov reaction to shiny metal contraption on wheels hurtling down the freeway at 90kmph? What? It's a mystery, one we'd probably would never know the truth to..

Later today, on my way back, I'm gonna take pictures and put it up here. The one dead dog near the Duke Freeway is especially gruesome, with maggots and decimated brain matter and everything. Awesome.

(Of course this could be happening because of all the road lights are not working now and nights are especially dark but hey, common sense sucks. And rationality is boring)

ohai shanghai

The theme of this Shanghai pictorial is 'Flora and Fauna'. Like your Standard 5 art project. I'm a girl. I like flowers. Deal with it.

I'm a woodland fairy. Whee. Okay, maybe more woodland mafia-hitman than fairy.

This is peony, the national flower of China. They bloom for one week every spring. This peony is blooming. I like peonies. But every time I say 'peony' it comes out sounding wrong.

This is my retarded pose next to a 1000 year old bonsai of my choice. I like this mini-tree. It looks like a surprised Ent.

Maple and Me. Spring was awesome.

This tree was in Suzhou. Erm, at that gardenn-place we went with that crazy crappy tour guide. Darn, I'll check my travel journal after this and do a proper reporting of places I went and name of things and shit. But for the meantime, when was the last time you stepped outside and smelled the flowers?

Swiss Family Shuhaime

This family gets antsy when we stay in one place for too long. So, it took us exactly 56 hours to:

a) pick a random place to travel to; and

b) arrive at the said place.

This year, we closed our eyes and eenie-minnie'ed places we've yet to travel and came up with...SHANGHAI.

Next post for stories and more pictures. 

The Lipan Episode

Warning : Long-ass post.

According to Wiki, a lipan is this creature.

According to me, it is an evil, sinister, creepy, critter from hell. HELL, I tell you. And I'm an authority on this matter because on December 29th of 2008, a lipan bit me on my thumb. 

Allow me to illustrate my previous statement.

This,

Fudging bit my thumb.

What Happened.

On a peaceful December 29th night, the whole clan was back in Temerloh, hanging out at our pad, chilling. Even though we each have our bedrooms, everybody preferred to sleep outside. We would spread comforters and duvets and inflatable mattresses on the floor and just slumber-party'ed around the living room and the family room. My spot is in front of the TV in the family room. Great spot, that. 

So, it was (not quite) the night before Chrismas when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. I was asleep and my sister next to me was too. It was around midnight when I felt something between my toes on my left feet, drowsily I reached down and tried to brush it off with my right hand when IT happened.

The most excrutiating pain I've ever felt. Ever. Pain like you wont believe. White hot pain just coursing through my thumb. Numbing everything else but the shocking burning sensation throbbing at my right thumb. One moment I was asleep, the next, I was in serious, serious pain. 

Of course, instantly jerked awake by pain didn't help me figuring out what was happening. Woke my sister up with my quasi-scream of alarm. Still didn't really understand what happened. Woke everyone up after I switched on the lights and saw the 2 puncture wounds oozing blood on my thumb. No one was any help nor knew what to do because no one knew what just happened. But after carefully flipping through our beddings, my sister saw the red centipede and dad smashed it with a handy length of wood we keep around the house for situations such as this. When I say smashed, I mean, pulverised. I think it was 17 feet long and 5 inches wide. My sister said it was only 4 inches long. Whatever. She lies a lot.

All this happened in less than 10 minutes after I got stung.

All this while I was blubbering in the room, cradling my thumb and just crying my eyes out from the pain.

It was that bad. 

Clueless and hopeless (there was only Minyak Cap Kapak in the house, for real, y'all), dad drove me to the emergency room at Temerloh Hospital in 7 minutes flats. Props for pops. I was groaning in the backseat the whole way. Not so much crying anymore, but shivering with cold and clutching my thumb and just wishing the pain would go away. Okay, maybe I also whimpered some. I remembered thinking, if this is this bad, giving birth would be murder. Odd, but true.

The E.R at Hospital Temerloh did an admirable job admitting my sorry ass immediately upon arrival. Joy upon joy, a lipan bite was enough to be considered an emergency case and I was promptly ushered to a treatment room. At this point, I was more than ready to scream the mantra that's been in my head the moment I saw the Hospital's front gate, "Gimme the good stuff now. Make the pain go away!". 

They jabbed me three times (one on my shoulder, one on my butt and another through a drip on the back of my hand). The pain lessen (a tad) and after all the jabs, I was in pain and feeling nauseous. Well done. The rest of the hospital visits passed in a blur. My sister took care of the administrative stuff and I got called to see a doctor properly after a short wait (which none I remembered except discovering one of the doctors were my high school friend, Aisyah. I don't really remember the meeting except my sister told me I was lucid enough to be sarcastic to her when she asked me what I was doing there. Good to know)

We returned home and I snuggled next to my mom and tossed and turned a while (2 hours) in misery. I was still in pain and the painkiller didn't really help. Lying down wasn't helping so I walked around the house for a while (2 hours!), half asleep from the drugs and bumping into furnitures. I finally managed to fall asleep and woke up the next morning at 7 am for my Subuh prayers with zero pain. None! Other than the swollen thumb, last night could be just a dream. A very excruciating, painful nightmare, mind you but still.

The thumb after the night's episode:

The swelling went down in a couple of days and life proceeded as it should, unperturbed.

Or so I thought..

The Aftermath

A week afterwards, my normal size right thumb has only 2 small marks to show for the December 29th episode. I was more than happy to show my battle scars to friends and wallow in the 'awe and amazement' of surviving such strife (it could as easily be 'horror and disgust' but I like being delusional). Then the thumb started to itch. Bad. Because there were no discerning surface area that actually itched (just the whole thumb in general) my method of scratching the itch was by gripping the whole thumb in my left fist and rotate. 

And then the swelling began again. A visit to the doctor confirmed that the immediate swelling on the night was due to the toxin, but this time, this swelling was because of the infection. Hooray, right?

How long did it take for the swelling to go down this time?

2 fricking weeks, people.

2 weeks of mismatched thumbs.

Left thumb, meet right thumb on steroids.

Of itchy, swollen digit.

Gatal macam you wont believe, weh.

Of weirdness happening to the bitemarks.

I call this color pallate: the Rainbow of a Festering Wound. Tres chic, non?

Changes color according to my mood. Like a mood ring. Only not. And itches more. Shit, it itched.

Of medications to avoid more weirdness to happen.

Orange, strawberry, pineapple, mint and green apple flavored pills. I eat them counter clockwise.

I tried to keep a picture record but more often than not, I pretend my original right thumb was away for a while and I was stuck with a replacement thumb on loan temporarily. I would try to get to know the loan unit better but I longed for the day my original thumb would return to me.

Azura visiting from Manjung, Perak filling in until original thumb gets back from her skiing trip in Vancouver.

And of course, I couldn't leave a festering scab alone. So this would naturally happen when I picked and prod the stupid swollen wound.

How awesomely gruesome is this?

But after a while, like all good things, it has to come to an end.

A sure sign of being on a road to recovery when I can now bend my thumb. Yay thumb.

The conclusion

What I take from this whole experience are:

a. my current pain threshold register (sharp 36% decline since early 2000);

b. my understanding of government hospital procedures;

c.  instant goosebumps whenever I remembered the sheer, unadultrated pain I went through;

d. innate fear of giving birth (tabik ah para ibu); and

e. anti-spokesperson on the evilness of lipans, we should never underestimate these nasty crawlies.

I like to think I came out of this experience a wiser, more cautious person. That was why I took this picture during the next lipan encounter I had at the same Temerloh pad last month. What is with all these lipans in Temerloh, you asked? No idea, Fred. But we have 2 less than we did before, that I know.

Real live lipan, temporarily stunned by obscene amount of insectide sprayed upon it. Real live unpedicured toes belonging to me stupidly close within striking distance just so you can have a measuring basis. 15 seconds later what was left of this lipan was enough to be washed down the sink. Revenge, it is indeed most sweet.

-END-

Earth Hour

Fun, wasn't it?

Look how easy it is to feel good about yourself.

What Was That?

If I were to pick a word describing our non-encounter : Juvenile.

So we pretended the other were invisible. Great. What's next? See who can hold their breath the longest? Dare each other to shave a cat? 

But as a "friend" oh-so-gently said, I'm probably still not over you.

What's your excuse?

IMHO, It Sucked; My Movie Review-Twilight

Being the consummate trend setter that I am(ahem), I've decided to check out what's the fuss is all about, the hoopla about that new movie, you may have heard of it, Twilight (cue: tween screaming).
And thus was reminded that, like 80's, the public really has no idea what they're talking about. I mean, spandex bike shorts, hairspray and shoulder padding, people. Really?
It was probably the innate dislike I have for movies that open with self narration. Or maybe that the girl is has 0.5% star quality and her character is blander than a boiled cauliflower. Or the very selective vampire lore they decided to follow that basically makes their version of vampires neither bad, good or remotely interesting (this I need to explain: What they did was make a vampire with all the fairytale qualities [rich, superhuman powers, immortal, good looking] and blatantly force- feed viewers to like their fantasy version, hallowed out vampire. Vampire Barbies. Surprisingly, this also turn their vamps very, very, very, boring. A vampire who doesn't drink blood? And I did not see fangs. Roll in Angel and Spike, please).
Twilight continued to unashamedly disappoint me because even as a so-called romance movie, there are practically ZERO CHEMISTRY between the lead casts. Nada. Zilch. They could be siblings for all good that it does. I should also mention that I am unable to stretch my considerable imaginations to even consider thinking Robert Pattinson as anything but remotely okay looking. He is not hot. Not. Hot. Stop forcing us to think that he is. What was the line, "He is so hot but none of the girls here are good enough for him," Are. You. Serious? How on earth could the deluded casting him as Cedric Diggory be let to continue this long? Is his family in the mob? Why is this happening? Although, I have to admit, I was entranced by his magical hair, where unicorns and fairies come out to play. Also bad was the horrendous make up. Igh. I shall however, refrain myself from saying anything about the nonsensical plotline and inane scripts because I, for one, am not a movie elitist and has/will admit to have enjoyed watching precious crappola such as GI Jane, Shaun of the Dead and 2003's Italian Job. But they were bad, the scripts and storyline. I read somewhere that the script was written in 6 weeks. I say, with the gaping plot holes and gets-nowhere lines, it showed. And the special effects, GAH, 70's much?
But perhaps, my biggest beef with this movie was the unnatural amount of time showing extreme closeups of Cedric and Blanched Cauliflower a.k.a Bella just staring at each other. For the love of God. Seriously, people. They're in love, we get it. Is that supposed to be, what? artsy? deep? What am I missing here? I have to say that they're hardly coming across as entwined souls wordlessly conveying silent messages of love; instead they merely look sappy, neurotic and slightly cross-eyed.
I wont get started with how I find the movie to be very misogynistic and depressing (bite me and let me forsake everything in my life because I am in love with you, the "hunky", brooding vampire I've met for 3 seconds. In no way should this be perceived as a submissive and self sacrificing gesture I'm doing for a male because we're in love dammit. Also, when I say I shall love you forever and ever and ever, I am not being a psychotic, clingy bitch. Take note).
I fast forwarded 2/5 of the movie because certain scenes were very painful to watch. Like the badly portrayed fight sequence, and the hissing/posturing after the baseball scene, the baseball scene, all the scenes with the dad, all the scene with the vampire dad, the immediately accepting high school cliques scenes, also the prom scene was especially unsettling, and the biology labs scenes, etc. etc. I did enjoy it whenever the evil (evil because they do what vampires are supposed to do) vampires and the Cauliflower's hot Native Indian BFF gets their shine screen time, however small. Oh well, in utmost strife, I do try to find my small pleasure. Happy this is over though.
What?
A sequel?
Shoot me now and bring back the 80's. At least then all we had was Lestat.

Switch off your iPod and lets just do this for 2 hours without saying anything.

Wisdom is Boring

Ooohh.. trying to consistently update this blog is hard. It's probably the getting older. Because as you age, you reprioritize.

• Clearing your in-tray before trying to update your blog (just making my point).
  
• Getting clothes from the dry cleaners are now more important than going to see a movie.
• Buying shoes are now less important (blasphemy!) than making sure you don't double book yourself for two Ministry events/stuff at the same time.
• Not picking up phone calls is now a hanging offense (it wasn't before, I only picked up calls when I felt like it).
• Hanging out with real flesh and blood friends in real time over real food trumps updating whatever networking-website accounts and/or chatting online.
• Calls over SMSes.
• No more late night live football matches on work nights, sleep is essential to sanity.
  
• Finishing the meeting's minute in 3 days beats going home at 6pm for the weekly Scrabble/Boogle/Monopoly/Risk/Congkak session with family (however painful).
• Making sure you have the car is refueled every Sunday evening is definitely more important than going to that promising warehouse sale.
• Paying all your bills before the 4th every month including this month regardless how tempted you want to buy that stupid iTouch on discount.
• Buying handbags for storage space than only consider how good it looks on me.
• Owning black court shoes (I hate myself).
  
• Paying premium price for good food at a good place.
• Making sure you're never out of phone credit at all time.
• Making sure your shoes and your handbags match (I used just to rebel it out).
  
• Buying that RM300 baju kurung batik over the divine RM100 casual sun dress (groan).
  
• And ultimately, in bed by 10.30 pm is effing wajib okay? Nothing tops that, however pathetic/lame it may make me sound.

I suddenly realized that at least 3 items on the list makes me more..uncool. Dammit, I heard that getting old sucks. Now, this proves it. I'm off to listen to 'N SYNC (sad attempt to rejuvenate one's hipness. Wait, 'N SYNC is no longer cool? What? What do you mean that 'N SYNC was sadly never cool? The hell you say.. Fark it lah. I give up. So, I'm afraid I am now what I've always feared to be, a boring adult. What the hell lah. So what. I'm off to do my tax return..)

My New Year Post is from My Handphone 3 Months Too Late

This blog is not dead. I have just been crazy busy with work. I know that's a weak excuse and there are other people out there who also has a job and could decently maintain their blog at the same time and I admire that. But I'm not like that, am not that good. But I am here now. We should be thankful for what we have now, not what we think we should have. But then, there's probably nothing we should be thankful about the return of me sharing inane nonsensical ramblings of my overly bland life, spouting self rightous drivel, absorbed in the the misconception that somebody other than I would give a damn what I think.
But the again, I've discovered that my life would be exponentialy happier if I continue my delluded imaginings that everything could be better if I just scream loud enough. What utter foolishness, you agree? What load of peanut butter crock, you say? Indeed. But I'm happier and I am all that matters.

Hahaha. It's (surprisingly) good to be back. Bring it on!